This, via Sadly No, is sheer genius:
Palin’s view of nuclear weapons was shaped by her stint as the commander in chief of the Alaskan National Guard, our first line of defense against Soviet nuclear weapons. Obama has held his same views since he was a stoner college student and has showed no signs of maturing.
Which of the two would you trust?
That’s Baghdad Bob, the Confederate Yankee, bringing the funny. Is it possible that all of these blogs we’ve been reading and laughing at are all elaborate spoofs, and the joke is on us?
Comrade javafascist
I do not think nuclear weapons should ever be in the hands of someone that habitually says “you betcha.” And someone needs to break it to the Wankee that he’s still not getting any from Palin.
I also decline your bet sir. Also.
jeffreyw
I know! Call on me!
r€nato
TIDOS Yankee thinks the governor of Alaska has the launch codes?
liberal
“Confederate Yankee” is really TIDOS Yankee.
…heh, #3 beat me to it.
Mike
How come so many right wing blogs have those cheesy spontaneously generated adlinks? In the actual confederateyankee post, the phrase ‘college student’ links to this parasitic socialist outfit:
http://www.governmentgrantapproval.com/?src=mar&rid=14824
mcd410x
Wouldn’t the shortest distance between Moscow and the U.S. be over the North Pole and over Canada?
Well, it would be if THE WORLD WERE A SPHERE. Thank goodness, it isn’t. And thank goodness for Alaska.
Mnemosyne
So did they hire Terry Gilliam to create that ad for them?
Comrade Dread
That is awesome. That rivals some of the best stuff from Jon Swift back in the day.
Wow, we’ve got to be reaching the wingularity soon.
Mnemosyne
OT, but someone might want to do a quick read-over of the rotating taglines. Apparently “feedom” isn’t free.
Anton Sirius
Did he really say Soviet? I mean, I guess that’s accurate in the sense that most of them were built back when the USSR still existed, and might even still have a hammer and sickle painted on the fuselage, but I think most of us who didn’t mistake Hot Tub Time Machine for a documentary would refer to them as Russian nukes nowadays.
r€nato
..and the (defunct) Soviet Union would have delivered those weapons by rowboat across the Bering Strait…
p.a.
Yes- those millions of mouth-breathers who pass for the Republican base are actually undercover liberals seeking to discredit conservatism, except there are so many of them in the conspiracy there are apparently no real conservatives. So why discredit a non-existent movement? Stoopid lieberals! There are actually only 6 real conservatives left in America- 5 near mummified octogenarian descendants of Joseph Schumpeter and Ayn Rand, and Andy Sullivan.
Ash Can
@ Mnemosyne: It’s s’posed to be spelled like that. The teabaggers told us themselves.
As for the RW bloggers being one big elaborate spoof, sure, I’m down with that, as long as no one actually takes them seriously, and votes accordingly.
freelancer
@Mnemosyne:
That one’s on purpose:
http://thegreatamericandesert.com/2010/03/31/with-a-rebel-yell-she-cried-more-more-more/
The Grand Panjandrum
That “don’t bogart that joint” crack almost knocked me out of my chair with laughter. That is Colbert good.
Short Bus Bully
Snark really isn’t needed on that one is it?
Liz
@r€nato:
oh perfect. I am picturing a George Washington crossing the Delaware kinda vibe.
cleek
TIDOSY really is a shameless hack. almost Ericksonian in his bootlickery.
i wonder if he’s aiming to snag himself a cushy MSM pundit spot somewhere… apparently there’s a market for GOP cheerleaders these days.
Jeremy
We can only hope so.
David in NY
Hmm. Never thought of the Alaskan National Guard quite that way.
EDIT:That’s from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/08/31/alaska-national-guard-gen_n_122860.html, emphasis supplied.
Ash
But seriously though, wasn’t it basically a given that if Russia was gonna nuke us, they wouldn’t give a fuck about Alaska and go through the Arctic Circle instead to get to the actual important places?
Noonan
Commander in chief of the Alaska national guard?
That deserves a slow clap for chutzpah.
dmsilev
Soviet, huh? It’s been about 20 or so years since the USSR imploded. Per Wikipedia, 20 years ago Sarah Palin was still a sportscaster, and hadn’t yet been elected to the Wasilla City Council.
If that article is to be believed, she and I share a birthday. Oh, the embarrassment.
R. Porrofatto
Laugh all you like, but what Palin said is true. When those “Soviet” missiles launch, members of the Alaska National Guard go outside and call in the locations of any flying warheads they see to the Pentagon — it’s a strategic part of the still unproven anti-missile system Bush deployed anyway at Fort Greely. In theory it works pretty well, provided the missiles fly on weekends or during a two week period in the summer.
Admiral_Komack
-I love this response:
“Sarah Palin knows more about nukes than the Commander n Chief because the Alaska National Guard is our first line of defense? Has anyone told the United States Air Force and the Regular Army that?”
“As an Army vet, in answer to your rhetorical question, I think I would stick with the guy who got through Harvard law and won the election, over the one who quit her job halfway through.”
Posted by: Repack Rider at April 9, 2010 09:27 AM
freelancer
@JC @ top:
You’re kind of on a kick, eh? Maybe we can convince some teahadists to sign up for some English as a Second Language classes.
jrg
S,N! is hilarious to me sometimes. This time, I just don’t get it.
In parody, isn’t there supposed to be a subtle difference between what you’re saying and what the idiot you’re mocking is saying?
Gregory
@dmsilev:
Yeah, but she had already seen Red Dawn, like, twenty times!
slag
I can’t believe it’s not sarcasm.
kay
@David in NY:
Palin’s whole career is based on demonstrable lies by her fans. I have not yet accepted this as “fair and balanced”, but media meekly submitted. She’s so mean! They’re scared of her.
Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt
They’re piling on over at Treasonous Bastard’s site. Here’s my contribution:
Mike E
@cleek:
It’s a kick down/kiss up world, until the assistance checks stop coming.
r€nato
@Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt:
funny you should mention that…
Read the rest of the story at the link; it’s hilarious. I’m surprised this guy didn’t put himself in the running for a Darwin award.
jibeaux
Why do I not know what TIDOS means?
cleek
@jibeaux:
TIDOS = Treason In Defense Of Slavery
Osprey
Sadly, this is the type of shit you start to believe after watching Red Dawn 4 times a day.
Seriously, if anybody has any good video editing skills, find a way to make a Palin sex tape-one with her blowing a Ronnie Raygun look-alike, and sell it on the internet. You’d make millions off of guys like the Confederate Wanker, and they’d all jerk-off so hard they’d all die of massive heart-attacks. Win-Win.
cleek
@Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt:
and i might have had a hand in getting Jesus to comment there.
SGEW
Andy Kaufman is the most powerful person in America, orchestrating the entire right wing from his arctic lair. The joke’s on everyone!
jibeaux
@cleek:
Danke.
dmsilev
@jibeaux: “Treason In Defense Of Slavery”. He calls himself “Confederate Yankee”, so some helpful folks decided to correct the nomenclature.
Which reminds me. I don’t know who coined the term, but we need to keep referring to Palin as “former half-term governor”.
cleek
@dmsilev:
i’m going with coined by Steve Benen, and promoted by TPM
dmsilev
@cleek: A quick Google picks up a Media Matters column from January using the phrase, roughly the same timeframe as when Benen started using it.
In any event, “former half-term governor” gets over 100,000 Google hits, so it’s clearly a popular phrase.
r€nato
in a race for ‘stupidest thing said in 2010’, between this and the guy in SF who thought Magic Jack phone calls were untraceable even by the FBI… I declare a draw.
To break the tie, I decree that TIDOS Yankee and Mr. Giusti must fight to the death. Preferably with that cool music from Star Trek whenever Kirk was having a fight to the death.
stuckinred
@R. Porrofatto: The North Vietnamese spotted US bombers by eyesight and called in the approach on a goddamn field phone. Of course, the genius SAC generals made our guys fly the same fucking route day after day.
r€nato
…this comes from a blog with the byline, “liberalism is a persistent vegetative state.”
Bnut
Best comment on the link:
WELL WHO LET ALL THE LIB-TARD’S THOUGH THE FRONT DOOR? MUST OF FORGOT TO LOCK IT
WELL ALL YOU LIB’S WHO HATE SARAH PAILIN ARE JUST LIKE THE ‘HIPSTER’S’ WHO HATE THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE. WELL MANY OF US AMERICAN’S REALIZE THAT SARAH PAILIN IS THE ONLY HOPE FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA, JUST AS INSANE CLOWN POSSE IS THE ONLY HOPE FOR THE FUTURE OF MUSIC.
E’NOUGH SAID
If ICP is the future of music, we are are screwed.
Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt
@r€nato: That guy is ALL KINDS of win.
This is exactly the kind of guy that no-carry laws are aimed at. Anybody who’s not law enforcement but feels the need to carry a gun around probably shouldn’t be allowed to carry a gun around.
Pasquinade
Confederate Yankee? As opposed to Confederate Yanker?
stuckinred
@r€nato: The ceiling? Nice, upside-down holster or was he carrying a slinged weapon?
r€nato
@Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt:
the kicker is that the Arizona Legislature – in the time it has left over from mortgaging state buildings and closing state parks – is busy ‘expanding’ gun rights. In Arizona, you now have the right to carry a firearm in a bar or in any private business unless the business posts a sign banning firearms on the premises.
The latest bill in the Leg would remove the need for conceal-and-carry permits (and the concomitant training required to get such a permit). Anybody in Arizona over 21 could carry a concealed weapon, period. The bill is now on Gov. Brewer’s desk.
What could possibly go wrong with that???
robertdsc
What a grotesque statement.
Pasquinade
* Name Bob Owens
* Location Raleigh, NC, USA
* Web http://confederateyankee.mu.nu/
* Bio Conservative political and military blogger with side interests in media bias and firearms.
http://twitter.com/confederateyank
Ash Can
@ Bnut: I wouldn’t be at all surprised if one of the jokers here left that comment.
Chyron HR
Oh… thank you!
Lee
Ooops wrong thread lol
p.a.
Going on the (shaky I know) premise that not all Republican officeholders at the national level are loons, what must they say to each other and think to themselves concerning the levels of crackpottery on display daily by ‘the base’? Who here knows enough about political history in the developed West to inform me on another major political movement to display this level of cynicism? Conservatives in Wiemar Germany when they made a coalition with you-know-who? (Godwin rule…)
Brachiator
@cleek:
Great word, bootlickery. Wingnut bootlickery. Oh, yeah!
As crazy as this shit is, it is consistent with a mythology that transforms Palin into a Republican Warrior Queen with even more military genius than her erstwhile running mate John McCain who, you know, was actually in the armed service.
les
Well, no wonder Say-rah quit last year. She’s apparently been governating since the 50’s, she must be plumb tuckered.
SRW1
@r€nato:
Don’t know, maybe he confused it with the lunch code? I mean, maybe he was in a caloric deficit when he wrote that! Maybe his Mom never told him not to
go shoppinghack a post on an empty belly?Liz
@Bnut:
They didn’t seriously post that-you made it up.
Please tell me you made it up.
TomG
I have to admit, guys, although as an anarchist/libertarian I don’t agree often with either conservatives OR liberals, the conservatives always lower the bar for sheer idiocy ! At least when I disagree with liberals I know they have thoughts in their heads. And I’m a lot more willing to listen to their point of view. With conservatives, I’m too busy shaking my head thinking “are they ALL THAT STUPID ?”
Brachiator
@p.a.:
I think that the GOP reached peak cynicism when they pushed that idiot child Dubya onto the American people, they guy who led us into a disastrous military in Iraq and oversaw a near total collapse of the financial system. While Palin would undeniably be worse, the example has already been set.
As for Weimar, as always, you can easily have a little fun if you just do the Wiki. Here is a nice bit of “where have we seen something like this before?” —
From 1930 to 1932, Brüning tried to reform the devastated state without a majority in Parliament, governing with the help of the President’s emergency decrees. During that time, the Great Depression reached its low point. In line with conservative economic theory that less government spending would spur economic growth, Brüning drastically cut state expenditures, including in the social sector. He expected and accepted that the economic crisis would, for a while, deteriorate before things would improve. Among others, the Reich completely halted all public grants to the obligatory unemployment insurance (which had been introduced only in 1927), which resulted in higher contributions by the workers and fewer benefits for the unemployed.
The bulk of German capitalists and land-owners originally supported the conservative experiment: not from any personal liking for Brüning, but believing the conservatives would best serve their interests. But as the mass of the working class and middle classes turned against Brüning, more of the great capitalists and landowners declared themselves in favour of his opponents – Hitler and Hugenberg. By late 1931, conservatism as a movement was dead, and the time was coming when Hindenburg and the Reichswehr would drop Brüning and come to terms with Hugenberg and Hitler. Hindenburg himself was no less a supporter of an anti-democratic counter-revolution represented by Hugenberg and Hitler.
L Boom
In related news … this isn’t terrorism.
From Wonkette:
A fellow from East Texas put DIY pipe bombs in a whole bunch of his neighbors’ mailboxes, which is a perfectly normal thing to do when you’re “disenchanted” with the government, but not specifically your neighbors. (They’re just the only ones around.)
Randy P
@Liz: “They” posted it, but I think the jury is still out on whether it’s serious.
It is no longer possible to tell the difference between satire of wingnuttery and actual wingnuttery, especially when any piece of satire, no matter how ridiculous, is likely to be picked up and repeated in all seriousness by actual wingnuts.
Kind of makes me think of something Scott Adams once wrote, with some dismay, about his “Dilbert” comic strip. No matter how preposterous an office situation/corporate policy he dreams up, somebody will write in and say “OMG that’s EXACTLY what it’s like where I work!”
SRW1
@Brachiator:
There’s an important aspect being left out: Bruening was absolutely hellbent to get the victors of WW I to reduce the volume of reparations Germany was supposed to pay according to the treaty of Versailles.
Bruening saw mass poverty was a means to demonstrate to the western powers that Germany was in no position to afford paying the reparations. If that meant atrophying the German economy, so be it.
Bruening was a lovely piece of serving his big industrialist masters.
KCinDC
Actual headline from Newsweek’s “The Gaggle”: “Obama Sasses Palin on Nuclear Policy”.
Sasses!? I’m trying to imagine a nonracist thought process that would result in the use of that word in that context. By what possible logic is a Fox News “analyst” and former half-term governor of Alaska in a position of authority over the president of the United States?
Calouste
@dmsilev:
Along those lines, I always refer to a certain political commentator as nazi-apologist Pat Buchanan.
Brachiator
@KCinDC:
There really isn’t one. But some of these people can’t help themselves. Obama’s presence, and his elevation to a position of authority, makes them reflexively grasp for racial putdowns.
Everybody knows that a semi-literate white woman with soccer mom common sense is superior to a Harvard Educated Muslim from Kenya. Also, too.
Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt
Apropos of nothing, that dipshit Palin is going on right now on this very subject in New Orleans. MSNBC is carrying it. The audience is cheering her on.
God damn, but there are a lot of stupid motherfuckers on the other side of the aisle.
Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt
It just occured to me–Owens’ post is exactly the kind of shallow uninformed crap logic that comes from a mind that can take a toy model of a Bradley Fighting Vehicle and a sandbox and determine from that combination that a real BFV operator is lying about the real thing.
Well that makes sense. Treasonous Bastard couldn’t hold Obama’s shoes as a thinker, and couldn’t hold Beauchamp’s shoes as a patriot.
Sirkowski
Sarah Palin studied The Art Of War.
You know, the movie with Wesley Snipes.
tc125231
@Jeremy: The answer, of course, is that there is no chance.
None whatever. Would that there were.
tc125231
@p.a.:
D. Aristophanes
@jrg:
We don’t always do parody at S,N … sometimes just pointing and laughing suffices.
Jerry 101
wow, that’s just stupid.
And, now I’m erasing a bit of a long tirade against the stupid.
I’ll leave you all with this.
(source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alaska_National_Guard )
LT
It’s fun to see Bob and Pablo go tag team over there. Kind of like a free viewing of Nacho Libre.
And how do soonergrunt and all you guys get to post over there? He banned me ages ago.
Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt
@LT: today is the first time I’ve posted over there. As far as Owens knows, that is. I’m sure he’ll ban me at some point, but he’s probably just sharp enough to realize that he’s being watched a little and if he bans all the people calling him out as a treasonous stupid fuckwit that he’ll only look like a petulant treasonous stupid fuckwit.
Svensker
These people are hopeless.
Uloborus
I feel weird saying this, because I think racism and sexism are merely mild background elements behind the driving force of clannish stupidity (how dare a DEMOCRAT win an election?!) that drives the Republican base…
…but do you think misogyny may be part of why Palin is so widely supported? She’s a ‘strong and attractive woman’. She’s not supposed to actually be smart or stick to anything, because you can’t hold her up to the standards you would a MAN. Saying dumb but passionately defiant things is the proper definition of female strength, right? And she’s actually kind of horse-faced, but hey, who cares what she *looks* like as long as she’s got a figure that’s kind of okay? It’s not like it matters once she’s passed a certain minimum threshold of appearance.
I know the latter kind of thinking is quite common, and the former at least still exists. It’s just a theory, but it does make me wonder.
Also, I’m sure they see her as a much better national defense icon. Bully thinking runs through these people everywhere. They want liberals to be ‘afraid’ of her, and are looking for any justification to say that’s true. They like it when their icons make liberals angry. They don’t demand a connection between those two phenomena and any useful result. They just want the visceral pleasure of it. Given that, they obviously want ‘Axis Of Evil’ and ‘Evil Empire’ speeches. Obama doesn’t swagger or threaten or push other countries around at all. If no one is ‘afraid’ of him, they must see him as weak, and that means the US is at the bottom of the world pecking order, right?
Midnight Marauder
@Svensker:
Of course they are. Hope is for dirty liberal America haters, remember?
LT
@Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt:
I honestly don’t think he’s that bright. He may be happy to just be getting comments. He got killed when his PJMedia welfare checks stopped coming in. (That’s why he has those tacky adlinks. Blech.)
Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt
@LT: Did he have to go to work, and if so, what the hell does he do that approaches the worth of a turd?
les
@Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt:
I thought he sold guns at WalMart. Maybe I’ve been duped; but I thought that was the source of his secondary name, Gun Counter Gomer.
Sour Kraut
She’s writing her own book on military strategy. It’s called “Spender’s Game.”
flyerhawk
Perhaps Bob simply watched this movie a few too many times when he was a whelp…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p36ZV3h8Jfs
Or maybe he thought it was a documentary?
Donald G
Oh, man, talk about a blast from the past. I remember during campaign season when commenters at wingnut blogs seriously tried to use “Palin was commander-in-chief of the Alaska National Guard” card as a selling point that she actually had foreign and defense policy expertise.
It was stupid then; it’s even more stupid now.
Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt
@flyerhawk: I remember that. It wasn’t bad for the genre. The fact that the genre was completely off base is another issue.
flyerhawk
I loved that movie when it came. Course I was 14. Even then, however, I realized how silly the premise of the film was. So the Soviets are going to invade Alaska and then march through the Northwest Territory to the Pacific Northwest?
Good luck with that, Rooskis!
Of course this film was one upped in silliness with the seminal wingnut film, Red Dawn.
LT
@Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt: Yeah, some kind of gun shop. I think he worked there even while with PJM. Don’t know which.
Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt
It looks like Treasonous Bastard has deleted and closed the comments to that posting. It’s his site, he can do that. Of course, having done so, he is pretty obviously a coward.
Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt
@Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt: further to my last, it seems that Treasonous Bastard has emulated his dream girl and quit.
I had to do that. If it was too obvious then somebody besides me should’ve thought of it by now.
McGeorge Bundy
I read it wrong and thought Baghdad’s Bob idiocy was snark from SadlyNo. Hilarious, I thought. And then…
ruemara
@Uloborus:
You know the way men fantasize that not only will the lesbians be hot, but they’ll totally want a man to be all manly while making man filling in their chick sammich?
This is Palin’s appeal. A modestly hawt chick who spouts things with passion and conviction that have no real basis in fact, but hey, she’s cute so she gets credibility. Anne Coulter doesn’t have the folksiness and the thin veneer of small town mom to blunt the stupid and the hatred. everyone’s fave half-term guv knows how to pretend that you too can join or date the pretty girls clique. She just has to tear down the damn country to get her fair share of it first.
Crusty Dem
@Whackjob Militia Leader soonergrunt:
He was getting absolutely destroyed. What a coward. He even removed the google cache… Wish I had a screenshot.
jake the snake
@Osprey:
I think Larry Flynt has already done something along those lines.
Pasquinade
Crusty Dem, I saved the whole page – up to 92 responses. It was still open when I got on the computer this morning.
Have no idea what to do with it….
Crusty Dem
Pasquinade, if you still have it, save it as a PDF (File, save page as, then select pdf) and email it to me at nexus underscore texus42122 at gmail.
Thanks a bunch!