Anyone else watching this bizarre closing ceremony?
And apparently, Canada is the home of giant beavers. There are jokes a plenty to be made with that one.
This post is in: Open Threads
Anyone else watching this bizarre closing ceremony?
And apparently, Canada is the home of giant beavers. There are jokes a plenty to be made with that one.
Comments are closed.
Mike Kay
They’re so un-American.
I knew NAFTA was a mistake.
madmommy
This was so campy and over the top crazy. Love it! I want to go to Canada as soon as possible. Anyone willing to marry a 40-ish mom with two kids and no marketable job skills :)
Joshua Norton
Canada is the home of giant beavers.
Eat a beaver – save a tree.
(Well somebody had to say it.)
colleeniem
Chalk me up as loving it–especially the comedians. They know their strengths. I definitely can’t wait to visit again.
jeffreyw
It’s the moon that does it.
Comrade Mary
Somebody, please, please tell me what the cauldron joke was at the beginning. All the so-called funny moments have been massive FAIL so far.
And — Nickelback? Avril? God, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.
TR
It’s British Columbia. They’re not on acid.
freelancer
Stuck, where’s your mallet? I flipped across The Marriage Ref and need to old school lobotomize myself, post haste.
NBC fucking blows.
Brick Oven Bill
Recently I processed an astronaut-costume. Perhaps it was being sent to Dennis G.
NovShmozKaPop
It would be nice if Canada had a program to adopt Americans.
Mike Kay
John Waters must be the choreographer
gnomedad
KHAAAAAAAAANADA!!!!
madmommy
@Comrade Mary:
In the Opening Ceremonies one of the 4 arms of the cauldron would not rise up from the floor. So in the Closing, they made a joke of it and had the torch bearer that was left standing in the Opening light the torch. A nice way to acknowledge it and have some fun as well. Well played!
RedKitten
I got a kick out of it. The opening ceremonies were so serious and “cultural”. For the closing ceremonies, they just kind of went “Wheeee! Fuck it, everybody, let’s just go completely over the top!”
But they lost me when they brought out Nickelback and Avril. Bad call.
gnomedad
The only thing missing was Bob and Doug McKenzie.
colleeniem
I firmly believe, also, that we can never make fun of other nations’ choices for their ceremonies.
Does no one remember the pick up trucks that were brought out in the OPENING ceremonies in Atlanta?
(Insert scott brown quip here).
Linda Featheringill
Neil Young, who is actually a bit younger than I am, looks like the portrait of Dorian Gray. Not Dorian – the portrait.
mr. whipple
I was trying to tell everyone this during the opening ceremonies, and they were all like ‘oh, no…check out the whales and the pink canoe..this is deep.’
Comrade Mary
@madmommy: Ah! Not falling down funny, but sweet. Thanks!
madmommy
@RedKitten:
NBC cut away right after the great big every Canada stereotype ever extravaganza to show Seinfeld’s new show. I am happy that it ended that way so I didn’t have to suffer through Nickleback and Avril Levigne.
gnomedad
@Comrade Mary:
One of the arms failed to extend during the opening ceremonies. There was a long delay while they tried to fix it, to no avail.
Martin
@madmommy: Canada really is an awesome place. It’s my favorite place to visit, hands down. I’ve yet to make it to the northern territories, but I will some day.
But bring your iPod. The Canadian artist rules on radio make it a bit painful, as Comrade Mary has noted, but that aside – awesome place.
ploeg
@gnomedad:
Mute the TV, cue up “The Beerhunter” on the Great White North album, and follow the simple step-by-step instructions. After a couple of rounds, things will make much more sense.
Katie5
@ComradeMary The cauldron in the opening ceremonies was made of these 4 resin pillars. They rose out of the floor and then supported the central cauldron. Each of the 4 was lit by a different person and the 4 together lit the centre.
One of the 4 never rose from the floor.
BTW, the leader of the band Hedley was on Canadian Idol. He was considered so strange that the Idol corp. was seriously thinking of throwing him off. For one number he came out in a Ziggy Stardust one-piece leotard.
gnomedad
@madmommy:
Sorry, missed your reply to Comrade Mary.
madmommy
@gnomedad:
No worries, several people explained it as well :)
gnomedad
@RedKitten:
I loved it. Canada rocks. If someone tried this sort of self-parody in the USA (home of the Best Health Care System in the World), there’d probably be a special prosecutor appointed.
Katie5
I’m still enjoying the ceremonies, although it is acid flashback inducing. Here’s what you’re missing: cute kids dressed in graffitti’d clothing breakdancing all over the place. With K-OS.
I guess this is their shoutout to the East side of Vancouver.
alone in the dark
@Martin:
More painful than what–your average stateside “All-Zep, All-Skynyrd all the time” station? The local “PowerHits” suckfest?
Comrade Mary
OK, we’re redeemed again. k-os is pretty damn great. Here’s one of his earlier singles. Crabbuckit and this Sam Roberts song pretty well sum up my summer on the East Coast a few years ago.
SpotWeld
After this, there is now no excuse for the UK not to have Doctor Who at their ceremonies…
alone in the dark
I agree with the seeming consensus that Vancouver is in on the joke. This is kind of awesome.
DonBelacquaDelPurgatorio
Overdone and theatrical, just like every Olympic closer I have ever seen. But pleasant enough, not even the overblown patriotism is annoying. All in all, not bad.
For a country shaped like a big partly eaten cheese, with only a tiny strip of itself lapping over into an inhabitable climate, populated mostly by moose, they did pretty well. Kudos, eh?
wvng
I so want to be a Canadian. I was just dying watching them make fun of themselves. An antidote to the USofA’s arrogance.
demimondian
@SpotWeld: No, no, no. If that happened, President Palin would take offense at the reference to the Tardis, which would obviously be an underhanded reference to her _stage prop_ disabled son.
Yutsano
Bah. I’m stuck with NBC and their suckage that is wrap-up coverage. I want my giant beavers dammit!
Caramuru
“And the always enjoyable giant inflatable beavers!” – Bob Costas
alone in the dark
@wvng:
Whenever spontaneous renditions of “O Canada” would break out I was struck by how different it felt from similar attempts at “The Star Spangled Banner.” The overwhelming sense of joy and love and (yes) pride was in such contrast to the aggressive attempts to convey superiority that US audiences seem to engage in.
demimondian
Somehow, John, I think that the jokes which begin “But did you see the teeth on those beavers?” wouldn’t go anywhere good.
freelancer
@Yutsano:
That’s probably a first.
/snickers
jon
Those Canadian artist rules for radio sound awesome, because now I can finally go on a vacation to get the Glass Tiger fix I’ve been jonesing for the last twenty years.
burnspbesq
@RedKitten:
OK, but you knew it wasn’t going to be Bruce Cockburn or k.d. lang. So who’s left? Feist? Arcade Fire? Barenaked Ladies?
Michael G
@colleeniem:
I do! In my memory, they were chrome plated, they were loaded with frat/sorority chicks packed in the back riding the vehicle in a cowboy pantomime, and they drove around the field doing choreographed donuts. Then the cameras cut to the head of the Olympic committee with his jaw wide open in a universal “WTF” look.
My memory may be slightly embellished, but only very slightly. It was very close to that–someone should find it on Youtube.
Yutsano
@alone in the dark: Well that and it’s easier to sing really. Ask anyone who’s tried it, our national anthem is a PAIN!
@freelancer: DAMMIT! I was in the middle of a phone call when I read that! It took about everything I had to keep from losing it! Good one though.
burnspbesq
I prefer the bilingual version of “O Canada” that the late Roger Doucette used to sing before Candiens’ games at the old Forum. They should have piped that in for the medal ceremony.
Just Some Fuckhead
Odd then, that America spawned the big box store.
burnspbesq
Way OT:
John, since you like Magos Herrera, you should check out the new Gretchen Parlato record.
Anya
All of the CBC listeners are going to hid their head in shame because of all the over-the-top patriotism crap. These weeks they’ve been reacting to how unseemly the whole “own the Podium” and all the other patriotism stuff was so un-Canadian. I can’t wait to listen to that tomorrow.
demimondian
@burnspbesq: Great Big Sea would do. Open with _Captain Kidd_ and then move on to _The Mermaid_. Definitely worth watching the face of the head of the IOC during the last verse of that.
Svensker
@Just Some Fuckhead:
LOL
Comrade Mary
@demimondian: You’re redeemed for reminding me of the name of that damn band. All day, I’ve been trying three-word names for Canadian bands and falling short.
Bare Naked Ladies? No.
Crash Test Dummies? No.
Avril Fucking Lavigne? Oh, God, no.
I can go to sleep now.
Phantomist
What, no love for Edmund Fitzgerald?
ELAINE: Andrea Doria? Isn’t that the one they did the song about?
JERRY: (Correcting her) Edmund Fitzgerald.
ELIANE: I love Edmund Fitzgerald’s voice.
JERRY: (Gives Elaine a look) No, Gordon Lightfoot was the singer. Edmund Fitzgerald was the ship.
ELAINE: I think Gordon Lightfoot was the boat.
JERRY: (Sarcastic) Yeah, and it was rammed by the Cat Stevens.
KG
@John Cole:
…@mr. whipple:
Um, this is a family blog, right? Because I’m sure there’s a few thousand jokes in there, somewhere…
Rhoda
Micheal G: here you go.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0acpZjSmlyQ
Martin
@alone in the dark: Well, down here in SoCal we have rather a lot of radio variety, so the Classic Rock/Top 40 suckfest is pretty easily avoided.
Mike in NC
Shatner didn’t “sing”, so that was a letdown, but Catherine O’Hara is still smokin’ hot/sexy/funny after all these years…
Yutsano
Oh jeez. Why didn’t someone tell me the tool was dressed in a tacky track suit? Ugh.
tavella
The first nations chiefs coming in was pretty cool, I thought.
burnspbesq
@Martin:
Que? In morning drive we have Piolin, wingnut talk radio, Mike & Mike, Kevin & Bean, and 18 stations playing 18 different varieties of narcocorridos. Plus “Morning Edition” repeated three times on KCRW. Not my idea of variety.
matt
Deep thought: There will never be a Winter Olympics in Australia.
mr. whipple
@KG:
There was a little man in the pink canoe, no less.
burnspbesq
Reminder: Fellow Yanks, our next chance go all jingoistic and Ugly American over a sporting event comes on June 12, when we play England in the World Cup (an event for which Canada has never qualified and is unlikely to ever qualify, nyah nyah nyah). Be there or be square.
Yutsano
@matt: Probably not, but IIRC there are quite a few decent snow hills in New Zealand. Plus they did split the difference and do the summer games in Sydney in September right about at the start of Australian spring. It’s feasible and I’m sure a few of the Aussies here will have much better commentary than I can offer.
daryljfontaine
@demimondian:
Link added for turbo-charged nightmare fuel.
D
Yutsano
BTW best rendition of O Canada I’ve heard these whole Games was at the end of the gold medal hockey game. There was a lot of spirit in that game. A LOT.
amorphous
Where, oh where, is Fat Chinstrap YouTube Slam Poet? He’s so integral to Canadian culture!
polyorchnid octopunch
@mr. whipple: Oh, I’m really disappointed. There was a band from Tdot a few years back called Big Rude Jake, and one of their songs was “Girl in the Pink Canoe”… a real howler, but it’s NOT ON YOUTUBE!
Can’t imagine why… they seem hung up on the sekshual thing there at the tube. Fortunately, it is on last.fm: http://www.last.fm/music/Big+Rude+Jake/_/Girl+in+the+Pink+Canoe
mr. whipple
I’m gonna miss these Olympics. Well done, Canada.
G’night.
alone in the dark
I’m guessing we won’t hear Sloan or The Tragically Hip during this segment.
alone in the dark
@Yutsano:
I thought the crowd’s rendition during the 10th end of the gold medal curling match was touching.
amorphous
@alone in the dark: Our anthem sucks. It’s terrible. Replace it with “America the Beautiful” and I’m on board.
Corner Stone
@mr. whipple: Californication reference f t w.
Darkrose
@amorphous: Our anthem sucks. It’s terrible. Replace it with “America the Beautiful” and I’m on board.
That’s because it’s 1) about the War of 1812, about which no one really gives a shit, and 2) the melody is an old English drinking song, which is why no one can hit the high notes–you’re supposed to be plastered by that point.
freelancer
Hey you saunter to the podium like a swaggering dick with the anthem you have, not the anthem you want.
bago
Well, Wynona had a big brown beaver…
burnspbesq
@Darkrose:
You do realize, I assume, that “America the Beautiful” is just “God Save the Queen” with different lyrics.
Fern
@burnspbesq: You sure about that?
J. Michael Neal
@amorphous:
“The Battle Hymn of the Republic” is the only worthwhile piece of American patriotic music, but it’s good enough to justify the rest.
Matt
Canada’s giant inflatable beavers can’t top Troy, Michigan: home of Exit 69 (off of I-75), Big Beaver Road.
Common Sense
This Land is Your Land
KRK
@demimondian:
GBS performed Friday night at BC Place. I’d have thought they’d rate the closing ceremony beaverfest, but I guess not.
gnomedad
@burnspbesq:
You’re thinking of “My Country, ‘Tis of Thee”.
Mike in NC
Either that or “America The Beautiful” would do to replace the current abomination as National Anthem. Will never happen of course.
freelancer
America, Fuck Yeah!
Dr. Morpheus
@burnspbesq:
Bill E Pilgrim
Edit: Never mind. Third correction in a row about American the Beautiful not being God Save the Queen, in a thread mind-meld.
Make it the Ray Charles version BTW and I’m on board to replace our horrible national anthem.
SiubhanDuinne
@burnspbesq: Actually, it’s “America” (aka “My Country ‘Tis of Thee”) that’s sung to the tune of GSTQ. “America the Beautiful” is a different song altogether (“Oh beautiful for spacious skies. . . “) and I for one would take it in a heartbeat over the unsingable militaristic drinking song that is the current anthem.
amorphous
@Darkrose: Precisely. The only enjoyment I get out of it is waiting for whoever is attempting to sing it to completely whiff on the high stuff.
I’d like to see the wingnut explosion that would happen if this were actually suggested. And you know those numbnuts would say if we’re going to change it, the only acceptable choices are either Lee Greenwood or (tee hee) Springsteen. Oh, and how I would LAFF.
Don’t mind me, just taking pleasure in hypotheticals.
PDXChris
@burnspbesq:
“My Country, ‘Tis of Thee” is “God Save The Queen.”
SiubhanDuinne
(I see a whole lot of us here know our patriotic songs.)
Bill E Pilgrim
@amorphous: Not only has it been suggested a million times, it’s been proposed in bills in Congress.
Edit: Funny, I just Googled up a wingnut reaction that wasn’t nearly as rabid as one would think, though predictably outraged. Included a poll posing the question to readers, sort of surprising. Links to Michael Kinsley article proposing it also as the umpteebillionth person to do so.
http://hotair.com/archives/2009/06/12/poll-should-we-replace-the-national-anthem/
Anyone remember “Rewriting the national anthem” by Albert Brooks?
Dr. Morpheus
@SiubhanDuinne:
Fuck Yeah!!
amorphous
@Bill E Pilgrim: For reals? What Pinko Commie Soshulist Islamofacist proposed such utter blasphemy?
Martin
@burnspbesq: 88.1 Jazz/Blues, 98.7 does alt but no morning/drive time shows – explore the dial a bit – there’s more out there. Hell, Jack has merit just to break the usual channel song cycling.
Kristine
@SpotWeld:
That would rock. Medals shaped like keys and the flame spurting out the top of a big blue callbox.
And Jelly Babies as the official mascots ™.
ricky
I wish the Russians felt they had won enough medals to only need play the short version of their National Anthem. Tonight I was left with the impression that its lyrics are a complete daily history of the glorious struggle to collectivize the breadbasket they once had.
burnspbesq
@Fern:
Oops. Wrong vapid, jingoistic song.
Bill E Pilgrim
@amorphous: I don’t know and can’t find any details but I remember hearing about it.
http://www.america-the-beautiful.com/
…makes reference to “Numerous proposals and half a dozen bills in Congress have tried to replace our national anthem” but includes no details.
Yutsano
Is anyone else picking up the tone of the closing speech from the Canadians to the Russians?
“HA! Suckers! This is all your damn problem now!”
Martin
@J. Michael Neal: You really think lyrics such as this would make the nation more sane:
It’s a good song, but as a national anthem we might as well just install John Hagee as king.
No, ‘This Land is Your Land’ is the only real patriotic song worthy of consideration.
ricky
@SiubhanDuinne:
I know all the lyrics to “Hate America First.”
Comrade Luke
My favorite O Canada moments before this Olympics:
Number 1
Number 2
SiubhanDuinne
@Dr. Morpheus:
/smile/
When I was in school, we learned, and sang, all verses of The Star-Spangled Banner, America the Beautiful, America (MCTOT), and the Battle Hymn of the Republic. ALL verses, bitchez! We were also expected to know from memory the first bit of the Declaration of Independence, the Preamble to the Constitution, the Gettysburg Address, and the Emma Lazarus poem inscribed at the base of the Statue of Liberty. Sounds like a lot of memorizing, but it was just normal, not an especially big deal. Oh, also the words and BOTH tunes of the state song (“By thy rivers gently flowing, llinois, Illinois”). This wasn’t any kind of überconservative school, just an ordinary public school in the suburbs of Chicago.
Damn, now I have an “Illinois, Illinois” earworm going on. Two of them, in fact.
SiubhanDuinne
@ricky: LOL
Martin
@burnspbesq: Loverboy! Surely they need rehab money by now.
amorphous
@Bill E Pilgrim: Yeah, I just read Cap’n Ed (at Hot Air, even!) talk about it without going nucking futs… so let me edit my original statement: I’d like to see the reaction if B. Hussein Obama seriously proposed doing so today.
After all, Republicans love Medicare!
burnspbesq
@ricky:
They’re not the worst. Some of the Central American countries (whose anthems we generally only hear before World Cup qualifying matches) have anthems that I swear are as long as a Mahler symphony.
Bill E Pilgrim
@SiubhanDuinne: Good god.
That may not have been an uberpatriotic school by some standards, but it wasn’t Northern California in the 70s, I can tell you that. I think we were required to know all of the lyrics to the first Crosby Stills Nash and Young album, but that was about it.
Yutsano
@amorphous: Even better: a song composed by that beautiful patriotic American Woody Guthrie. Oh wait…yeah Obama should definitely run with that.
@burnspbesq: I’ll have to look this up again to be sure, but I recall the Greek national anthem being
168158 verses long.mak
Awesome Olympics, Canada. Best in my memory. Bode’s redemption, Lindsey’s revival, Wescott’s repeat, Tomato’s supremacy, Apolo’s swan song, Rochette’s mettle and, of course, Canada’s golden hockey cherry on top. The opening’s acknowledgment of Nodar’s death was handled with lyrical respect (seriously, read the transcript if you missed it), and managed to combine native culture, cool-looking virtual Orcas and hep goiter-neck-beard boy. Then: William Shatner poetry slam. As for Nickelback, well, just think of them as the best Tool tribute band evar (from Canada).
Couldn’t be happier for or more grateful to our friends to the north. Nicely done.
ricky
Canada may be home to Inflatable Giant Beavers, but Sochi is the Known as the Summer Home of Russia. Just as Canada honored its First Nations as honorary hosts of these games, I hope the Ghosts of the Circassian Genocide will be honored by the Sochi hosts. Perhaps a symbollic Circassian Village can be lit aflame by the Olympic Torch.
Quackosaur
As much as I prefer “America the Beautiful” over the current national anthem (the stanzas are shorter, at a reasonable range), it’s unlikely you’d see adoption of it without vocal (though likely small) opposition for its repeated attributions to God. Though I’m sure certain people wouldn’t mind heavy doses of God and nationalism…
Bill E Pilgrim
@Yutsano:
Yeah but it’s the chorus that’s the best part of that one.
Common Sense
@Martin:
Couldn’t agree more. It stays true to American ideals and our founding vision in a way that the god nuts will never understand.
Perry
I thought Nickelback’s appearence was still part of us making fun of ourselves.
Comrade Kevin
Stephen King’s The Stand, the miniseries, was on SciFi tonight. I watched some of that, instead, after 60 Minutes was over. I think that is the absolute best of the King adaptations.
ricky
@mak:
Is that a reference to the ‘def’ poet who got a standing ovation for calling Canada a land of “please and thank yous?”
That, to me was funnier than the blind guy driving the bobsled for the American team, or the reporter asking one of the two interior body human body weights on his crew what the ride looked like.
Morbo
“Obamacare… Stop him!”
It’s good to see that Newsmax has dropped their pretense.
MattR
@Comrade Luke: I actually looked up Number 1 earlier today. That is my favorite version of the Canadian national antherm. And this is my favorite version of the American one.
Bill E Pilgrim
@Quackosaur:
I’m sure certain people wouldn’t mind heavy doses of God and nationalism…
The preferred Wingnut replacement proposal is not America the Beautiful but “God Bless America” which gets right to the point in the first word of the title.
mak
@ricky
Yes; yes it was. Perfect precedent/book end to Shatner, I think.
As for the bobsled guys, I was pleased to see a place for the fatman in the Olympics, an occasion made even grander for the fact that they (especially the pilot) were wearing skin-tight speed suits. In public. And on camera. At least the Babe had the good sense to wear baggy flannels.
ricky
@SiubhanDuinne:
Ah, good old state songs. We had to learn Texas Our Texas
but they changed that to requiring a pledge of allegiance to Texas. I guess they figured out the lyric about “largest and grandest” was made incorrect about a half century earlier by the admission of Alaska to the union.
Martin
@Bill E Pilgrim: Not ‘America, Fuck Yeah!’?
Martin
@ricky: No problem, based on my understanding of the Texas education system and textbook selection, there’s little risk of any kid in Texas ever learning that Alaska is larger.
scav
of course, if we agree that the problem is that it’s a militaristic and hard to sing former drinking song, we could spend a lot of time looking for a non-militaristic easy to sing former drinking song. Research is a virtue and these things do require thought and experimentation…
Yutsano
Michael Bublé got married? I thought he was just engaged.
Jay in Oregon
@burnspbesq:
I wouldn’t have minded a Moxy Früvous reunion, but I suspect I’m weird that way…
amorphous
I think the wingnuts would really love to use either Glenn Beck’s or Rush’s theme songs. Maybe Hannity’s, too, but I think the song he uses on TV is actually about a woman in a physically abusive relationship (really!).
And according to Wikipedia, Hannity’s song also refers to said woman burning her house down and killing her husband and daughter. Good on ya, Sean!
Fred Wertham Jr
It’s on now on the coast. Your post warned me, but canoes with legs and giant maple leafs I was not ready for.
Yutsano
@Fred Wertham Jr: The beavers scared the shit outta my brother. Personally I agree with whoever said it was a show of every single Canadian stereotype out there. They put on a decent show though.
ricky
@Martin:
Actually, in Texas textbooks, the size of Alaska is treated as a theory. There are two refutations, first is that only thawed earth counts, second that if God really meant Alaska to be bigger for all time he wouldn’t have started melting the ice.
ricky
Have the lyrics to “God put the A in Fuckin A-merica” been finished yet?
Fern
@Yutsano: I’m hoping all that was all in the spirit of self-deprecating humour, but who knows.
Fern
Well, this is not exactly an anthem, but “the Maple Leaf Forever” featured heavily in my childhood.
“in days of your from England’s shore,
Wolfe the dauntless hero came
and planted firm Britannia’s flag
in Canada’s fair domain.”
And then it gets worse, if that can be believed.
Yutsano
@Fern: It was all in all hilarious, especially if you’re familiar with Canada at all beyond the Dudley Dooright images. I will say this: if the Michael J. Fox speech didn’t move you you have no soul.
@Fern: The swing version by Bublé was pretty damn cool too. My brother was shocked to see a throwback to the old swig era just lay it down. I loved it!
selskies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpXzASiXX8U
Bill E Pilgrim
By the way, I haven’t seen the Olympics this year but based on ones I watched in the past, I’ve never seen a closing ceremony that didn’t look like it was designed by people on acid.
I remember one in the mountains in France years ago with women walking around in clear plastic bubbles that encased them thigh to shoulder, containing fake snow flakes that they stirred up by waving their hands and arms around inside the bubbles, smiling.
I think the plastic was meant to be invisible and to create an effect something like those little paperweight plastic things that show a snowy scene, but instead they looked like smiling bubble wrap cells with legs. And arms, waving around inside.
ruemara
I tried to watch it but I left as soon as the chick yelping while wearing glittery snow dresses being pulled by a 4 and coach started flying. Dude, I may drink, meditate and do witchcraft, but that shit was freaky.
Watching Holmes on Homes instead.
scav
@Bill E Pilgrim: I’m traumatized just reading about that. It zeroed right into my Sartre neuron for some reason and now I’ve nothing to do but crawl to my bed and gibber for a while.
Tobe
I’m hoping all that was all in the spirit of self-deprecating humour
Bill E Pilgrim
@scav: Yes, the paradoxes of France, on the one hand they have Sartre, Camus, exquisite taste in food and so on, and on the other hand, people in large plastic bubbles.
I’ve often said that a lot of why Americans are seen the way they are is because US television is so dominant, the worst crap the US produces is on TV sets all over the world.
If most of what’s on French TV were widely seen in the States, I promise you a lot of people who imagine it here as tasteful or sophisticated would have a rude awakening.
Martin
@ruemara: I love Holmes on Homes. But I’m in the middle of yet another remodel and I’m pretty sure I’m going to dream about him showing up and finishing it for me.
The worst things about doing remodels is the shit I discover from so-called professionals. Soon after we moved in, we discovered that a waste pipe that originated on the second floor had a joint down on the first floor secured with nothing but duct tape. We’ve been cycling through remodels of the bathrooms if nothing more than to fix all the plumbing.
Bill H
@alone in the dark:
Well, the whole Canadian anthem is about how much they love Canada. Ours is pretty much about winning wars. I used to think one of the coolest things about hockey games was hearing the Canadian anthem.
Common Sense
@ricky:
Texas schoolteachers say Alaska doesn’t count because it doesn’t have enough people, and that California doesn’t count because it isn’t big enough. It never made any sense to me either, even as a child.
The textbooks however just tend to gloss over pesky data that doesn’t support the current School Board’s agenda. Thus for example, the founders of Texas being raging populists tends to disappear down the memory hole. Look up the Grange movement sometime. Texans originally banned banks and strongly regulated corporate influence in the state. By today’s definition of the term they socialized the railroads in Texas. Those guys make Obama look like Montgomery Burns.
Lesley
I enjoyed the giant Mountie blow up dolls, flying moose and giant beavers. Canada has a good sense of humour.
It was lovely to see Michael J. Fox. Take that Jabba the Limbaugh.
That said, the music really sucked and VANOC could have done so much better.
I ran into a few crestfallen Americans, sad about the hockey game and one real sore loser who said the following three things:
“It was a close game, could have gone either way” – well yeah. It didn’t.
“Canada has more snow than the United States so you have more opportunity to train for winter sports.”
(ahem, that is just sad.)
“Hockey doesn’t mean as much to us as it does to Canadians so we don’t really care that we lost.” YEAH, I CAN TELL.
Yutsano
@Lesley: The grapes, sour they are.
Yukoner
@burnspbesq:
Ahem. Burnspbesq, you are obviously unaware that Canada has indeed qualified for the FIFA World Cup. 1986 in Mexico I seem to recall. It has been done. It may never be done again.
Bill H
@Yutsano:
Michael Fox standing on two feet in public moves me. I have Parkinson’s Disease. He is a daily inspiration of living fearlessly.
Yukoner
@Martin:
Martin, you are missing the best part!
SiubhanDuinne
@Jay in Oregon: Oh! Moxy Früvous!! They did the most marvellous putdown song about Rush Limbaugh a long time ago (I haven’t heard it or even thought of it in close to a decade, but I’ll bet every word is just as relevant and appropriate today).
@amorphous: It gives me enormous pleasure to be able to say truthfully that I have no idea what Rush Limbaugh’s, Glenn Beck’s or Sean Hannity’s theme songs are.
Bill E Pilgrim
@Bill H: Nice, Bill. Bon courage.
scav
@Bill E Pilgrim: I remember Sunday afternoons as being particularly dire. For some reason though, I enjoyed the ads. shorter and often completely bonkers. (having a permanent Chamellow earworm is a little weird though. Maille. La moutard qui aille. and no I can’t spell it correctly and people stare at you when it just pops out.)
Yutsano
@Bill H: I wish you well good sir. Hopefully you’re getting a good treatment for the condition. Michael looked better than I have seen him in a long time. I hope you stay as strong.
freelancer
@Bill H:
Fearless indeed. That is, to us. Sometimes all we need is one who shares our disposition to take that first courageous step forward. Then another, then by the third and fourth examples step forward, and human psychology takes over and we all are inspired and move forward as one. Fox, to me, remains a hero for his bravery and his advocacy.
I wish you and your family peace, in dealing with and transcending this happenstance horror of the genetic repercussions of human existence. Courage, Bill. Inasmuch as we can be with you, we are. In our inadequate faculties of human bonding, we can be, at the very least, listeners.
/emopants
canadian reader
This whole thing start to finish was hilarious–and I’m Canadian living here in Vancouver. We aren’t all on acid, but it sure would have helped. Or maybe one of those spliff torches we have.
Oh well, crazy goofiness cannot spoil the incredible ride it all was. Thanks for visiting, World. Y’all come back now. Especially all Americans. It felt very much like a family games to compete with you!
gnomedad
Jabba will say this proves MJF was faking in the stem cell spot.
K. Grant
Frankly, they really needed to get Rush (the band, not the blowhard) to play – YYZ would have been a properly rousing send-off, or Limelight, or perhaps even Closer to the Heart.
Beyond that the show definitely tended to move toward the kind of All-Canada review that one might seen in Branson, MO, especially at the end. (Hint – This is not a compliment.)
bongo
http://i.imgur.com/nQf2f.jpg
RedKitten
@burnspbesq:
Arcade Fire would have been okay. For uber-Canadiana, they could have gone with The Tragically Hip. Rufus Wainwright would have been nice too. And where the hell was my Leonard Cohen?
brantl
All in all, I think that the acid is working out better for them, than whatever we’re on is working out for us.
Jay in Oregon
@SiubhanDuinne:
You would be thinking of “The Greatest Man in America”:
http://www.lyricsmania.com/the_greatest_man_in_america_lyrics_moxy_fruvous.html
This is a playlist that I listen to from time to time:
Green Eggs & Ham
Stuck in the 90’s
Pisco Bandito
I’ve Gotta Get A Message To You
Gulf War Song
The Kids’ Song (Live)
My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors
Entropy
Spiderman
Michigan Militia
Big Fish
King of Spain
Beware The Killer Tents
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
You Will Go To The Moon
The Ballad of Cedric Früvous
The Greatest Man in America
The Mitosis Waltz
Huge on the Luge
Chinn Romney
Right, it was ‘schrooms Baby! Magic Schrooms.
joe in oklahoma
“There are jokes a plenty to be made with that one.” of course, and the Canadians know it. and they enjoyed having fun with the whole thing.
dp
Well at least Canada can poke fun at itself. If this were done in America, serious politicians wearing made-in-China American flag lapel pins would appoint a bi-partisan commission to investigate such treasonous acts. Fox would be 24/7 about the organizers war on American values and the chyron would read, why does the olympic committee hate America? John Cole needs to pull the stick out of where ever it is lodged and lighten up!
eyepadlle
I don’t know, maybe you just need to be guitar players, but I’ve never thought any other national anthems held a candle to The Star Spangled Banner. When I was a kid going to North Stars’ games I always felt a bit sorry for Canada having such a bland national anthem.
I tend to play it a lot closer to the traditional melody than Jimi, but it is awesome fun to play–just great for distortion and (tremolo bar) dive bombs.
Michael D.
@Bill H:
Hmmm, not sure I agree with that.
I’ve always thought the the US national anthem was about perseverance. In other words, in the face of bombs bursting around them, the rocket’s red glare showed that the American flag was still flying. In the face of adversity, the country lives on.
I don’t like The Star Spangled Banner at all – but it’s only because it is unsingable. I think America the Beautiful is a much better anthem.
Michael D.
@Lesley:
Because in Canada, we play hockey in the snow.
Mike in NC
Does anybody claim “Deutschland über alles” these days?
Michael D.
Finally, I think part of what defines Canada is our ability to make fun of ourselves. Anyone who doubts that needs to watch “This Hour Has 22 Minutes” and see how the cast routinely rakes Canadian politicians over the coals.
The difference between TV political comedy here in in Canada is that, in Canada, the politicians will appear on the show and let themselves be totally embarrassed by those interviewing them!
Can you imagine, here, a comedian wrangling her way into the President’s office to confront him and make a fool of himself (and herself)?
http://www.cbc.ca/22minutes
Check out some of the videos.
RedKitten
@Michael D.: If Marg Delahunty tried some of that stuff in the U.S., the Secret Service would have cracked her head open on the pavement years ago.
Ash Can
@Michael D.: I’ll have a soft spot for the classic Canadian funny guys such as Aislin, Allan Fotheringham, and the Royal Canadian Air Farce till the day I die. I love the Canadian sense of humor (insofar as it can be defined as a “single” sense of humor). It never fails to crack me up.
ETA: And if Flanders & Swan don’t make you laugh, you’d better check your pulse.
Bill H
Actually, perhaps courage is not the word I was looking for. Michael J. Fox is full of life and cheerful. There’s a lady across the street from me; has breast cancer. She’s had two surgeries. Every morning she bounces out of her house to walk her dog, Murphy. She laughs a lot. The world is full of people like that.
When I was in the Navy I was at TDY at a Navy hospital, driving an ambulance, taking people to appointments. There was one old Admiral, really old, and he was dying. We all wanted his run, because he was a joy to be around. He asked about us and our families, and he told funny stories about his Navy service. There was a nurse who was in terrible pain; we had to drive really slow so as to not hit bumps and hurt her. She told jokes all the time and got us to give her new ones to add to her collection. At the end of the run she thanked us for being so careful and assured us she had not felt a thing.
These are the people I draw from. I am somewhat limited in my physical activity as, in addition to the PD, I have a heart condition and have had several strokes. But I am in good shape and life is good. Among other things, I have the crazy people here at Balloon Juice.
Bill H
@Michael D.:
Well, maybe so, but between love and perseverance, I’ll take love.
Canada’s anthem is, “Canada we love you and we’ll protect you.”
America’s is, “We’re tough fuckers and you can’t kill us.”
Maybe I’m just a big pussy.
Surly Duff
AS my wife said, “So Canada spent the entire opening ceremonies trying to disprove any cultural stereotypes about Canadians, and the entire closing ceremony is being spent reinforcing every cultural stereotype about Canadians? That makes sense.”
Also, the jokes by Shatner and Catherine O’Hara were flat out awful. At least let Shatner perform some ridiculous spoken word peotry.
celticdragonchick
@Michael D.:
Nice point. The Star Spangled Banner was written when we were in the middle of losing a war with the greatest military power on earth.
Of course, it was a horrendously bad idea to have gotten into it to begin with, but that is another story…
Ed Drone
In the squares of the city, In the shadow of a steeple;
By the relief office, I’d seen my people.
As they stood there hungry, I stood there wonderin’
If this land was made for you and me?
Yeah, those lyrics would go over really well. Or the verse about private property:
There was a big high wall there that tried to stop me;
A sign was painted, sayin’ “Private Property;”
But on the other side, it didn’t say nothing;
This land was made for you and me.
Woody’s politics were too much for the establishment at the time; they would be anathema for the right whingers of today. The mark of the authoritarian is to question the source rather than the product, so nothing a confessed radical (hell, Woody bragged about it) could produce would be acceptable.
So “This Land” is out! I’m surprised they haven’t gone after that drinking-song parodist, Francis Scott Key — what kind of background do we want from our anthemists? Drinking societies? Consorting with the enemy (he was on a British warship, and not as a captive; what were the quid pro quos that allowed that, hmmm?)?
I suspect someone knows something scrurrilous about Irving Berlin, else they’d have tried to make “God Bless America” the anthem already. Berlin was Jewish? And born in Russia? Well, there you go!
Ed
Ed Drone
@Bill H:
That reminds me of the short version of almost all Jewish holidays:
They tried to kill us.
We won.
Let’s eat!
Ed
lurkergirl
@Martin: LOL. I bet Streetheart and Chilliwack were pissed they didn’t get asked either.
wrye
Here in (oh so very hungover) Vancouver the theory is that the musical choices from later in the program were really weak partially because all our good musicians wouldn’t agree to a “don’t talk smack about the olympics” clause. I spent part of last night laughing my ass off as some phone-in callers slammed a pair of radio hosts for being too negative for suggesting that Nickelback et al. were weak choices and the last half of the ceremonies could have been better. What was really funny were the clearly punch-drunk and exhausted commentators desperately trying not to tell the callers to fuck off.
“What do you, a sports director, know about Olympic closing ceremonies?”
“Actually, I’ve been to the last eight.”
“Well…why don’t you run them then?”
daniel thomas macinnes
I wonder if free psychedelics is covered under Canada’s health care system? They would automatically be the Coolest People Ever if that were ever allowed, ha ha ha.
Also, Nickelback lip-syncing sucks ass. Where was Gordon Lightfoot?