Oh, the Humanity
I’m not sure if it is possible to take your own life by repeatedly slamming your testicles in a closing car door, but I would rather die that way by my own hand than spend one minute watching Matt Welch and Ann Althouse on Bloggingheads TV.
What sadist thought up that nastiness? Seriously. Why?
March 29, 2010 9:31 pm
Posted in: Clown Shoes, Going Galt, wine blogging, WTF?
35 Comments
35 Responses
General Egali Tarian Stuck - March 29, 2010 | 9:36 pm · Link
For laughs, I used to watch Ann Althouse on Bloggingheads teevee. Had to quit when my teeth started falling out.
beltane - March 29, 2010 | 9:36 pm · Link
That’s harsh. I’m afraid to even read the Sadly, No post let alone watch the real thing.
mr. whipple - March 29, 2010 | 9:41 pm · Link
Congressional lickers?
Leelee for Obama - March 29, 2010 | 9:42 pm · Link
John, that was a genius description of a really hideous method of suicide. Please write a modern novel using it? The protagonist needn’t die really, just the planning alone would be several chapters.
I will wait for Sadly to post about this as I have been a very good girl lately and deserve no punishment at all.
Mike Kay - March 29, 2010 | 9:43 pm · Link
@mr. whipple: Liquors
mr. whipple - March 29, 2010 | 9:44 pm · Link
@Mike Kay:
Ah. Thought Gannon was back.
Chad N Freude - March 29, 2010 | 9:45 pm · Link
@Leelee for Obama: It actually sounds like something Stieg Larsson might have written. Only instead of suicide it would have been an act of revenge.
JSD - March 29, 2010 | 9:45 pm · Link
I remember hearing some where that the Nazis killed men by beating their testicles until they died (and also filling women’s wombs with plaster of paris and letting it harden which somehow caused them to die). However, I was unable to find a link to this behavior, so take it with a grain of salt.
PaulW - March 29, 2010 | 9:45 pm · Link
We don’t need a Truth Commission in this country. We need a Sanity Commission.
Jim, Foolish Literalist - March 29, 2010 | 9:50 pm · Link
Who would watch that, when you could be watching Mike Allen interview that hunky Paul Ryan about his workout program?
(I’m just baiting DougJ, I admit it)
stickler - March 29, 2010 | 9:52 pm · Link
JSD:
Actually, the allegation includes the way Allied interrogators treated German POWs (SS especially) after war’s end. Hundreds of officers with non-fatal-but-still-yikes destroyed testicles. From repeated application of GI-issue boots.
Generally the Germans were less creative outside of the prison camps. Inside, well … Mengele.
But Althouse? Nobody would have sunk that low in 1943, not the Soviets, not the Germans, not the Japanese, and not us. Ye Gods man, have a sense of decency.
Brian J - March 29, 2010 | 9:54 pm · Link
@General Egali Tarian Stuck:
Back when I was thinking of what law schools to apply to, I was wondering what it’d be like to have Althouse or Glenn Reynolds as a professor. I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever read more than a few posts by either one of then, but I’m well aware of their reputations on our side of the blogosphere. I wonder if I would have gone in and discovered they aren’t as crazy as they appear on the Internet (assuming that’s even possible).
jl - March 29, 2010 | 9:54 pm · Link
Cole is a hard man, and I take him at his word. A man who risks Death By Tunch (which might be worse than Cole’s modest proposal) every damn day can say something like that with credibility.
I saw a pic, either on this blog or another, of that bloggerheads. Did Welch spend the whole time with his nose scrunched up against the camera, or did some dirty liberal photoshop the pic to make him look like a freak?
That is all I want to know about it.
Edit: bloggingheads, not bloggerheads. I only watched the thing once or twice and it put me to sleep, and can never remember the name.
Brian J - March 29, 2010 | 9:58 pm · Link
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
After watching that, part of me wants to die.
geg6 - March 29, 2010 | 10:02 pm · Link
Man, that thread at Sadly, No has the saddest, most pitiful troll whining his way through it, bravely defending Caribou Barbie from the libtard hordes. It really is the weakest trolling I’ve ever seen. Can we send BOB over there to show him how it’s done?
cmorenc - March 29, 2010 | 10:03 pm · Link
I already know I can withstand Glenn Beck and/or Sean Hannity on one of the five teevees in the YMCA workout room while I do my requisite 20 minutes on the stationary bike (caveat: mercifully, the sound’s off and to the extent I intermittently, casually follow along, it’s with the often hilarious misspellings of the close captioning). Even with the sound on, however I’d choose that over crushed testicles, which is one of the few things more terrifyingly painful than listening to Glenn Beck or Sean Hannity.
SiubhanDuinne - March 29, 2010 | 10:38 pm · Link
Oh, wow, did I almost just make a bloody fool of myself in front of y’all. Thank gods for Google is all I can say.
The Truffle - March 29, 2010 | 11:26 pm · Link
Why does Bloggingheads have so many libertarians?
Wile E. Quixote - March 30, 2010 | 1:01 am · Link
Hmmm, I don’t know, we should experiment by taking Sean Hannity and Ollie North out and repeatedly slam their testicles in a closing car door. Doing it to them to see what happens would give us valuable data points in our quest to find out what would happen if you did this to yourself, without actually, you know, have to do it to yourself, which would hurt.
Steve Finlay - March 30, 2010 | 2:25 am · Link
I think it could be worse, actually. Imagine replacing that Ann with the other Ann.
When you sent the other Ann up to Canada, we should have recognized it as the heinous act of unprovoked aggression that it was, invaded you, and burned your White House down again.
silentbeep - March 30, 2010 | 4:41 am · Link
Matt Welch with anybody else isn’t as bad as other people I’ve seen on bloggingheads. I give him credit for taking McCain to task. I don’t like Ann very much for allowing hatefilled homophobic trollery on her blog re: Sully and defending that same homophobic ranting of her commenters. However, with him and Althouse together? I’m sure they will bring out the absolute worst tendencies in each other. I looked at the topic list and couldn’t bring myself to watch it. My blood pressure can’t take it.
serge - March 30, 2010 | 6:51 am · Link
For the love of god, Mr Cole…stop. On reading this, my testicles retreated to an undisclosed location. Will I ever find them again?
On the brighter side, that may be the single-most funny thing I’ve read in a long time…
debbie - March 30, 2010 | 8:07 am · Link
Her marriage to Meade has really messed her up.
Remember November - March 30, 2010 | 11:24 am · Link
Anal Outhouse… there, fixed.
AllenS - March 30, 2010 | 11:35 am · Link
I’d pay good money to watch you slamming your testicles in a closing car door.
Matt Brown - March 30, 2010 | 1:32 pm · Link
And yet, you thought about it enough to blog about it. Yeah, you know how to get traffic, don’t you? You like that more than you dislike Althouse, because if you truly disliked her, you’d ignore her completely and wouldn’t mention her… at all. And yet, here you are…
Chuck - March 30, 2010 | 1:34 pm · Link
Reminds me of this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r41U_T7pQjQ
(just listen to the song, the video is lame)
master c - March 30, 2010 | 1:42 pm · Link
She [AA] would say she is contrarian…..and that she is not a Republican. But she has totally thrown in her lot with Tea Partiers,
Palin fans, and climate change deniers. Not to mention pro-lifers and
gun nuts, including Ted Nugent. I read the comments because people, like my dear old Dad, really believe that stuff.
zencornpop - March 30, 2010 | 2:05 pm · Link
Thanks for the link, I love Ann Althouse
!
Jim R. - March 30, 2010 | 4:33 pm · Link
Aahhhh, pubescent gutter humor matched with child-like, belligerent avoidance, that’s what keeps me coming back Mr. Cole. Keep up the good work!
Yojimbo - March 30, 2010 | 5:44 pm · Link
John, go for it. Seriously.
TB - March 31, 2010 | 12:08 am · Link
So, how many slams does it take before you actually connect with a testicle?
El Cid - March 31, 2010 | 2:21 am · Link
#31…Yojimbo? Really you? Where have you been hiding, dude?
Paco and a few others been wondering.
roy edroso - March 31, 2010 | 8:19 am · Link
Watch out, John, Althouse is remote con-trolling you.
Darrell - March 31, 2010 | 10:20 am · Link
You have testicles? Well, then, no, don’t slam them in a car door. But…really? You have testicles?