Two Lane crackpot
It was inevitable that Villagers would feel conflicted about teabaggers. On the one hand, teatards say mean things about Lindsey Graham and plan to gut civil rights, on the other, they frequent the Applebee’s salad bar and plan to gut social security.
So this pair of Charles Lane columns don’t come as much of a surprise. First, we have the emerging meme “I may not be a teabagger myself, but at least they’re trying to rein in the deficit, so yay for Rand Paul.” Then “whoa, I’ve said enough crazy shit about slavery myself, maybe I ought to distance myself from this guy”.
If teatard candidates do well in November, the Village will praise them as fiscally conservative patriots with the guts to take on the high spenders in Washington. If they do poorly, the Village will condemn them as radicals who lack the proper respect for Lindsey Graham’s fee-fees.
May 21, 2010 2:48 pm
Posted in: Burkean bells, Good News For Conservatives, Media
44 Comments
44 Responses
licensed to kill time - May 21, 2010 | 2:53 pm · Link
Did you mean to say Applebeer’s salad bar? ‘Cause it’s funny.
beltane - May 21, 2010 | 2:53 pm · Link
I really hope there is something other than the Village that can protect us from fascism because they are clearly not up to the job. Imagine how this crowd would cover the kind of creeping evil that took place in Germany during the ‘30s. They are useless and untrustworthy.
DougJ - May 21, 2010 | 2:55 pm · Link
@licensed to kill time:
No, it was a typo.
DougJ - May 21, 2010 | 2:55 pm · Link
@beltane:
Indeed, “we may not approve of all of Hitler’s policies, but real Germans love him and at least he has a plan for German’s economy.”
Gregory - May 21, 2010 | 2:56 pm · Link
And then the Village will ignore the fact that the teatard candidates, like generations of their fellow Republicans before them, do fuck-all to actually lower federal spending.
danimal - May 21, 2010 | 3:02 pm · Link
@Gregory: Wanting to reduce federal spending is what’s important. Wanting to reduce federal spending is akin to wanting to live in a colorblind society (or wanting to eliminate abortion). No actual action is necessary, and is usually discouraged.
El Cid - May 21, 2010 | 3:03 pm · Link
Remember, caring about the debt and the deficit exclusively means a willingness to cut social spending [and moves to privatize public resources], and not a concentration on defense spending, and it also completely ignores the revenue side.
So, endorsing the Bush Jr. tax cuts for the ultra-rich doesn’t undercut someone’s role as a ‘deficit hawk’ or debt patriot, but going along with the Pete Peterson crowd mythmaking about ‘inflation’ when there is none so that billionaire can get his lifelong goal of making old people eat cat food makes one a Good Rational Budget Balancer.
cyntax - May 21, 2010 | 3:03 pm · Link
@beltane:
Hell, that’s being too kind. I’m imagining how they’d cover Hitler’s invasion of Poland: “In a bold move to strengthen freemarkets and against protectionist policies, Germany tendered a bid to take over Poland’s military defense, freeing up the ailing nation’s budget to be spent on work-centers.”
Bill E Pilgrim - May 21, 2010 | 3:03 pm · Link
I liked Charles Lane better when he was Peter Sarsgaard.
geg6 - May 21, 2010 | 3:06 pm · Link
But they aren’t racists!
http://digbysblog.blogspot.com.....orite.html
Midnight Marauder - May 21, 2010 | 3:08 pm · Link
@Bill E Pilgrim:
For.The.Win.
Shattered Glass is a very under-appreciated film.
matt - May 21, 2010 | 3:18 pm · Link
@Bill E Pilgrim:
we got to see Hayden Christensen crap up the screen pre starwars with his performance.
freelancer - May 21, 2010 | 3:20 pm · Link
“Do you have any idea how much shit we are about to eat?!”
Why, yes chuck, we’ve looked into the future and we’ve seen your columns.
Michael - May 21, 2010 | 3:22 pm · Link
None of these guys are fit to clean William Shirer’s jockstrap.
The Moar You Know - May 21, 2010 | 3:23 pm · Link
@beltane: Pretty much exactly the same way they cover things now, I would assume.
jl - May 21, 2010 | 3:24 pm · Link
I guess add Charles Lane to columnists you should ignore on economics. Along with Tom Friedman, and Robert (no relation to the late Paul) Samuelson, and David Brooks.
Regarding the first link, let me get this straight.
Lane touts Paul’s proposal for gradually increasing the retirement age to 70 as a solution to fake social security problem (fake, relative to our other budget problems). Then touts Paul for making daring proposals the mainstream won’t.
But gradual increase in the retirement age is one of the most common mainstream proposals.
Then Lane ignores Paul’s rampant hypocrisy on agricultural subsidies (against) and cuts to doctor pay for Medicare services (against). And Lane ignores the fact that while most agricultural subsidies are bad policy, they are peanuts, but increases in Medicare spending is one of the most dire threats to the federal budget.
What a ridiculous column. I usually attribute such obvious nonsense to very bad hangovers from too many DC Village parties. I can think of no plan or policy that could explain it. Unless the guy simply does not know much of anything.
zzyzx - May 21, 2010 | 3:24 pm · Link
Oh my god, this comment in the second article that’s supposed to explain why private companies should be allowed to exclude African Americans says, “The case in point being smoking and how smokers are discriminated at because others don’t want to be inconvenienced.”
So this guy thinks it’s OK for towns to be white only but also thinks that he has a right to pollute the air for other people.
Bill E Pilgrim - May 21, 2010 | 3:25 pm · Link
@matt: I know I actually really don’t like that actor but I did like that film. He overdid it completely and his strong NY accent seemed to come from entirely the wrong social stratum for that character, but the whiny petulant thing at least fit him. The problem is that when he plays anyone who isn’t supposed to be whiny and heavily neurotic it works even less than that did.
Politically Lost - May 21, 2010 | 3:27 pm · Link
The title is a fantastic reference to one of the greatest (weirdest) drag racing movies of all time.
Two Lane Black Top
Brian Wilson, James Taylor (yes that James Taylor) and Warren Oats.
Get it on netflix, you’ll love it.
EDIT: I screwed up the link. Search for Two Lane Black Top and check it out.
jrg - May 21, 2010 | 3:28 pm · Link
Did I miss something?
Uli Kunkel - May 21, 2010 | 3:28 pm · Link
This might smack of Baby Trig pearl-clutching, but attaching “-tard” to stuff is probably best in really, really small doses.
Splitting Image - May 21, 2010 | 3:29 pm · Link
What do you mean “imagine”? Pat Buchanan has written extensively about how the rise of the Nazis was the fault of Winston Churchill.
The 70th anniversary of invading Poland, no less
Mark S. - May 21, 2010 | 3:31 pm · Link
I don’t know, I think Rand Paul might be a turning point. Dissing the Civil Rights Act is a bridge too far for most Villagers.
jl - May 21, 2010 | 3:31 pm · Link
@jrg: yes, that real Americans gut social security with a bass knife. That is the new freedom fries position.
DougJ - May 21, 2010 | 3:31 pm · Link
@jrg:
The Pauls hate all federal entitlements.
freelancer - May 21, 2010 | 3:38 pm · Link
coughMedicarecough.
If Paul owned a grocery store, instead of being a doctor, and had customers who bought T-bones with welfare checks and had Seniors signing over their Social Security checks to pay for mops, weed killer, and catfood, he would be talking about gutting Medicare and protecting Social Security and the safety net.
jl - May 21, 2010 | 3:39 pm · Link
@DougJ: Except for Medicare payments for the medical services the Pauls provide.
In true libertarian fashion, there will be convoluted but mysteriously and opaquely airtight hyperlogical QED for it, I am sure.
jrg - May 21, 2010 | 3:39 pm · Link
@DougJ:
Ok, socially conservative: against gay marriage and freedom of choice, and they plan on gutting Social Security*?
Just what demographic are they shooting for?
*Edit: I typed medicare by mistake the first time.
Mark S. - May 21, 2010 | 3:39 pm · Link
The Pauls also hate all Internet traditions.
DougJ - May 21, 2010 | 3:39 pm · Link
@freelancer:
Except those that pay out to themselves.
djork - May 21, 2010 | 3:41 pm · Link
Two Lane Black Top
Brian Wilson, James Taylor (yes that James Taylor) and Warren Oats.
Get it on netflix, you’ll love it.
EDIT: I screwed up the link. Search for Two Lane Black Top and check it out.
Hate to be that guy, but I’m such a Beach Boys nerd…
It’s Dennis Wilson in this flick, not Brian.
Linda Featheringill - May 21, 2010 | 3:41 pm · Link
@Splitting Image:
Oh dear. Are you saying that Pat Buchanan thinks that Winston Churchill was too liberal? Oh my goodness. Winnie was quite right wing. He did not promote destruction of people who were different. But still, he populated a point on the continuum that was definitely towards the right.
Does Pat no know his history? I think he knows. Is Pat a flaming fascist? Dunno.
dj spellchecka - May 21, 2010 | 3:47 pm · Link
on the subject of civil rights, race relations and the south,
this just came to my attention…..
some changes to social studies textbooks in texas proposed by conservatives include: american “imperialism” would be changed to “expansionism,” all references to “capitalism” have been replaced with “free enterprise,” and the slave trade would be renamed the “atlantic triangular trade.”
http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/E.....ular-trade
Derek - May 21, 2010 | 3:54 pm · Link
Oh, they were trading Atlantic triangles? Interesting!
Politically Lost - May 21, 2010 | 3:56 pm · Link
@djork:
How could I have screwed that up?
Anyway, love the flick.
J. Michael Neal - May 21, 2010 | 4:01 pm · Link
@Linda Featheringill:
No, just that he was insufficiently pro-Nazi.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ - May 21, 2010 | 4:24 pm · Link
@DougJ:
Given his stance on repealing ADA, apparently he also hates the troops, or at least the ones who gave up the use of one (or more) of their limbs in defense of our country. When disabled vets in wheelchairs start showing up asking Dr Paul why he doesn’t think they’ve earned the right to have access to buildings above the 2nd floor or to usable restrooms, per the ADA, things might get interesting. Who’s spitting on the troops now, Dr. Paul?
Mr Furious - May 21, 2010 | 4:41 pm · Link
@geg6: That Digby link is something to behold. How the fuck did the party let this guy in the door? Did no one do oppo or background research on this guy? Even Palin travels light compared to the baggage Paul brings aboard.
arguingwithsignposts - May 21, 2010 | 4:43 pm · Link
@cyntax:
Eerie, huh?
geg6 - May 21, 2010 | 4:56 pm · Link
@Mr Furious:
Pretty amazing, isn’t it?
This shit needs a LOT more dissemination. A LOT LOT more.
maus - May 21, 2010 | 5:58 pm · Link
What on earth is a “fee-fee” and why should Lindsay Grahms’ be protected?
Bill Murray - May 21, 2010 | 6:04 pm · Link
@arguingwithsignposts: wouldn’t it be more like
Sources are reporting that German troops, responding to Polish incursions into the Reich at Gleiwitz and the bombing of the train station at Tarnow, have crossed the border and are moving to protect German citizens within the territory of Poland. German fuehrer Adolf Hitler had previously warned Poland concerning their “attacks on the fatherland” and indicated that the Poles would be taught a lesson for their hubris.
The Polish government denies attacking Germany and has denounced the German attacks as rank imperialism.
We report, you decide.
Midnight Marauder - May 21, 2010 | 6:10 pm · Link
@maus:
“Fee-fees” are what Very Serious People have, and they must be coddled and protected at all costs. Normies (note: regular, average citizens) have what are referred to as “feelings.”
maus - May 21, 2010 | 11:48 pm · Link
@Midnight Marauder: Ah, thank you sir. I am always intrigued to know the manner in which the Very Serious are broken in the head.