Balloon Juice » Blog Archive » For Good Clean Fun

« Previous Post

For Good Clean Fun

By John Cole July 14th, 2010

Analyze your writing:

I write like
Kurt Vonnegut

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

This has been quite the rage on my twitter feed today.

Posted in Blogospheric Navel-Gazing

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 14th, 2010 at 5:54 pm and is filed under Blogospheric Navel-Gazing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

▲

131 Responses to “For Good Clean Fun”

1 protected static Says:

Much weirdness… this post appears to have screwed up the display in Firefox (3.6.6 on WinXP). And it doesn’t show up at all in IE7…

July 14th, 2010 at 5:59 pm

2 D-Chance. Says:

Someone broke the internets, Cole…

edit: all better. ‘Refresh’ing, in a way.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:00 pm

3 R-Jud Says:

I submitted the recipe for the quiche I made tonight and it said I write like HP Lovecraft.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:03 pm

4 Tank Hueco Says:

H. P. Lovecraft.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:03 pm

5 NobodySpecial Says:

I write like I have no business writing.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:04 pm

6 dms Says:

Well, using three paragraphs each from two different chapters of my unfinished book, I got two answers:

1. Steven King
2. Vladimir Nabokov

I much prefer the second.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:05 pm

7 Irony Abounds Says:

Stephen King – if only I had even a tenth of his money.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:05 pm

8 Dr. Psycho Says:

I tried bits of a fanfic I wrote (Steven King), a fantasy vignette (Dickens) and an erotic detective novel (Nabokov).

I guess that means I’m complex. Or undisciplined.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:06 pm

9 SarahLoving Says:

I submitted a bunch yesterday and received Margaret Atwood and George Orwell. I was so pleased that I chose to submit a third time and got….. DAN BROWN.

I now wear the Cone of Shame.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:06 pm

10 Xero Says:

I was told I write like Stephen King, who, it says writes like Lewis Carroll.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:08 pm

11 cleek » I Write Like Says:

[...] via [...]

July 14th, 2010 at 6:08 pm

12 cleek Says:

HP Lovecraft!

i wish i knew what that meant!

July 14th, 2010 at 6:08 pm

13 jwb Says:

@dms: I tried five different passages from a single article and came up with five different authors. Go figure!

July 14th, 2010 at 6:12 pm

14 Jay in Oregon Says:

I submitted an erotic short story I wrote and got Nabokov as well.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:13 pm

15 wobbly Says:

No one writes like Kurt Vonnegut did back in the day.

Except Mark Twain.

Wow.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:13 pm

16 Josh Says:

Apparently, I write like William Shakespeare.

English major win?

July 14th, 2010 at 6:13 pm

17 jwb Says:

@SarahLoving: And if you submit your comment here, you end up back with . . . Margaret Atwood!

July 14th, 2010 at 6:14 pm

18 Jay in Oregon Says:

@cleek:

They are the undecipherable scribblings of a madman which, if we could decipher them, would reveal the stark horror and meaninglessness of existence, culminating in a time when godlike beings come to earth and devour our souls?

July 14th, 2010 at 6:15 pm

19 Comrade Mary Says:

I’ve submitted various rants and more modulated, helpful bits of writing and my results have been: Nabokov (The WHA? Flatter me much?), Stephen King (He’s a decent prose stylist with some flaws, but not a complete hack), Dan Brown (KILL ME NOW!), Nabokov (Oh, your flattery is salve for my burning soul. I’ll take it), King (Am I gonna be rich?), King (Oh man, maybe I’ll get rich), Lovecraft (Advising people gently and throughly on the best bike for them evokes eldritch horror? Um, OK), King (This link seems appropriate) and Dan Brown (NOOOOO I don’t want money that much. Can’t the Old Ones kill me first?).

EDIT: Ands this comment came back as King. The lyrics for Opportunities? Dan Brown. I rest my case.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:15 pm

20 Xecky Gilchrist Says:

I got Chuck Palahniuk (submitted a day’s worth of my NaNoWriMo free-association.)

July 14th, 2010 at 6:17 pm

21 freelancer Says:

Lol,

My friend submitted her entire MFA thesis, and got Vonnegut. I submitted 3 different selections of prose, and got Stephen King, Jack London, and Vonnegut.

Apparently my co-blogger and friend Alex writes like fukkin Tolkien. Hoocoodanode?

July 14th, 2010 at 6:18 pm

22 David in NY Says:

Well I submitted two portions of a legal brief, one portion of the statement of fact that turned out to be Margaret Atwood (whom I have never read, partly because I didn’t think it would be fun) and portion of the argument turned out to be by Dan Brown (ouch!). Now don’t make fun.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:18 pm

23 anthrosciguy Says:

I took a web page of mine and pasted it. The result was “Lovecraft”. But pasting it section by section got “Lovecraft”, “Atwood”, or “Poe” for various sections of the same page.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:18 pm

24 Rick Massimo Says:

Unfortunately, driftglass put Hemingway’s “Hills Like White Elephants” in there and it came out James Joyce; Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18 came out Rudyard Kipling; Mark Twain’s “The Private history of a Campaign That Failed” came out Lovecraft, and O. Henry’s “The Gift of the Magi” came out Mario Puzo! (It should be noted that Vonnegut’s “Harrison Bergeron” came out Vonnegut.)

Just sayin’ ...

July 14th, 2010 at 6:18 pm

25 tjlabs Says:

I put in two very different posts. The first one said I wrote like Stephen King, the other like H. P. Lovecraft. I’m starting to scare myself.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:19 pm

26 MAJeff Says:

I got Vonnegut for my food writing and Joyce for an academic sample. Clarity is, apparently, not my strength.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:20 pm

27 Cat Says:

This is so 1996. Markov chains have been guessing authorship of writings since around then.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:21 pm

28 Josh Says:

I submitted a small piece of flash fiction I wrote and got Raymond Chandler (it was a 99 word complete story).

I then submitted the opening paragraphs of a short sci-fi story I wrote and got Isaac Asimov.

I think I’m good with that. Shakespeare and Chandler are OK, but my favorite Science Fiction author has always been Asimov.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:21 pm

29 thomas Levenson Says:

did that twice—with the first and last page of my most recent book, Newton and the Counterfeiter. I managed to replicate the experience of many above. The first seems to have been penned by Stephen King, the last by Dan Brown.

I’ll go shoot myself now. (Dan Brown is, imho, the worst writer living.)

Actually, if I could get King’s wealth and deeply envied productivity, I’d consent to live.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:21 pm

30 Miss Mouse Says:

I got Nabokov. I posted it on Facebook just to brag. :)

July 14th, 2010 at 6:21 pm

31 Tyler Says:

Three different sections of my masters thesis on labor law and baseball go Dan Brown, HP Lovecraft and Ian Flemming. Scarry.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:22 pm

32 SarahLoving Says:

@jwb: Good to know Maggie’s got my back.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:23 pm

33 General Stuck Says:

Did a couple and they come up James Joyce. That’s cool since I like the Irish.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:23 pm

34 Allan Says:

Vonnegut or Orwell, depending on the text.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:23 pm

35 b-psycho Says:

Submitted a few blogposts:

-this one on BP & the escrow account wingers were calling a “slush fund” drew Shakespeare.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:23 pm

36 Linkmeister Says:

Since this was on my blog yesterday I put it into the box:

After getting home at five in the morning, and leaving a note for Fritz saying I would be down for breakfast at 10:45, I had set the alarm for ten o’clock. That had seemed sensible, but the trouble with an alarm clock is that what seems sensible when you set it seems absurd when it goes off.

Archie Goodwin, “The Rodeo Murder,” Three at Wolfe’s Door

And the thing told me that was like Arthur Conan Doyle. I’m not sure Rex Stout would be flattered by that, but hey, at least the literary genre was the same.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:24 pm

37 Bryan Says:

Apparently, Kurt Vonnegut wrote like J.D. Salinger. Personally, my money was that he would write like Kurt Vonnegut, but what do I know?

July 14th, 2010 at 6:24 pm

38 Comrade Mary Says:

This site has actually made me laugh out loud several times. This is a rare thing.

Example: the lyrics to Don’t Stand So Close To Me (which name drop Nabokov) come out as: JK Rowling.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:24 pm

39 Omnes Omnibus Says:

With two different blocks of text I got Steven King and George Orwell.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:24 pm

40 b-psycho Says:

(Edit: WTF is wrong with this page? The box replaces anything past the first part with a strikethrough & screws up the formatting.)

Other two it said Dan Brown (short comment on over-reliance on credit) & H.P. Lovecraft (two cents on Rand Paul & the civil rights act stuff). I had to look up who H.P. Lovecraft was.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:25 pm

41 Skipjack Says:

My unscientific survey detects bias. My selection of Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte apparently has the bot thinking she writes like Edgar Allen Poe, and Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte is a dead ringer for Oscar Wilde.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:25 pm

42 General Stuck Says:

Plugged in one of my older snark pieces from my blog and came up with Vonnegut.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:25 pm

43 Chad S Says:

Lovecraft here.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:26 pm

44 David in NY Says:

OK, tried again with a section of an actual amicus brief in the Supreme Court—pretty technical. Came out with Daniel Defoe, which is not bad given my prior results.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:27 pm

45 JD Rhoades Says:

I gave it the first three chapters of my WIP and it gave me Nabokov.

I call bullshit.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:35 pm

46 b-psycho Says:

Tried some song lyrics myself. Who knew Project Pat wrote like Steven King?

July 14th, 2010 at 6:36 pm

47 YAFB Says:

I bunged in some random old blog posts of mine, and got mainly Dan Brown (seems to be the default), with a sprinkling of Kurt Vonnegut, a couple of mystifying H.P. Lovecrafts, one instance of Douglas Adams, and for an intemperate rant about your wingnuts savaging the NHS, P.G. Wodehouse.

All in all, I’m not complaining.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:39 pm

48 David in NY Says:

This poem by Richard Wilbur:

A Shallot

The full cloves
Of your buttocks, the convex
Curve of your belly, the curved
Cleft of your sex—

Out of this corm
That’s planted in strong thighs
The slender stem and radiant
Flower rise.

came out as James Joyce.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:39 pm

49 tt crews Says:

I came up Isaac Asimov for a blog piece on a local redevelopment project. My daughter’s MFA thesis is H G Wells.

I put up my 10 year old son’s letter to his pen pal and he came out Stephen King. So…does my 10 yo write like King or does King write like a 10 yo?

July 14th, 2010 at 6:40 pm

50 JD Rhoades Says:

I gave it a blog post and it gave me Vonnegut. Then I gave it three chapters of SAFE AND SOUND and it gave me…Douglas Adams?!

July 14th, 2010 at 6:41 pm

51 daryljfontaine Says:

Fanfic from 1996: Chuck Palahniuk.

Long-ish comment from a gaming message board: Dan Brown.

This comment right up until the last colon: Also Chuck Palahniuk.

D

July 14th, 2010 at 6:41 pm

52 jacy Says:

I put in a passage from a published short story, a page from the mystery novel that’s at a publisher waiting for word, and a passage from the new novel I’m working on. I am apparently the bastard love child of James Joyce and Stephen King.

I’m still trying to figure out if that’s good or bad, at least from a commercial standpoint if not a literary one.

Yes, I needed one more useless thing to do that is a complete time suck and keeps me from doing any productive work. Sigh.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:43 pm

53 debbie Says:

Hmm. The first time, I got Nabokov. I then reposted the exact same text and got David Foster Wallace.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:47 pm

54 Bill Murray Says:

I compared the Beatles “I wanna hold your hand”, which came out as JD Salinger with “Let it Be” which came out as James Joyce, so I guess there was some growth during that career

July 14th, 2010 at 6:48 pm

55 mr. whipple Says:

HA! I got:

I write like
Kurt Vonnegut.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:48 pm

56 JGabriel Says:

Hmm. After being told I write like Stephen King, Dan Brown, and Arthur Conan Doyle, I posted the following in the I Write Like analysis field:

Looking into the rearview mirror, he realized that a car had been tailing him all along. He had never had any doubt he was being followed, but so far they had acted with masterly discretion. Today a radical change had taken place: they wanted him to know about them.

In the middle of some fields, about fifteen miles outside of Prague there was a tall fence with a car-repair shop behind it. He had a good friend there and needed him to replace a faulty starter. He pulled up to the entrance. It was blocked by a red and white striped gate. A heavy woman was standing beside it. Mirek waited for her to raise the gate, but she just stared at him, motionless. He honked his horn, but got no response. He looked out the window.

“Not behind bars yet?” asked the woman.

“No, not yet,” answered Mirek. “How about raising the gate?”

She looked at him impassively for a few more long sentences, then yawned, went over to the gatekeeper’s cabin, dropped into a desk chair, and turned her back on him.

So he got up out of the car, walked around the gate, and went into the service area to look for his friend the mechanic. The mechanic came back with him. He raised the gate himself (the woman was still sitting impasively in the cabin), and Mirek drove his car in.

“That’s what you get for showing off on television,” said the mechanic. “Every broad in the country knows what you look like.”

“Who is she?” Mirek asked.

He learned that the invasion of Czechoslovakia by Russian troops, which had made themselves felt everywhere, had changed her life as well. Seeing that people in higher places (and everyone was higher than she was) were being deprived of power, status, employment, and daily bread on the basis of the slightest allegation, she got all excited and started denouncing people herself.

“Then how come she’s still working the gate? Haven’t they even promoted her?”

The mechanic smiled. “They can’t. She doesn’t know how to count to five. All they can do is let her go on with her denunciations. That’s her only reward.”

Mirek was suddenly aware of someone a few steps away. He turned and saw a man in a gray jacket, white shirt and tie, and brown slacks. His strong neck and bloated face were toppped by a shock of artificially waved gray hair. He stood there watching the mechanic under the raised hood.

After a while, the mechanic noticed him too. “Looking for somebody?” he asked, straightening up.

“No,” answered the man with the strong neck and wavy hair. “I’m not looking for anybody.”

The mechanic leaned down over the engine again and said, “Right in the middle of Prague, Wenceslaus Square, there’s this guy throwing up. And this other guy comes along, takes a look at him, shakes his head, and says, ‘I know just what you mean’”

Milan Kundera will be pleased to know he writes just like Stephen King.

(Yeah, it’s a long quote, but I included it so other people could test it for themselves.)

.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:49 pm

57 Joseph Nobles Says:

I got H.P. Lovecraft (from an essay on Gertrude’s guilt in Hamlet), then David Foster Wallace, Chuck Palahniuk, and Ursula Guin.

Obviously I need to publish.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:51 pm

58 jah Says:

so it goes.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:54 pm

59 Bill E Pilgrim Says:

I write like Vonnegut.

No one could have predicted that.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:55 pm

60 Catsy Says:

I fed it the story blurbs from these two photos and it said Stephen King.

I fed it this rant and it said Edgar Allen Poe.

I have no idea what this says about me.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:56 pm

61 Bill Murray Says:

@JGabriel: I copied that in and got Kurt Vonnegut

July 14th, 2010 at 6:56 pm

62 John Harrold Says:

I submitted four different things and I got three different answers:

Vladimir Nabokov
David Foster Wallace (twice)
Mark Twain

Being only semi-literate I’ve only read Twain, so I have no idea if he is similar to the other two.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:59 pm

63 John Cain Says:

The people on your twitter feed are idiots. This isn’t analyzing your writing, it’s spitting out a random author. Hence the commenters above submitting the same posts and getting different authors, and why everyone in the blogosphere seems to write like a famous author and not, say, a five year old.

The key to understanding these “analyzers” that crop up every few months is the “mac journal software” up there. Notice how that’s a link? This is some advertiser’s cheap way of boosting its product’s Google ranking by exploiting the vanity of bloggers. You have been snookered, good sir.

July 14th, 2010 at 6:59 pm

64 YAFB Says:

As a control experiment, I fed it Palin’s latest Facebook post.

I don’t know what she’s paying her ghostwriter, but yes, it came back Dan Brown.

So did her GOP Convention VP acceptance speech.

Her latest Tweet? Stephen King.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:00 pm

65 Bill E Pilgrim Says:

Yeah okay. I just pasted in a chapter of Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five, and it came back:

“You write like Raymond Chandler.”

I think we have an updated magic 8 ball here, basically.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:00 pm

66 YAFB Says:

@John Cain:

Spoilsport.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:03 pm

67 Steele Says:

I put a fragment of a story of mine and received Arthur C. Clarke. I just thought it was interesting because I haven’t seen anyone else receive that yet.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:05 pm

68 General Stuck Says:

@John Cain:

and why everyone in the blogosphere seems to write like a famous author and not, say, a five year old.

Oh yea, Mr. Know-it-All. now you gonna tell us the Easter Bunny isn’t real? Fuddy dud!

July 14th, 2010 at 7:05 pm

69 Bill E Pilgrim Says:

@John Cain: Dan Brown writes like a five-year-old, and he’s a famous author.

More common than you might think.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:07 pm

70 Hart Williams Says:

I don’t know how much credibility I can cede this parlor game.

I just went back over a week’s worth of blogs, and posted nice big chunks of prose. Thus far I write like

William Gibson
Edgar Allan Poe
H.P Lovecraft
James Joyce

I’m not THAT big a chameleon.

Probably more useful to go to the Post Modernist Generator and whip up some REAL garbledy-gook. :-)

Hmmm. Wonder who THEY write like?

July 14th, 2010 at 7:21 pm

71 IrishGirl Says:

I put in a blog post and was told: David Foster Wallace. Accurate or not, I’ll take that compliment and run with it.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:22 pm

72 suzanne Says:

Awww. Apparently I write like David Foster Wallace.

***sniffle***

July 14th, 2010 at 7:22 pm

73 Steve Says:

I tried excerpts from two different legal briefs I wrote today and got David Foster Wallace both times.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:23 pm

74 Comrade Mary Says:

So trying out this analyzer is a supposedly fun thing you’ll never do again?

July 14th, 2010 at 7:25 pm

75 LT Says:

David Foster Wallace. Never read him.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:26 pm

76 suzanne Says:

After repeated plays with this, with my graduate thesis, Facebook posts, and my manifestos, I have come back as writing like David Foster Wallace every time except for one (Dickens).

Fewer footnotes, though, I SWEAR.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:31 pm

77 Tom Hilton Says:

@LT: Me too, except I have read him (Infinite Jest, a couple times).

July 14th, 2010 at 7:31 pm

78 LT Says:

Looks like they’re on a DFWallace kick right now.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:32 pm

79 another county heard from Says:
I tried submitting several things, and got:
- Stephen King
- David Foster Wallace
- Dan Brown
Either I’m more inconsistent than I think, or this thing is BS.

Though for the record, I hope it’s wrong about Dan Brown.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:32 pm

80 LT Says:

Just put in E. E. Cummings’ “anyone lived in a pretty how town”—David Foster Wallace.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:33 pm

81 J Price Vincenz Says:

Vonnegut for me, too.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:34 pm

82 Karen in GA Says:

David Foster Wallace, of course. And Harry Harrison, also too.

Soylent Green is people!

July 14th, 2010 at 7:37 pm

83 Comrade Mary Says:

OFFS. They’re giving away DFW like he’s Halloween candy and I get Isaac “smart guy but no prose stylist” Asimov? Not fair.

Could be worse. Could be Geddy Lee.

EDIT: And I just served up more DFW bait —THIS freaking comment—with a FOOTNOTE —and what do I get? Dan Mother Mary Magdalene-fucking Brown.

I quit the Internets.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:46 pm

84 Libby Says:

Sure it’s just a bogus meme to pass the time on a slow news day, so of course I pasted in a few posts. Got Steven King, Dan Brown and Vonnegut. Decided to quit with Vonnegut.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:52 pm

85 RedKitten Says:

I also got David Foster Wallace for most of my submissions, except for once when I got James Joyce and once when I got Margaret Atwood.

So it’s a fun parlour game—who cares if it means anything? If nothing else, it’s intrigued me enough to want to read some of Wallace’s work.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:53 pm

86 QuaintIrene Says:

I typed in a short bit about my local garden center. Stopped by to get some sweet corn, peaches and nice jersey tomatoes.
Was told I write like Margaret Atwood.

As Elmer Fudd would say, ‘vewwy intewesting’

July 14th, 2010 at 7:55 pm

87 Comrade Mary Says:

RedKitten, you may or may not have the time for Infinite Jest, but try A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again, a collection of his (relatively) short pieces. That Wiki page includes links to several PDFs of various essays.

July 14th, 2010 at 7:59 pm

88 k55f Says:

@b-psycho: “I had to look up who H.P. Lovecraft was”....
He, obviously, was the greatest horror writer of all time.
(And I’m not saying that just because I put in a cover letter for a job and got back that I write like H.P.L.)

I had to look up who psycho was….

July 14th, 2010 at 8:03 pm

89 Tara the antisocial social worker Says:

I got Dan Brown.

I will now add a large block of exposition to this post in order to provide obvious foreshadowing of what’s going to happen next, while completely ignoring the ticking bomb in the next room.

July 14th, 2010 at 8:05 pm

90 JGabriel Says:

I think John Cain is right: I Write Like isn’t doing any analysis at all, it’s just spitting out random writer’s names.

.

July 14th, 2010 at 8:21 pm

91 noncarborundum Says:

Lovecraft, Poe, Wallace (thrice) and Joyce.

Lovecraft?

July 14th, 2010 at 8:23 pm

92 expat Says:

I plugged in 5 paragraphs from the 2000 US Supreme Court decision in Gore v. Bush, selected more or less at random (a chunk starting at Section II-A, just to avoid too many case citations) – result: Dan Brown

I think it’s for real.

July 14th, 2010 at 8:30 pm

93 Thomas Says:

Um…is there something wrong with the link? It takes me to an Amazon.com page for Kurt Vonnegut’s books!

July 14th, 2010 at 8:33 pm

94 ellaesther Says:

@Thomas: The URL is iwl.me – find your own way, young Thomas!

July 14th, 2010 at 8:40 pm

95 ellaesther Says:

I had never heard of this before five minutes ago, and wheeee! Very fun.

I put in three very different (I thought) passages, and came up David Foster Wallace each time—which was both a compliment, I thought, and odd, because I’ve never read so much as a page of David Foster Wallace. (I know, I know. I’ll go out to the woodshed later).

But then I put in something that I wrote in a good mood about an evening in the backyard with a fire going in my new firebowl—and boom! I’m JK Rowling!

Take away: I should work more on maintaining a good mood. But it will apparently be very hard.

July 14th, 2010 at 8:43 pm

96 ellaesther Says:

@RedKitten: Me too! I now feel morally obligated to actually read him.

July 14th, 2010 at 8:44 pm

97 Kristine Says:

I write like Neil Gaiman, apparently.

I will sooo take it.

July 14th, 2010 at 8:46 pm

98 Phoenician in a time of Romans Says:

I did five posts of my own words from my defunct blog.

1 Mark Twain, 1 Margaret Atwood, 3 David Foster Wallaces.

Now I’m scared.

July 14th, 2010 at 8:49 pm

99 machine Says:

David Foster Wallace.

July 14th, 2010 at 8:57 pm

100 Jager Says:

@ellaesther:

I put in three different paragraphs from an e mail to my sister, The first two I got David Foster Wallace, the 3rd paragraph about our 4th of July party where I cooked for 18 was James Joyce…come to think of it the party was Joycean!

July 14th, 2010 at 9:00 pm

101 Mark S. Says:

I got two Lovecrafts, one Vonnegut, and one [gulp] Dan Fucking Brown! Jesus Christ, I don’t write that badly!

July 14th, 2010 at 9:00 pm

102 ellaesther Says:

@John Cain: No – really? And here I thought I really wrote like David Foster Wallace and/or JK Rowling.

My heart – broken!

July 14th, 2010 at 9:00 pm

103 ellaesther Says:

@Jager: I find it interesting that so many of the BJers appear to be getting Wallace…! Interesting, odd, completely meaningless. One of those, I suppose.

July 14th, 2010 at 9:01 pm

104 Mark S. Says:

@Mark S.:

Reading through the comments, it looks like this thing is bullshit.

[This comment was written like David Foster Wallace]

July 14th, 2010 at 9:07 pm

105 Joel Says:

I ran my paper submission and got David Foster Wallace. I don’t know how well that goes over in the journals…

July 14th, 2010 at 9:10 pm

106 David in NY Says:

OK, so somebody else’s legal brief got David Foster Wallace, while mine got Margaret Atwood and Dan Brown (and a SCOTUS amicus got Daniel Defoe). Should I be pleased by comparison or no? The aim here is clear, persuasive prose.

July 14th, 2010 at 9:24 pm

107 Felanius Kootea (formerly Salt and freshly ground black people) Says:

David Foster Wallace here…

July 14th, 2010 at 9:26 pm

108 C.S.Strowbridge Says:

Stephenie Meyer?

Fuck you.

Also got Chuck Palahniuk, David Foster Wallace, and Arthur Conan Doyle.

July 14th, 2010 at 9:31 pm

109 suzanne Says:

All this David Foster Wallace talk is making me very melancholy.

RIP, DFW.

July 14th, 2010 at 9:34 pm

110 Chad N Freude Says:

I, too, got David Foster Wallace. Does that mean that that a lot of us here are capable of sometimes brilliant, frequently entertaining, and often tedious writing? Or does it suggest a limited writer base or analysis algorithm for the computer (don’t forget that it’s a computer doing this) analysis? And how can anyone be compared to Wallace without writing a lot of footnotes?

July 14th, 2010 at 9:44 pm

111 Zoogz Says:

The very first thing I put in was a bit of a fanfic that I’d written, being a ten-year veteran.

Out spits “Stephenie Meyer”. And not only that, but I see that I got beat to it as well.

Talk about abject shame.

I stuck three blog posts through it as well. Two ended up as H.P. Lovecraft, the final as David Foster Wallace.

I still cannot bear the shame of the first analysis, though.

July 14th, 2010 at 9:46 pm

112 Morbo Says:

Neil Gaiman on the first try, then (ugh) Dan Brown on random sampling, but then I picked a piece that didn’t involve Templars and got David Foster Wallace.

July 14th, 2010 at 9:58 pm

113 hitchhiker Says:

Wait, is Dan Brown really considered a writer?

July 14th, 2010 at 9:59 pm

114 Twisted_Colour Says:

I put in a poem that I wrote about Garibaldi and got Mario Puzo. Is this racial profiling?

July 14th, 2010 at 10:11 pm

115 noncarborundum Says:

I copied & pasted everything on this page. In the aggregate, we all write like Arthur C. Clarke.

July 14th, 2010 at 10:26 pm

116 Ming Says:

David Foster Wallace, twice, and Isaac Asimov.

July 14th, 2010 at 10:46 pm

117 Chris Johnson Says:

It’s gonna be counting sentence lengths and things- looking at structural elements. I don’t know how deep it goes, but I have a funny story about this thing…

Back at the beginning of this year, I switched from trying to draw a daily comic to WRITING that story, which I’ve got about 100K words down now. I kicked it off with some colorful exposition, which I pasted into the web toy.

Says I write like J.D. Salinger.

Salinger lived about half an hour from me, to the north, and I never knew it. And right when I decided to switch over to novel form- he DIED.

Fucker obviously haunted me because I was the only writer handy who was as reclusive as he was…

July 14th, 2010 at 11:36 pm

118 handsmile Says:

Feeling puckish, I just submitted David Brooks’ latest NY Times column into the algorithmic maw.

It spit out: David Foster Wallace.

Were that magnificent writer still to be walking amongst us (1), I can’t imagine which David would be more horrified by this literary insta-analysis.

I dare say it might also puncture that quick tickle of pride some of us might have felt when our own writing was deemed to be Wallace-esque.

(1) Wyatt Mason, “Smarter than You Think,” The New York Review of Books, Vol. LVII, No. 12

July 14th, 2010 at 11:59 pm

119 mclaren Says:

According to this thing, I write like David Foster Wallace. Ridiculous. Wallace uses sentence fragments and obscure obnubilations replete with footnotes.[1]

[1] In some of his work. Footnotes appear mainly in his books, not his magazine articles.

July 15th, 2010 at 12:50 am

120 fucen tarmal Says:

it said i wrote like david foster wallace? i submitted nothing more than a rebuke of small government style “why should that be government’s job” garbage on a message board…

wow the less you try…the key to life.

July 15th, 2010 at 4:14 am

121 tworivers Says:

H.P. Lovecraft once, David Foster Wallace three times.

July 15th, 2010 at 6:42 am

122 Mustang Bobby Says:

Based on the opening lines of my novel-in-progress, I got Margaret Mitchell.

Based on a post I wrote last weekend, I got David Foster Wallace.

Both came to bad ends.

July 15th, 2010 at 7:21 am

123 wilfred Says:

Good fun. After reading a lot of the comments I first put a few paragraphs from my dissertation where I define and explain some Arabic terms, and got Dan Brown. Then I put a long paragraph where I used the words -vault, curdling, bastion, dark and clammy – and got Lovecraft.

I think I get it.

July 15th, 2010 at 7:34 am

124 Albatrossity Says:

Hilarious! I submitted three sections of a non-fiction piece that is out there waiting to be published. These three sections were three paragraphs each, and they appear consecutively in the work. Here are the results of that experiment.

#1 – Chuck Pahluniak (beats me, I never heard of him either)

#2 – Anne Rice

#3 – James Joyce

This may be the first time ever that Anne Rice and James Joyce have been mentioned together.

I don’t think that this analysis tool is ready for prime time…

July 15th, 2010 at 10:06 am

125 Paul in KY Says:

H.P. Lovecraft for me too!

interesting note: I did not use the word ‘eldritch’ in my submitted writing.

July 15th, 2010 at 11:23 am

126 ed drone Says:

James Joyce & David Foster Wallace (whoever he is—and yes, I checked, and still don’t know).

I tried some lyrics, and got James Joyce again. I tried a Kipling poem and got James Joyce. I tried the King James’ Bible and got James Joyce.

That last is a lie.

Ed

July 15th, 2010 at 1:11 pm

127 ed drone Says:

@Chris Johnson:
I entered your BJ comment and got that Wallace clown again.

Ed

July 15th, 2010 at 1:18 pm

128 Death Panel Truck Says:

I put in several chapters of my fabulous unfinished novel:

Chapter 1 – David Foster Wallace
Chapter 2 – Steven King
Chapter 3 – Steven King
Chapter 4 – David Foster Wallace
Chapter 5 – Chuck Palahniuk (who was born in the city I live in: Pasco, Washington)
Chapter 6 – David Foster Wallace
Chapter 7 – Steven King
Chapter 8 – David Foster Wallace
Chapter 9 – Charles Dickens.

Gotta say, that last one blows my mind.

July 15th, 2010 at 1:55 pm

129 licensed to kill time Says:

I put in three things I wrote.

The first was an email to family, it said I write like Dan Brown.

The second was a little tribute to Balloon Juice, it said I write like William Gibson.

The third was an email to my best friend, it said I write like David Foster Wallace.

The funniest is number one, because I self-censor heavily when writing to family, though I must admit it made my heart sink a little bit, being compared to Dan Brown.

July 15th, 2010 at 1:59 pm

130 twiffer Says:

4 different samples yielded 4 different results. poetry wound up interesting too. i got nabakov, joyce, atwood, brown, margert mitchell (probably the palm trees) and david foster wallace.

the site is a front for someone trying to sell you a book on how to submit proposals to publishers. i suppose it’s a step up from a vanity press, but i’d personally avoid giving them any more traffic.

...wait, they are trying to enlist you, amway style:

If you are interested in selling these eBooks on your own Web site, blog, or email list, you can Join our Affiliate Program! You will earn 50% of the retail price for each sale (excluding purchases you make yourself).

fuck’em. leeches. probably have a vanity arm as well.

July 15th, 2010 at 4:18 pm

131 ral Says:

No mention of Doc Smith??

July 17th, 2010 at 1:24 am

For Good Clean Fun

131 Responses to “For Good Clean Fun”

Recent Post

Categories

Archives

Authors

Google Search

Recent Comments

Premium Blogads

Support this site- Shop

Sitemeter

Blogroll

Blogs We Monitor And Mock As Needed

Contact

Balloon Juice Store

Standard Blogads

Meta