How Long Before the Sex Tape Surfaces?
More masturbatory fodder for the right-wing:
Last year, Miss California Carrie Prejean endeared herself to the right wing when she answered a question about same-sex marriage by saying that she believes marriage “should be between a man and a woman.” Now, Miss Beverly Hills 2010 Lauren Ashley, who will compete in the Miss California pageant in November, has gone further. Ashley told Fox News that not only is she against same-sex marriage, but that she thinks it is divine law that gays should be put to death because “the Bible is pretty black and white“
I don’t know how she competes in beauty pageants while wearing a burkha, though. I mean, with attitudes like that, she does wear a burkha, right?
February 24, 2010 3:50 pm
Posted in: Assholes
163 Comments
163 Responses
licensed to kill time - February 24, 2010 | 3:54 pm · Link
Perhaps she was vacationing in Uganda when she had that brainfart.
Mike Kay - February 24, 2010 | 3:54 pm · Link
Tape(s) – plural. According the ex-boyfriend, she made and sent numerous cell phone clips of herself masturbating.
Svensker - February 24, 2010 | 3:54 pm · Link
Hmmmm. Jesus said nothing about gay stuff, but he did specifically ban divorce. So I’m assuming she’s even more in favor of execution as a punishment for that, too, amirite?
Daveboy - February 24, 2010 | 3:54 pm · Link
I hope they boo the shit out of her.
tyrese - February 24, 2010 | 3:54 pm · Link
1 Timothy 2:9
Guess the swimsuit competition’s out.
ellaesther - February 24, 2010 | 3:55 pm · Link
Should be… put… to death? Honestly? Honestly??
/looks around/
This doesn’t look like Uganda!
Holy fuck. Holy fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
One can only hope that she is stripped of her crown and paraded through town with a dunce cap on her head—and a list of all the people she knows and loves who are gay and about whom she has not yet guessed in hand.
And then sent to a distant island. In a burka.
Fuck. FUCK! Who raised this woman?
arguingwithsignposts - February 24, 2010 | 3:56 pm · Link
Why no American Taliban tag?
GReynoldsCT00 - February 24, 2010 | 3:56 pm · Link
I don’t recall the Bible mentioning boob jobs or waxing either…imagine if she did the swimsuit competition with her armpits and bikini line au natural?
slag - February 24, 2010 | 3:56 pm · Link
And let me guess…she thinks the government interferes too much in our lives?
hal - February 24, 2010 | 3:58 pm · Link
This bitch should be bounced from the competition. Calling for the deaths of an entire group of people?? If she had said this about any other group, it would not be tolerated, but hey, it’s “in the bible”, so I guess it’s ok.
toujoursdan - February 24, 2010 | 3:58 pm · Link
Sabbath breakers (Exodus 31:14, Exodus 31:15, Exodus 35:2, Numbers 15:32-36) and disobedient children (Deuteronomy 21:18-21) are also supposed to be killed.
Funny how you never hear about them…
El Cid - February 24, 2010 | 3:58 pm · Link
...
“I’d buy that for a dollar!”
Tonybrown74 - February 24, 2010 | 3:58 pm · Link
Maybe the irony was too subtle?
joe from Lowell - February 24, 2010 | 3:59 pm · Link
Somebody’s going to be quite surprised when her hair and makeup melt 20 seconds after she takes the stage, girlfriend.
Sue - February 24, 2010 | 3:59 pm · Link
Must be from that new conserva-bible they’re working on. The one that leaves out “and the greatest of these is love”.
GReynoldsCT00 - February 24, 2010 | 3:59 pm · Link
@toujoursdan:
Yeah, seriously, like Lieberloser when his campaign was threatened… suddenly appeared on the Sabbath
Morbo - February 24, 2010 | 3:59 pm · Link
So, I take it she’s not much fun on a Friday night? Saturdays though, watch out.
DZ - February 24, 2010 | 4:00 pm · Link
@Slag:
Almost certainly but it is OK to kill 15 million or so people. IOKIYAR
El Cid - February 24, 2010 | 4:00 pm · Link
By the way, I suppose you can be a fashion / beauty queen model from Beverly Hills, California, and not be ay-leetiss as long as you hate teh gayz.
Crashman - February 24, 2010 | 4:01 pm · Link
Looks like we’ve got a newAnita Bryant on our hands.
licensed to kill time - February 24, 2010 | 4:01 pm · Link
Lauren Ashley’s new suit for the swimsuit competition.
asiangrrlMN - February 24, 2010 | 4:01 pm · Link
Yawn. She bores me as did Prejean. I bet she hasn’t even read the whole Bible. She’s just had the relevant quotes
hand-fedforce-fed to her.I think she should be allowed to compete, and I think anyone who feels the need should be allowed to boo the shit out of her every fucking time she walks onto the stage.
The line that she has gay friends and there’s no hate between them is the worst. That takes “I’m not racist because I have black friends” to a whole different level.
I didn’t read all the comments, but I liked the one that said that evolution for brains and for beauty took quite divergent paths.
Joshua Norton - February 24, 2010 | 4:02 pm · Link
In my bible it says she’s a card-carrying bitch. It’s right there. In black and white. As of 3 minutes ago.
I wonder how she’s going to ever make it through the pageant without coming into contact with gays. ‘Cause she better hope she doesn’t.
SGEW - February 24, 2010 | 4:02 pm · Link
I’m still waiting for a beauty pageant contestant to speak out strongly about the biblical condemnation of mixed fabrics.
Zifnab25 - February 24, 2010 | 4:03 pm · Link
Attention whore DEMANDS ATTENTION!
How long till she gets her own reality TV show?
Chuck Butcher - February 24, 2010 | 4:03 pm · Link
But does she have plastic tits?
The brain part has already been answered…
Crashman - February 24, 2010 | 4:03 pm · Link
BTW, according to the article, she has a lot of friends who are gay so… you know, it’s okay.
slag - February 24, 2010 | 4:05 pm · Link
@Crashman: But who doesn’t think at least some of their friends should be put to death? I know all my friends with brown hair bug the shit out of me. Time for them to go.
Peter VE - February 24, 2010 | 4:05 pm · Link
Does she eat shrimp? Leviticus 11:11 prescribes the same punishment for those who eat “all in the seas or in the rivers that do not have fins and scales” as for those men who lie with other men.
El Cid - February 24, 2010 | 4:06 pm · Link
Maybe she can compete in the beauty pageants in which no gay people are involved.
Ash Can - February 24, 2010 | 4:06 pm · Link
The city of Beverly Hills doesn’t want to have anything to do with her. Dollars to donuts the pageant doesn’t let her compete.
liberal - February 24, 2010 | 4:07 pm · Link
I think there’s something in one of the five big old testament books about, if a woman is raped in the country, her rapist will be put to death. But if she’s raped in the city, then surely someone would have heard her and come to her aid, so both she and her rapist are put to death (for adultery, I guess).
tyrese - February 24, 2010 | 4:07 pm · Link
You know she’s not wrong though. The bible does say kill the gays. It’s says lots of repellent shit. I’ve read the thing. It’s a story about a space monster who terrorizes Earth.
She’s not wrong about what it says on that particular subject, she’s wrong to listen to it in the first place.
hal - February 24, 2010 | 4:08 pm · Link
Shouldn’t she be breaking out the machete, if she really believes what she says? I like you but think you should be put to death, friend! Put that on a Hallmark card.
Incertus (Brian) - February 24, 2010 | 4:08 pm · Link
@asiangrrlMN: Yeah, I’m not sure how that works—gays should be put to death, but no hate because she has gay friends. How does that work again? I’m pretty sure that if I said that, oh, all Catholics should die because they’re all apostates, I couldn’t count any Catholics as friends anymore.
R-Jud - February 24, 2010 | 4:08 pm · Link
@joe from Lowell:
I was about to say: if she gets into a gay hairdresser’s chair, watch him go Sweeney Todd on her ass in a hot minute.
mr. whipple - February 24, 2010 | 4:19 pm · Link
C’mon, doesn’t everyone have a lot of friends who they think should be dead? What are friends for?
Crashman - February 24, 2010 | 4:19 pm · Link
@Peter VE: I like this. Don’t have my Bible handy, but what other ridiculous things are we supposed to be put to death for? Isn’t there something in there about shaving?
asiangrrlMN - February 24, 2010 | 4:22 pm · Link
FYWPWARPF!
@Peter VE: Any excuse to break out Prop 8 – The Musical, and you just gave it to me.
LOVE Margaret Cho.
@tyrese: It’s the hypocrisy that bothers me, as also pointed out in the above video. They ignore verses they don’t like and hone in on the ones that support their viewpoints.
El Cid - February 24, 2010 | 4:24 pm · Link
@Ash Can:
Jeesh, these people are nothing but grifters. All of them. From the article you linked.
Maybe she should also claim to be the Temporary Proxy Commander of the Alaska National Guard.
Bob S - February 24, 2010 | 4:24 pm · Link
@tyrese:
“It’s a story about a space monster who terrorizes Earth.”
That’s fucking hilarious. I laughed out loud, then read it to my wife when she asked what I was laughing about. Now she’s laughing, too.
mr. whipple - February 24, 2010 | 4:24 pm · Link
@Crashman:
Verily I say unto you, do not shaveth the nether regions, nor the axillary areas, nor the pedal limbs as it is an abomination beforeth the Lord. – mr whipple, 6-23.
toujoursdan - February 24, 2010 | 4:26 pm · Link
There are the two verses in the Old Testament.
But in premodern Hebrew culture there was no concept of sexual orientation. Bronze age substance agricultural societies were highly labour intensive which forced everyone – gay or straight – to get married and have as many kids as possible to do the work of harvesting crops and tending livestock in order to keep the family alive, particularly through the frequent famines they had.
Male anal rape was also commonly used on captured prisoners in the Middle East to dominate and humiliate them, much like prison rape is used today. So the prohibition was probably aimed at this act. Not two consensual gay guys getting it on in the bedroom.
(At least that’s what most of us in the mainline Protestant denominations think.)
El Cid - February 24, 2010 | 4:26 pm · Link
@Bob S: And then it sends itself down as its own offspring to be tortured and killed but not really killed because it can’t be killed.
MikeJ - February 24, 2010 | 4:26 pm · Link
Big surprise. Attractive woman wants to get rid of any men who she can’t get to buy her shiny things with he promise of sex.
Keith - February 24, 2010 | 4:27 pm · Link
@El Cid:
Or a plumber, just trying to buy a small business for herself.
tyrese - February 24, 2010 | 4:27 pm · Link
Does the hypocrisy bother you more than the belief that gays should be killed?
Bruce (formerly Steve S.) - February 24, 2010 | 4:28 pm · Link
The Bible is also “pretty black and white” about strutting your stuff in front of the whole world. See 1 Timothy: 2, 1 Peter: 3, Proverbs 11:22, Titus 2… it’s difficult to see how one can reconcile a “black and white” interpretation of the Bible with beauty pageants, though that hasn’t stopped hypocrites from doing so.
Tsulagi - February 24, 2010 | 4:28 pm · Link
Surely a chastity belt too. Would think she’d agree the Bible is pretty black and white on that no fornicating before marriage stuff. Look for Miss Beverly Hills to be the first calling for Virgin Death Panels. Before you get your marriage license, must submit to an examination by the VDP. No hymen, no head.
The Chief - February 24, 2010 | 4:29 pm · Link
Further evidence that being a Republican in this day and age is increasingly more about just being an asshole.
El Cid - February 24, 2010 | 4:30 pm · Link
@The Chief: Hey, don’t forget stupid and ignorant. And proud of it, too, by God!
Oscar Leroy - February 24, 2010 | 4:30 pm · Link
Oh please. What she said is in there, is in there. No doubt about it. No denying it.
scav - February 24, 2010 | 4:30 pm · Link
It sometimes seems as though Xianity is on a suicide mission. It also seems as though Xianty can’t be killed. Very Meta that.
gex - February 24, 2010 | 4:30 pm · Link
It’s really nice to know that there is a huge demand for this kind of speech. I seriously doubt she is sincere in her views. I rather suspect she is a vapid beauty pageant contestant who desperately wants as many people to look at her now, when the only thing of value to her is in its full glory. She seeks celebrity and PR, like Prejean and Palin. Hatin’ on the gays is the fastest way for a clean wholesome girl like her to get on the wingnut welfare circuit.
But you know, I can’t even get gay friendly people I encounter in every day life to stop using “gay” = “insult” or “gay” = “bad” language. It is simply acceptable to say hateful things about gays in today’s society. In fact, a lot of money can be made by it.
asiangrrlMN - February 24, 2010 | 4:30 pm · Link
@tyrese: Oh, I don’t believe in the Bible at all. In these instances, however, it flabbergasts me that people point to this one verse and then ignore the ones that actually apply to them—such as the ones about divorce. And shellfish.
@Oscar Leroy: I know it’s in there. That’s not my point. My point is that there are a bunch of other verses in the Bible that relate to things she could actually be stoned for herself, but she pays no attention to them. Your reading comprehension has failed.
Midnight Marauder - February 24, 2010 | 4:31 pm · Link
So much like there is a Joe The Plumber Path To Fame for middling, grossly incompetent conservatives (men), now there is also the Carrie Prejean Path To Fame (equality, bitches). I mean, this is a pretty shameless grifting effort on this girl’s part. And of all the places to pull a fast one, Beverly Hills is one of the last places I would fuck with.
That’s Old Money right there. And Old Money doesn’t take too kindly to hare-brained grifters sullying their good name.
Jon H - February 24, 2010 | 4:31 pm · Link
Lauren Ashley…. sounds like she works in porn.
But really, this is just a publicity stunt.
Edit: There is a pornstar named “Ashley Lauren”.
El Cid - February 24, 2010 | 4:32 pm · Link
I am shocked, shocked I tell you, that espousing the views of patriarchal herding tribesmen several thousands of years ago who were attempting to replace rival gods with their own chosen male, pastoralist god leads to repellent views today.
Surely all I need to really know in life was figured out by an angry goat-herder incensed at the neighboring tribes in literally pre-historic times.
twiffer - February 24, 2010 | 4:32 pm · Link
hey, people used the bible to justify slavery: god said it was okay for us to own other people! so, yeah, i guess i’m not shocked that someone would think this. what bothers me is that saying you think millions of people should be murdered because of whom they fuck is apparently an okay thing to do on national television. what the fuck?
i suspect she’s going to have a lot less “gay friends” after this. anyone willing to remain friends with someone who thinks you should be executed because “god said so” is a moron.
tyrese - February 24, 2010 | 4:33 pm · Link
@Bob S: I laugh at it too. I find it funny, though I’m not really kidding or exaggerating. Lots of people are so close to it, they don’t see it for what it is. Badly written SF about a space monster named YHWH who terrorizes earthlings for a while, then apparently leaves.
Which is a good thing. It’s pretty clear in the bible, the nearer you get to the thing, the more likely you are to get royally boned, regardless of who you are or what you did.
I mean, can someone tell me what the Jericho…uh…ites did to deserve their wholesale slaughter? It’s like something Darth Vader arranged.
Persia - February 24, 2010 | 4:33 pm · Link
@asiangrrlMN: And wearing mixed fibers.
Jon H - February 24, 2010 | 4:33 pm · Link
@MikeJ: “Attractive woman”
Not. She even looks like a mediocre porn performer.
El Cid - February 24, 2010 | 4:34 pm · Link
@Midnight Marauder: Carrie Prejean, FWIW, actually won a real beauty pageant.
This is like how militia types declare themselves the Xth Auxiliary Such & Such Battalion, and give themselves ranks and badges and stars and medals.
Sort of the right wing version of Renaissance Fairs.
FlipYrWhig - February 24, 2010 | 4:34 pm · Link
@The Chief: Yes, they definitely have ambivalent views on the anus.
asiangrrlMN - February 24, 2010 | 4:35 pm · Link
@Persia: Yes. My personal favorite.
The video I linked above pretty much sums it up. And, it has Jack Black as Jesus Christ.
Barry - February 24, 2010 | 4:37 pm · Link
“How Long Before the Sex Tape Surfaces?”
Judging from Miss Carrie Prejean, I’d expect this current example of whackjobbery to have animal sex tapes appear, at the very least.
The nuttier they are in public, the more insanely rowdy they are in private.
ajr22 - February 24, 2010 | 4:37 pm · Link
This is just a media conspiracy to censor christianity.
jacy - February 24, 2010 | 4:37 pm · Link
@tyrese:
I tell my kids that most organized religions can be boiled down to a simple sentence:
My imaginary friend said you can’t do that.
MikeJ - February 24, 2010 | 4:40 pm · Link
@Jon H: I’ve not seen her, but she’s obviously attractive enough to con her way into a beauty contest. My guess is things have been pretty easy for her and every time she’s ever wanted anything she simply batted her eyes. And it doesn’t surprise me that she wants to kill anyone who won’t fall for her shit.
Annie - February 24, 2010 | 4:41 pm · Link
But this is tooo funny….
Ashley TOLD Pop Tarts….......
slag - February 24, 2010 | 4:42 pm · Link
@MikeJ:
Flag on the play. Fifteen yards for employing sexual stereotypes.
Oscar Leroy - February 24, 2010 | 4:42 pm · Link
Oh brother. Why don’t you say what you mean to say before chastising people for not seeing what isn’t there? Your writing (and courtesy) have failed.
tyrese - February 24, 2010 | 4:43 pm · Link
You know, there’s no good explanation in the bible for why Space Monster stopped screwing with humans.
My guess is he was chased off by the Space Police, who don’t take kindly to high-tech fugitives screwing with primitive planets.
“Car 15, we got a 10-29 assault and battery on a Job over in sector Zed-Zed-nine plural-Zed alpha…”
Jon H - February 24, 2010 | 4:43 pm · Link
@MikeJ: ” I’ve not seen her, but she’s obviously attractive enough to con her way into a beauty contest.”
1. It’s not clear that she won any beauty contests.
2. Wet-t-shirt contests could be considered a form of beauty contest
3. The fox news website has a picture in their story. Ain’t pretty.
HumboldtBlue - February 24, 2010 | 4:44 pm · Link
And who gives a fuck what mainline protestants think other than other superstitious, hateful and bigoted mainline protestants?
Miss Pasadena is headed straight to Hannity, then to the Scientologist scar-lady and after that, a sit down with the intellectual giants on Fox and Friends.
Oscar Leroy - February 24, 2010 | 4:44 pm · Link
@El Cid:
Sweet )
asiangrrlMN - February 24, 2010 | 4:45 pm · Link
@Oscar Leroy: Well given that your first blockquote contained the part where I said she was spouting force-fed quotes and that I doubted she’s read the whole Bible, I assumed that people would realize that meant I knew that what she said was in the Bible. If your definition of quote is different, please let me know.
P.S. I am usually courteous to people who are courteous to me.
Comrade Dread - February 24, 2010 | 4:47 pm · Link
This is Biblical illiteracy and bad theology.
Let’s start with the law. The law has a specific application and a general one.
The specific application being the civic component which was given to the Jewish proto-nation as a civic and religious guideline, to separate them from their neighbors and let them have a cohesive identity.
The general application was a religious one, it was also to show them their complete dependence upon God’s grace through their failure to keep the law. This, per the New Testament, was applicable to all.
To try and apply the civic principles and penalties to America under the New Testament is absurd.
One might as well ask her if she enjoys bacon, or if she stays home from church during her time of the month, or if women whose husbands have died should marry their brother in laws.
Will Danz - February 24, 2010 | 4:49 pm · Link
She just gave me the permission I needed to firebomb a Red Lobster.
THOSE PEOPLE ARE EATING SHELLFISH AND DEFYING GOD
gex - February 24, 2010 | 4:50 pm · Link
@HumboldtBlue: Who gives a fuck? Unfortunately us gay people ought to. Because apparently until all the various interpretations of what some invisible Sky Daddy thinks get sorted out we are up for punishment ranging from exclusion from aspects of civic life, to criminalization of our sex lives, all the way to being subject to the death penalty.
So yeah, I give a fuck. I don’t want to, but I have to. The Christian God needs an new PR campaign because I have no use for the features they are pushing.
Dreggas - February 24, 2010 | 4:52 pm · Link
@tyrese:
So it IS about Cthulu?
Oscar Leroy - February 24, 2010 | 4:54 pm · Link
@MikeJ:
I’ll admit, I laughed at that.
de stijl - February 24, 2010 | 4:57 pm · Link
Like most alien invaders, He lacked immunity to terrestrial diseases and died of the common cold.
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony - February 24, 2010 | 4:58 pm · Link
More masturbatory fodder for the right-wing
Not really. This is how it works… The right wing says over and over that LGBTs are the evilesty things evah! That we are teh biggestest threat to western civilization and that we caused 9/11 and everything awful in the WORLD!!
Then when someone makes a statement or Uganda makes a law that we should be put to death or when some random winger brutally murders us, they feign shock and stammer that, just because they think we are inherently evil destroyers of the world, it doesn’t mean they wish us harm.
Zifnab - February 24, 2010 | 4:59 pm · Link
@Comrade Dread: Blah blah blah. Anal sex is icky (and yet strangely, hypnotically alluring!) so we have to ban it and incarcerate or kill anyone that practices it.
God specifically says to kill what scares or confuses me. It’s in the Bible, don’t ask what chapter or verse. Just try to remember that, while I bludgeon your head in with a claw hammer, I’m doing this because I love you.
Oscar Leroy - February 24, 2010 | 4:59 pm · Link
@asiangrrlMN:
What I thought was, you were going to go for the “sure there are thousands of awful proscriptions in there, but there’s 2 or 3 lines about being kind” strategy. Which is usually what people mean when they say “read the whole Bible”.
Then they go on to say “if you put the anti-[gay, woman, slave, child, intellectual, etc.] quote in context, it magically becomes less offensive” ploy and imply said quote was cherry-picked or taught out of context. Or force-fed, if you will.
But that’s just me.
Dreggas - February 24, 2010 | 4:59 pm · Link
@de stijl:
or he sleeps in R’Lyeh and his followers are just a bunch of lunatics….
Oscar Leroy - February 24, 2010 | 5:00 pm · Link
Cthulhu terrorizes us because he hates us. Space-man does it because he loves us. Which is supposed to be better.
jenniebee - February 24, 2010 | 5:01 pm · Link
I’m only surprised it took this long for a Prejean wannabe to surface. This is a win-win strategy for any pageant contender who can be credibly sincere about it. The whole objective of competing is to break into broadcasting, and what better way to do it than by generating controversy (seriously, anybody here remember the name of the actual Miss USA? You know, the one who beat Prejean?)
Besides, if you say shit like this and lose, the Fox News set knows that you were robbed and you really won really it’s just that horrid liberal element that controls beauty pageants* (Trump is the new Soros!) kept you down. Win, and it’s a David and Goliath story about good triumphing over that same evil liberal media elite establishment that controls beauty pageants (Trump is our protector against Soros!).
*teh libruls having already taken Hollywood, the Ivy League (except Yale (except when Kerry went there)), children’s ice cream, and our Precious Bodily Fluids (even Carrie Prejean’s!) it was inevitable that they would next turn their eyes toward pageants for their awesome world dominating domination powerz. It is a well known fact that Miss USA contenders all have their fingers on the button (even Carrie Prejean!).
MTiffany - February 24, 2010 | 5:02 pm · Link
Well then let’s hope that the little twat goes on stage wearing a nice spandex/lycra blend for the swimsuit portion of the miss california pageant, and then we can put her to death for wearing clothes made from more than one kind of fabric. By stoning, IIRC.
arguingwithsignposts - February 24, 2010 | 5:03 pm · Link
@Comrade Dread:
This is a very good point, and one the talibangelicals seem to always skip over. The OT God (if one is to believe the NT writers) used the law to illustrate how high his standards were, and that nobody could live up to them. witness Jesus’ admonition that “if you look at a woman with lust in your heart, you have committed adultery with her.”
This woman is an idiot, and deserves nothing more than the scorn and shame she will get, which will, inevitably, lead to hosannas among the Focus on the Family crowd. Sigh.
And the next time she eats a ham sandwich – well, God condemned that too.
freelancer - February 24, 2010 | 5:06 pm · Link
OT
I have had it with the loaded codeword rhetoric that the wingnuts use to (not quite) disguise violent fantasies:
http://mediamatters.org/blog/201002240041
By Krauthammer’s logic, shouldn’t we be waterboarding this wingnut in the name of National Security already?
kommrade reproductive vigor - February 24, 2010 | 5:07 pm · Link
Someone stick a sponge under Maggie Gallagher.
Bruce (formerly Steve S.) - February 24, 2010 | 5:07 pm · Link
The Levitical Law was drafted for a particular ethnic group and it never would have occurred to them to apply it to all people in all lands at all times. This is made abundantly clear by all the remorseless genocides interspersed with the laws and moral imperatives.
Joshua Norton - February 24, 2010 | 5:10 pm · Link
This is a win-win strategy for any pageant contender who can be credibly sincere about it.
“The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.”
– Jean Giraudoux (1882 – 1944)
Zifnab - February 24, 2010 | 5:10 pm · Link
@freelancer:
That depends on how you interpret the current set of Calvinball rules we’re operating under.
Irrelevant,YetPoignant - February 24, 2010 | 5:13 pm · Link
@Joshua Norton:
“Always be sincere, whether you mean it or not.”
– Flanders & Swann
The Moar You Know - February 24, 2010 | 5:14 pm · Link
@MikeJ: I think you nailed it.
Fergus Wooster - February 24, 2010 | 5:20 pm · Link
@kommrade reproductive vigor:
ROFL. You gave me my laugh for the day.
ruemara - February 24, 2010 | 5:28 pm · Link
@liberal:
This is gospel truth. Nothing like a religion written for men.
Sly - February 24, 2010 | 5:31 pm · Link
Hope she’s not wearing a two-piece made out of different kinds of cloth during the swim suit competition, or the judges would have to stone her on the spot.
MikeJ - February 24, 2010 | 5:32 pm · Link
@slag: Heaven forbid anyone suggest a beauty pageant contestant might try to get by on her looks.
Silver Owl - February 24, 2010 | 5:34 pm · Link
Nothing like a homicidal contestant. I have a hard time thinking of her as anything but ugly and rotted. She’s fake and murderous.
Can’t the beauty contests build a better model? lol One that does not get off on oppressing and killing people, would be a step up.
Incertus (Brian) - February 24, 2010 | 5:35 pm · Link
@freelancer:
Sorry, but when I read the first part of this, I heard Alan Rickman saying it while wearing his Doctor Lazarus costume.
RandomChick - February 24, 2010 | 5:37 pm · Link
OT, but
Ooohhh, best thing I’ve seen in weeks.
On the floor of the House today, Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) states that “The Republican Party is the wholly owned subsidiary of the insurance industry.”
After it offends the Republicans, he withdraws the statement and comes back to amend it as:
“Make no mistake about it, every single Republican I have ever met in my entire life is a wholly owned subsidiary of the insurance industry!”
I love this man.
Watch the whole thing. He ends “Deal with it”
http://thinkprogress.org/2010/.....ubsidiary/
kay - February 24, 2010 | 5:37 pm · Link
@Silver Owl:
I love that.
Bubblegum Tate - February 24, 2010 | 5:38 pm · Link
I dunno, but when it does, I bet it involves at least one other woman.
kommrade reproductive vigor - February 24, 2010 | 5:38 pm · Link
But seriously ladies and germs, as much as this raises the rainbow alert to orange, I’m glad this little … nitwit has said this. Anyone who praises her, defends her, offers her a job automatically goes down on the Toxic Assholes list. If we’re lucky, she’ll become a bigger millstone than Sarah Palin.
However, I suspect the fRighties will be cautious about embracing little miss … idiot. At least the guys. Teddy sHaggard went a bit too heavy on the kw33rs are damned shit and next thing you know he was having to look for a real job.
kommrade reproductive vigor - February 24, 2010 | 5:38 pm · Link
@Bubblegum Tate: And a cup.
scav - February 24, 2010 | 5:39 pm · Link
Can we call her Postjean?
jenniebee - February 24, 2010 | 5:41 pm · Link
@arguingwithsignposts:
It doesn’t matter if anybody or nobody condemns her. For them, she was a martyr the moment she made the statement. If Beverly Hills says that they never sponsored a pageant, then it’s only because the politically correct Beverly Hills liberal establishment is trying to deny her the chance to compete (shouldn’t everybody have a chance to compete?) If she doesn’t make the first cut then the liberals were so scared of her they eliminated her early to conceal their perfidy and stop her from speaking in the interview part of the contest. If she makes it to the final five then it’s proof that she was supposed to win but the long knives torpedoed her by shooting her down in the back just as she was about to win because the libruls control all the votes except the votes about who makes it to the final five in the first place. If she wins, it will be because truth and right win out and Lauren personally outmaneuvered the sneaky gay liberal agenda judges of agendaed liberal gayitude.
There is exactly no outcome that will not fit their narrative. If you don’t fetch adversity for them to triumph over, they will invent their own rather than be denied the triumph.
Erik Vanderhoff - February 24, 2010 | 5:42 pm · Link
@ Oscar Leroy:
“Baby, why you gotta make me hit you?”
libarbarian - February 24, 2010 | 5:45 pm · Link
OFF TOPIC (& Stupid):
uh-oh. Missile Defense Agency logo includes a Crescent!
Thank God that Big Government is on the case.
Evinfuilt - February 24, 2010 | 5:46 pm · Link
@scav:
Its because their leader is a Shaman with his reincarnate cooldown available.
/wownerd
celticdragonchick - February 24, 2010 | 5:47 pm · Link
@Crashman:
I don’t recall that Anita Bryant called for genocidal pogroms.
This is something new and frightening in American discourse, and is an example of why the GLBT struggle for civil rights will not be a mirror of the African American experience. I wonder if we will see a mass casualty event at a bar or nightclub, perhaps? God knows I have read enough threats to that effect in from wingnuts on GLBT marriage threads.
MattMinus - February 24, 2010 | 5:48 pm · Link
Am I the only one that thinks she’s not even that good looking? Not saying she’s ugly, but nothing remarkable.
Niques - February 24, 2010 | 5:48 pm · Link
I could be wrong, but wasn’t the purpose of God’s sacrifice of His son to open the gates of heaven to us, acknowledging the futility of trying to follow all the laws of the Old Testament? Jesus taught love and compassion and forgiveness and humility as the New Testament laws to follow. I believe that is the essence of Christianity.
Why are so many self-proclaimed Christians so terribly twisted?
celticdragonchick - February 24, 2010 | 5:50 pm · Link
@jenniebee:
Exactly. The perpetual victimhood psychosis narrative of fundamentalist Christianity is essential in ways that you can only understand if you have lived it.
celticdragonchick - February 24, 2010 | 5:52 pm · Link
@kommrade reproductive vigor:
You rock! :D
tavella - February 24, 2010 | 5:55 pm · Link
I’m reminded of Terry Carr’s line about how the Bible, if it had been published as an Ace Double, it would be “War God of Israel/The Thing with Three Souls”.
steve - February 24, 2010 | 5:56 pm · Link
This woman turned up once on the TMZ television show. (I stumbled on this while channel surfing, honest.) She apparently just wanders around Beverly Hills all day introducing herself as “Miss Beverly Hills,” posing for photos and trying to meet celebrities. She was so thrilled to have cameras pointed at her that she did everything possible (including bending herself into odd positions) to keep the TMZ folks around.
She is such an obvious airhead that the idea of her quoting Leviticus (or even knowing what Leviticus is) is ludicrous. I call shenanigans on Fox News. Someone put her up to this.
Nellcote - February 24, 2010 | 5:58 pm · Link
The story’s a hoax to get Maddow and Perez Hilton freaked out.
Comrade Dread - February 24, 2010 | 6:04 pm · Link
Yes. The first few chapters of Romans lays most of this out. People focus on the verses about homosexuality, but the entire first half of that letter is a universal condemnation of all of humanity, and the second half is about God trying to save the lot of us via grace.
I think it’s simple illiteracy when it comes to the theology of Christianity. A lot of folks simply automatically accept and believe everything their pastor tells them without checking it out for themselves, or availing themselves of 2,000 years of Christian writings available to them.
Svensker - February 24, 2010 | 6:04 pm · Link
@HumboldtBlue:
Jeez, whaddjew sit on? Fire ants?
You may consider mainline protestants superstitious, but if you know what you’re talking about—which you obviously don’t—you would not call them hateful or bigoted.
Our local mainline Presbyterian church (in a rich, Republican town) had a sign up during the beginning of the Iraq War saying “God Bless the Whole World—No Exceptions.”
The Populist - February 24, 2010 | 6:05 pm · Link
Is she dating Ryan Sorba? Seems they have a lot in common.
God, these hags are ugly people. Isn’t there a verse in the bible that allows us to shun and kill idiots and the mentally challenged (just villagers, not the REAL mentally handicapped).
And Another Thing... - February 24, 2010 | 6:09 pm · Link
@MattMinus: Oh, and the pouty, come hither look… In the Fox article, she says she’s savin’ it for marriage. Right.
Speaking only for myself, I. Am. So. Tired. Of. Stupid.
and speaking of stupid, McCain now says that Obama suspended his campaign.
Do these a@@holes look at us and only see us as marks?
Comrade Sock Puppet of the Great Satan - February 24, 2010 | 6:18 pm · Link
” Now, Miss Beverly Hills 2010 Lauren Ashley, who will compete in the Miss California pageant in November, has gone further. Ashley told Fox News that not only is she against same-sex marriage, but that she thinks it is divine law that gays should be put to death because “the Bible is pretty black and white“’
She’s done the math and worked out her odds of getting Miss California aren’t good, so she’s betting, given that Wingnut Welfare lovez cute babez, she’ll get a Fox gig or a Heritage Foundation scholarship out of it.
However, it looks like wingnuttia is going in a direction that’ll make Ann Coulter look like Sandra Day O’Connor.
Origuy - February 24, 2010 | 6:24 pm · Link
Fox News should be referring to the Miss California USA pageant, which feeds in to Miss USA. I looked at the misscaliforniausa.com website. The application page doesn’t require any previous pageant win, or even that you reside in the locality you claim to represent. I could say that I’m Miss Alviso, except for the age and sex requirements. This contrasts with the Miss California pageant, which feeds into Miss America. That appears to require a local pageant win.
Bruce (formerly Steve S.) - February 24, 2010 | 6:24 pm · Link
Yes and no. Jesus endorsed the Law in “pretty black and white” terms throughout Matthew, but was more ambiguous about it in other places. The Bible is the wrong place to look for consistency.
Citizen_X - February 24, 2010 | 6:25 pm · Link
@libarbarian: WTF? Are crescent moons considered eeevul now ‘cause they look too muslimy?
dino goposaur - February 24, 2010 | 6:35 pm · Link
Well, there goes my plans for Friday.
Bubblegum Tate - February 24, 2010 | 6:40 pm · Link
@Citizen_X:
Oh, it’s been that way for years—witness Our Lady of Perpetual Outrage’s freakout over the proposed 9/11 memorial in PA because it was all crescent-y.
Plus, this new logo just proves that Obama is a secret Muslim. Also.
Citizen_X - February 24, 2010 | 6:44 pm · Link
@Midnight Marauder:
Well, that does it, then: I hereby proclaim myself Miss Balloon Juice.
Any death sentences shall per the order of Judge Tunch, to be issued as His Honor’s discretion.
toujoursdan - February 24, 2010 | 6:49 pm · Link
@Svensker:
Same with my Episcopal Church parish, which has a gay priest who has been openly partnered to another man for over 10 years. Our bishop has a lesbian daughter who is also partnered and shows up at diocesan functions. No one bats an eye.
We closely cooperate with other mainline Protestant churches, the conservative Jewish synagogue around the corner and the growing Muslim community to staff the local homeless shelter and food bank. There isn’t any hate here either.
Disagreement in humility doesn’t equal hate. Mainline Protestants have cooperated and partnered for over 100 years through the National and World Council of Churches. There is no hate.
kindness - February 24, 2010 | 6:53 pm · Link
The Bible also says it’s OK to have slaves. What it does say is that you are supposed to treat your slaves well and not beat them without a reason.
Hmmm….I’m not touching that one with a punch line. Way too too.
scav - February 24, 2010 | 7:03 pm · Link
@Bubblegum Tate: Anybody look at Our Lady of Guadalupe? Cause guess who else is a secret Muslim.
Comrade Kevin - February 24, 2010 | 7:14 pm · Link
@MikeJ: attractive? She looks like some sort of mutant offspring of Pia Zadora.
Keith G - February 24, 2010 | 7:19 pm · Link
Fine bitch. I’m queer. Come and get me.
Ash Can - February 24, 2010 | 7:20 pm · Link
@Citizen_X:
That’s it; we’re all fucked. It’s been nice knowing you guys.
libarbarian - February 24, 2010 | 7:26 pm · Link
Citizen_X
Interpreting symbols is all about context.
Someone who interpreted a swastika on a Buddha as a statement in support of Nazi ideology would be an idiot. Someone who interpreted a swastika on a sign carried by a shaven-headed white American as a statement as a statement in support of Nazi ideology probably wouldn’t.
In this case, it’s all about the “DuhConservative Code”
Cain - February 24, 2010 | 7:34 pm · Link
@Niques:
So I’ve kind of wondered what happened to all the damned souls before Jesus who got screwed by the Old Testament laws. Do they get out of purgatory or wherever they are and into Heaven?
I’d feel pretty PO’d at God if he relaxed the rules but I got screwed.
cain
RobW - February 24, 2010 | 7:39 pm · Link
Can’t the beauty contests build a better model? lol One that does not get off on oppressing and killing people, would be a step up.
Remember the good old days when a murderous beauty contestant was a funny joke?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nonVj7odbmU
Darkrose - February 24, 2010 | 7:52 pm · Link
yawn Talk to me when you stop eating shrimp, ham, and cheeseburgers, bitch. If you’re going to insist on following Levitican law, you’d better be talking about all 600-odd, or I’m not even going to pretend to care.
I will note that clearly, she isn’t talking about me, because nowhere in Leviticus does it mention women who like the Indigo Girls.
Blue Raven - February 24, 2010 | 7:59 pm · Link
@celticdragonchick:
The bomber in Atlanta, GA during the Olympics tried that already.
Annie - February 24, 2010 | 8:09 pm · Link
Apparently there is no such thing as a “Miss Beverly Hills.” Let the stoning begin….
samuel - February 24, 2010 | 8:32 pm · Link
to imply that those who wear burkhas are also sexist is as shameful as miss california’s fodder.
Tax Analyst - February 24, 2010 | 8:36 pm · Link
@tyrese:
You know, it makes a whole more sense when put in that context.
That’s really one of the more accurate and succinct comments I’ve ever read about the Bible.
kommrade reproductive vigor - February 24, 2010 | 8:43 pm · Link
@MattMinus: Can’t tell. The photo I’m looking at has been pixelated to hell and gone.
Seriously, that photo’s 2 bouncing hearts and 4 flashing stars short of a Blingee™.
former_friend - February 24, 2010 | 8:44 pm · Link
@tyrese:
“It’s a story about a space monster who terrorizes Earth.”
The Old Testament is the one you are talking about. The New Testament was one of compassion and redemption.
Tonybrown74 - February 24, 2010 | 9:06 pm · Link
Let them fag bashers come. I ain’t going down without a fight.
Willem van Oranje - February 24, 2010 | 9:09 pm · Link
They should ask these fundies what they (women AND men) do during and after a ‘minstral’ cycle. The bible is pretty black and white what people should do around a menstrual period.
Willem van Oranje - February 24, 2010 | 9:12 pm · Link
@former_friend: The NT started that way. Then the movement was hijacked by teabagger Paul who claimed to have “seen the light”.
And the last part is written by a drug addict.
El Cid - February 24, 2010 | 9:13 pm · Link
The New Testament is a collection of books written by people other than those whose names are on them and whose portrayal of Jesus is so conflicting that little coherency can be gathered out of them—and weakest of all and found only in 1 book is the notion that Jesus identified himself as the son of God and whose death would take our sins away. If he existed, he most likely saw himself as a radical Jewish prophet preparing the way for the coming of the Messiah.
Willem van Oranje - February 24, 2010 | 9:18 pm · Link
@Cain:
I’ve always wondered about that: what happened to the people who died without ever hearing about that guy’s alleged “sacrifice”.
Because if they get a free pass to Heaven, wouldn’t it have been far more “compassionate” of Jesus to NOT get sacrificed and all that? That way everybody would get that same free pass.
The Populist - February 24, 2010 | 9:19 pm · Link
@Darkrose:
THe fact this beeeeee-otch is not wearing the traditional long sleeve button up shirt (buttoned ALL the way up), a dress that goes all the way down to the shoes and her hair pinned up is proof enough she doesn’t know shit.
The Populist - February 24, 2010 | 9:20 pm · Link
@Bubblegum Tate:
Then you have Glenn Beck whining that New York city landmark buildings have secret commienist messages hidden in them!
kommrade reproductive vigor - February 24, 2010 | 9:23 pm · Link
@Willem van Oranje: Jesus, do NOT get those fundamentalist prevs talking about that sort of thing. The joke about vampires’ teabags springs to mind and will not go away.
John T - February 24, 2010 | 9:39 pm · Link
By now it’s clear that the average gay atheist knows much more about Christian theology, ancient Hebrew law, and the complexities of biblical translation than most self-identified Christians.
Jesus Christ I wish I didn’t have to waste my time defending myself from these morons.
Bubblegum Tate - February 24, 2010 | 10:25 pm · Link
@Willem van Oranje:
No surprise, then, that it’s the best part.
BDeevDad - February 24, 2010 | 11:04 pm · Link
Obligatory West Wing response to the idiots.
NCAA – Eleventyhundred, FotF – 0 « 300 - February 24, 2010 | 11:08 pm · Link
[...] Why look, here’s just the person to do it for them. Although they might have to fight Maggie Gallagher off with a stick. [...]
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal) - February 25, 2010 | 1:46 am · Link
@Chuck Butcher:
Improved. :)
She’s the new age gold digger, willing to be an (opinion) whore for the Republicans and the religious right so she can collect her payout in fame, fortune and popularity. The Wingnut Welfare Gravy Train is getting pretty packed lately, which is a very good thing for the sane people. The more these wingnuts spend in supporting these true believers, excuse me, I mean charlatans, of the wingnut cause, the less they have to live on and to donate to other causes. Let them spread the wingnut welfare far and wide, thinning it out to the point that the charlatans start to attack each other in an attempt to get more of that wingnut cash and attention. The old line ‘too many cooks spoil the broth’ comes to mind here. That and the idea that you can only slice a pie so many times before people start to go hungry.
How about ‘too many crooks spoil the crime’? ;)
I hear that Glenn Beck is going on a book tour and will be charging upwards of $130.00 a seat at his stops. One good thing about this cash feeding frenzy on the right is that the big guys like Rush Limpdick are going to be drowned out in the race for the charlatans to out-wingnut each other.
We can hope that this infighting continues until Wingnut Critical Mass is achieved. It seems that they are getting denser and denser and hopefully soon they will be colliding with each other, splitting apart from the collisions which in turn cause more collisions.
We have to hope that they reach critical ass so be sure to cheer them on every chance you get. ;)
Sock Puppet of the Great Satan - February 25, 2010 | 2:33 am · Link
“The Old Testament is the one you are talking about. The New Testament was one of compassion and redemption.”
The sequels are always kinda less exciting than the originals.