Keeping The Closet Door Shut
Because they’re a serious newspaper, the New York Times devotes a couple dozen paragraphs to the washboard abs of Aaron Schock (R-IL-18). One problem: he might be gay. How can the Grey Lady tiptoe around that issue?
As for his personal life, Mr. Schock is single and opposed to gay marriage, and he has told reporters that he is not gay. In the interview in his office, he mentioned a former girlfriend. He also said that while he is passionate about all issues, the social ones are “not what compelled me to run for office.”
The whole article is worth a read to see the Times describe the toenails, trunk and tail of the elephant in the room.
July 8, 2010 8:25 am
Posted in: DC Press Corpse
59 Comments
59 Responses
El Cid - July 8, 2010 | 8:32 am · Link
Hey
was this the one in Canada?
Keith G - July 8, 2010 | 8:35 am · Link
@El Cid: Alberta
4tehlulz - July 8, 2010 | 8:38 am · Link
Dude, your profile’s in the Fashion & Style section, your protestations of “I had sex once. WITH A GIRL” is not going to work.
Also, I would google to see if
Anne Laurie wrotethere is any ThunexSchock slash yet, but I’m afraid of the answer.Hunter Gathers - July 8, 2010 | 8:39 am · Link
The ‘Schock is gay’ thing has been all over the state since before he was elected. There is, however, no truth to the rumor that Meghan McCain made him that way.
Cat Lady - July 8, 2010 | 8:46 am · Link
I am not gay = gay.
I am against gay marriage = gay.
I had a girlfriend once = gay.
Washboard abs = gay
Liza Minnelli + Lady Gaga + Aaron Schock = GAY.
Jeesh. It’s OK buddy, just do it. You know you want to.
Hunter Gathers - July 8, 2010 | 8:48 am · Link
@Cat Lady:
He can’t, or he’ll lose his washroom key at the Heritage Foundation.
Cat Lady - July 8, 2010 | 8:52 am · Link
@Hunter Gathers:
If by “lose his washroom key” you mean find hot wide stance stall action, yeah.
Joe Bauers - July 8, 2010 | 9:04 am · Link
“I am passionate about all issues” is the new “I read all the newspapers”.
cleek - July 8, 2010 | 9:08 am · Link
@Joe Bauers:
or…
“I am passionate about all issues” is the new “I am aware of all internet traditions”.
hal - July 8, 2010 | 9:13 am · Link
Look folks, he used to have a girlfriend! You know, like Rock Hudson or Ricky Martin.
P.S. Has there ever been a profile of Shock that hasn’t involved his physical appearance? I don’t know, maybe one on his policies?
Jay in Oregon - July 8, 2010 | 9:14 am · Link
@Hunter Gathers:
True; you gotta keep it on the down low.
Ogami Itto - July 8, 2010 | 9:19 am · Link
Definitely queerer than a three dollar bill. In fact, that oughta be his nickname—Three Dollar Bill. That his name is actually Aaron is really beside the point.
Hunter Gathers - July 8, 2010 | 9:20 am · Link
@hal:
He doesn’t have any. And there are enough ignorant crackers around Peoria for him to get away with it.
amorphous - July 8, 2010 | 9:26 am · Link
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if Graham came out. Seriously, what would happen to Graham, to DeMint, to the R delegation? I assume ol’ Lindsey would pull a McGreevey, but would there be any reevaluation amongst the anti-homo crusaders?
Keith G - July 8, 2010 | 9:26 am · Link
@Jay in Oregon: I drove through his district twice on my way elsewhere. Corn and soybean fields forever; small towns scattered a few miles apart.
Probably not a hotbed of progressiveness, so it may be the case that, if gay, Aaron Schock is doing what he feels he must in order to do the job he wants to do.
If so, it’s a shame that his convictions are lacking common sense and courage.
John PM - July 8, 2010 | 9:26 am · Link
I had never heard the rumors that he is gay, although the abs should have been a giveaway. I will need to ask my wife for confirmation; he gaydar is flawless.
Morbo - July 8, 2010 | 9:29 am · Link
@Hunter Gathers: Sure he does: Signs cost too much! Two things, Aaron: 1) Coburn was already all over that shit like whining about things the Obama administration does is his job, and 2) you’re overstating how much they cost by about 3233%.
Hunter Gathers - July 8, 2010 | 9:30 am · Link
@amorphous:
That would never, ever happen. He’d lose his committee chairmanships, which is the only thing that drives GOPer Senators. Well, that and lynching Obama.
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford - July 8, 2010 | 9:30 am · Link
A 29-year-old who listens to Huey Lewis?
I can’t think of Huey Lewis without thinking about the Hip To Be Square scene in American Psycho.
Persia - July 8, 2010 | 9:37 am · Link
@J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford: That’s what I think every time Huey Lewis comes up now.
Paris - July 8, 2010 | 9:37 am · Link
Does he drive a truck?
stuckinred - July 8, 2010 | 9:40 am · Link
@J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford: Walkin on a Thin Line is my fav. “Don’t you know me I’m the boy next door”!
Jim C - July 8, 2010 | 9:43 am · Link
@J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford:
I wish that was what I thought of.
Instead, I think of the clip I once (once!) saw of Huey Lewis & The News joined onstage by Chris Berman for a bellowed rendition of Jacob’s Ladder. You just can’t un-see a thing like that.
Anya - July 8, 2010 | 9:46 am · Link
Sorry for the OT but Did any of you see Cenk Uygar argue that Iran Contra was a liberal policy, in his, who is more conservative Barack Obama or Ronald Reagan diary at GOS? I kid you not.
amorphous - July 8, 2010 | 9:54 am · Link
@Hunter Gathers: Yes, which is why he would only do the come-out-and-resign move.
Ash Can - July 8, 2010 | 9:55 am · Link
A few short lines into the linked story, we find this gem:
This article made me wonder if the Times, or at least Ashley Parker, isn’t actually laughing at this guy. I mean, the column puts him in a pink-checked shirt right off the bat. It’s got “not gay LOL!” scribbled all over it.
wasabi gasp - July 8, 2010 | 10:01 am · Link
If keeping the closet door shut is of concern, Aaron may also want to consider applying some glue and nails to his belt drawer.
WereBear - July 8, 2010 | 10:04 am · Link
This is another in the ongoing tragedies brought to you by the GOP. He’s facing a Larry Craig future. We can debate whether he deserves it or not. We know he, as yet, does not have the courage to avoid it.
But remember that he probably grew up in a culture that did not accept the possibility. And so, perhaps he cannot, either.
Chad N Freude - July 8, 2010 | 10:06 am · Link
First, there’s the lede.
Then there’s
So we’re going to see a presidential competition out of Zoolander or Blades of Glory?
Please tell me this is satire.
Chad N Freude - July 8, 2010 | 10:12 am · Link
I’ll bet it is. And I’ll bet that he knows a lot about good supporters.
Persia - July 8, 2010 | 10:20 am · Link
@WereBear: Yeah. I mean, I laugh at the article but there’s a real, profound sadness to this.
Persia - July 8, 2010 | 10:20 am · Link
@Chad N Freude: We need a walk-off!
QuaintIrene - July 8, 2010 | 10:27 am · Link
Give him some credit. At least he didn’t marry some poor clueless woman as political shield.
BC - July 8, 2010 | 10:28 am · Link
Naw, Aaron can’t be gay, because a gay guy would have better taste!
Pancake - July 8, 2010 | 10:29 am · Link
In a somewhat similar vein, they’re supposed to be working on an “expose” of Florida governor Charlie Crist, and how he was a less than fully discrete flaming queen up ‘til his decision to go for an even higher office a few years ago; they say that he even got married to a real beard…I mean woman.
Kristine - July 8, 2010 | 10:29 am · Link
Yanno, I think rhapsodizing about the physical attractiveness of leaders is simply an aspect of authoritarian culture. Further proof that they are favored to lead. That members of the press fall into that trap tells me more about their underlying sympathies than perhaps they would like to admit.
I recall a photo spread of Obama’s WH staff that appeared after the election—there were/are some damned good-looking people working for BHO, but they’re out of the public eye, and they’re Dems, so they don’t count.
Lee - July 8, 2010 | 10:37 am · Link
The New Gay Stereotype
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford - July 8, 2010 | 10:39 am · Link
@Persia:
It’s that damn Hansel! He’s so hot right now!
Ash Can - July 8, 2010 | 10:45 am · Link
@QuaintIrene: In the more serious, inevitable-trainwreck vein of this story, there’s no reason to believe this won’t eventually happen. And it would be doubly awful if it happened while Schock was still in the glamorous rising-star stage of his career, because then he and his wife would be saddled with the whole celebrity-wedding/marriage hullabaloo. That’s a situation I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Linda Featheringill - July 8, 2010 | 10:46 am · Link
And what are the sexual preferences of the writer of that piece in the NYT?
Maybe he told more about himself than the candidate.
Tattoosydney - July 8, 2010 | 10:50 am · Link
@Ash Can:
@BC:
I disagree with this – thousands of vendors of mesh t-shirts, rainbow socks and tight pink underwear (nsfw), not to mention Abercrombie and Fitch, rely almost exclusively on the buying power of gay men who wouldn’t know taste if it came up and licked them.
That little pink and aqua ensemble that Schock has on is gayety gay gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous.
ETA: As for the Congressman himself, I’d fuck him, but I’d be angry while I did it.
JasonF - July 8, 2010 | 10:52 am · Link
Come on, guys! He totally had a girlfriend while he was away over the summer! She’s from Canada—you wouldn’t know her.
Persia - July 8, 2010 | 10:56 am · Link
@JasonF: Her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancouver…
kommrade reproductive vigor - July 8, 2010 | 10:56 am · Link
You know what? If he is, I’ll enjoy laffing when he tumbles out of a bathroom stall. Until then, don’t care if he’s against equal marriage because he’s a str8 creep or a gay one.
And that article gave me dry heaves.
Particularly:
I mean, Jesus. Schock looks like he’s 12, Thune looks like he wants to be Boehner when he grows up and Brown is just above meh. If the every member of the GOP looked like a soggy turd some daft git would still waste 1,000 words on GOP hotties.
Paul in KY - July 8, 2010 | 11:12 am · Link
@BC: That’s a good point!
Although, TatooSydney had a good rebuttal, IMO.
phoebes-in-santa fe - July 8, 2010 | 11:25 am · Link
Maybe Aaron Schock is doing the dirty with IL-10 Mark Kirk. I used to live in his district and it was an open secret Kirk was gay – even though he got “married”.
Pangloss - July 8, 2010 | 11:32 am · Link
That NYT article is priceless—- wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Or should I say “fabulous?” You can practically hear the gaydar pinging.
Alex S. - July 8, 2010 | 12:02 pm · Link
I think the author really wants to tell us that Schock is indeed GAY!
Jacquie - July 8, 2010 | 12:08 pm · Link
I stopped dead when I got to “he has told reporters that he is not gay.” Did he just bring that up unsolicited, or was it in response to reporters’ specific questions? ‘Cause there’s nothing gayer than peppering your sentences with “And by the way, I’m not gay.”
amorphous - July 8, 2010 | 12:31 pm · Link
Is this really where we are as a country?
bobbo - July 8, 2010 | 12:37 pm · Link
This is a dead giveaway. “Brown Eyed Girl” is the single straightest song ever written. Ergo Schock is teh gay. In fairness though, gotta say the big fag is pretty hot.
Bella Q - July 8, 2010 | 12:55 pm · Link
But wouldn’t Aaron Shock and Andre Bauer make such a lovely conservative couple? Also, too, perhaps Bauer could provide Shock with some casual fashion advice.
HyperIon - July 8, 2010 | 1:07 pm · Link
This puts me in mind of a recent Frontline about the very secret institution of homosexuality in Afghanistan and Pakistan. It centered around young boys dancing for adult men, who then have sex with the boys.
Essentially all the adult men deny the “having sex” part. Oh, no, that could never happen! Only one guy actually admitted to it. He said that most guys never tell anyone about it but that his wife was OK with him screwing boys. He was rather matter-of-fact about the whole thing. This struck me as a very rational POV that could work for the adults (wife and husband) but the boys, of course, are another matter. Which was the main point of the documentary.
Pangloss - July 8, 2010 | 1:13 pm · Link
@amorphous: The GOP has a thin bench.
ArchPundit - July 8, 2010 | 1:19 pm · Link
@Hunter Gathers:
He made an absolutely nutball manifesto of a speech when he announced his candidacy and after being ridiculed for being that stupid and weird, he has smartly avoided any sort of serious policy discussion.
ArchPundit - July 8, 2010 | 1:23 pm · Link
@phoebes-in-santa fe:
They are roommates. Seriously.
Keith - July 8, 2010 | 1:32 pm · Link
Holy crap! That picture of him in the pink-checkered shirt, white jeans, and turquoise belt is hee-larious! (and the very first comment on Gawker that scores his gayness is possibly even funnier)
JMC_in_the_ATL - July 8, 2010 | 1:43 pm · Link
He later publicly disassociated himself from the turquoise belt.
Seriously.
I’d find the link on towleroad, but I’m lazy.
Bex - July 8, 2010 | 3:26 pm · Link
He’s my congressman. I don’t care if(!) he’s gay. I care that he’s a Republican… and that this district won’t elect anything else. So greetings from the 18th, home of the paranoid wingnuts and Palin acolytes.