Another Open Thread

Ten years ago today, you heard this song so much you wanted to kill yourself:

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December 31, 2009 6:11 pm Posted in: Open Thread  122 Comments

122 Responses

  1. cleek - December 31, 2009 | 6:12 pm · Link

    Google gives me 69,500 hits for “anopther”. you are not alone.

  2. Ben - December 31, 2009 | 6:12 pm · Link

    And now I want to kill you for putting it back in my head. Such is progress.

  3. Comrade Jake - December 31, 2009 | 6:13 pm · Link

    When did Yglesias get a hold of Cole’s account?

  4. r€nato - December 31, 2009 | 6:14 pm · Link

    It was a great song before 1999, it was a great song again in 2000 and it will live on forever.

    But in late 1998… yeah I was pretty damned sick of it. Don’t be obvious is one of my personal mottos.

  5. Laura W - December 31, 2009 | 6:15 pm · Link

    In keeping with the spirit of the day and year end traditions and all, I feel compelled to share The Second Annual Fat Cat Jokes At Tunch’s Expense Compilation.
    This year’s crop exceeded all expectations. Last year’s list was only 14 entries long! The addition of Lily to the Cole household provided plenty of new material. (Of course this list is entirely subjective and based on what made me laugh the loudest. Your laughter may vary.)

    Remember Tunch: we kid because we love. Don’t hurt us.

    Happy New Year Thread 1/1/2009

    Ash Can:
    Does Tunch have his own ZIP code?

    robertdsc:
    Oh, and I won’t ask how much it cost you to bribe the NASA people to use the Hubble to take that shot of Tunch.

    slag:
    Maybe if you went with a landscape shot, he’d look smaller.

    January 21st, 2009

    slightly_peeved:

    John said: BTW- Tunch Update. It appears he has a new perch.

    From the pictures of that cat, “perch” is a pretty inaccurate way to describe anything it sleeps on.

    More appropriate terms would probably be “foundation”, “scaffold” or “The forest moon of Endor”.

    1/28/09

    Michael D. @TheFountainHead:
    And here’s the link properly embedded so John doesn’t throw Tunch at me…

    Please….
    John can’t lift Tunch.

    Super bowl open thread, 2/1/09

    Michael D. @Napoleon:
    I suspect John is dancing with Tunch out of shear joy.

    I bet Tunch leads.

    Feb 2, Post Super Bowl Thread

    Ninerdave:
    Credit where credit is due.
    While the pre game was idiotic, the stadium shots from the Goodyear Tunch were awesome.

    2/2 Tunch photo series, Super Bowl day after

    ChrisB:
    Being relatively new to your site (commenting occasionally for several months, reading it regularly since the summer), I did not consider it appropriate for me to comment on Tunch’s weight.

    I am wondering, however, did you have to push hard to roll him over like that?

    Media Browski:
    John,
    Could you post a picture of Tunch next to a something that would let us judge his size objectively, like perhaps a Caterpillar Tractor or Rush Limbaugh?

    2/19 The Cat Diet

    dr. bloor:
    Hmmmm…at this point, I suspect the easiest way for Tunch to shed those unwanted pounds would be to graft some opposable thumbs onto his paws and teach him how to use Photoshop.

    Socraticsilence:
    I hope he can safely pass the poor orange Tabby he seems to be excreting in the last picture.

    3/4 Perpetual Bitch-Slap Machine

    Mentis Fugit:
    I heard that Garfield tells “Tunch jokes”.

    3/5 Scenes from the TunchCam 2009 (photo of Tunch sitting up screaming at John):

    AhabTRuler:
    Huh! He can support his own weight. I guess I lost five bucks!

    5/3 Open Thread

    Harlana Pepper: btw, my niece found a turkish van kitteh at work and found a home for it – just thot I’d mention it, isn’t it the general consensus that Tunch is a portly version of a turkish van?

    2th&nayle @harlana pepper: I think it’s more the general consensus that Tunch is a portly version of a turkey ham!

    5/15 New Toy

    Lesley:
    I can picture Tunch when he’s old, using an electric chair-lift to get up the stairs.

    Tunch Cam Premiers! 5/22

    HumboldtBlue:
    Which one of those objects was the couch? The big furry thing that didn’t move, or the other thing that looked like it was covered in a blanket?

    Tunch Cam Round 2, 5/22

    HyperIon @jl:
    Poor Tunch is weak and can barely move.

    yeah, that toy makes him look fat.

    Jon H:
    You need a timelapse video.

    Jon H:
    He’s moving… in dimensions you can’t even imagine.

    March 24 Tunchcam 5

    You don’t say:
    Is Tunch ambulatory? We’ve only ever seen him on that blue blanket. Does he exist outside that small, blue background?

    Turgidson:
    His hind legs moved in this one. What a letdown.

    Louise:
    That cat moved maybe three times, and you call that “making a ruckus”? He must spend most of the day comatose.

    Memorial Day Open Thread (dog and man doing squats to Beatles tunes.)

    The Cat Who Would Be Tunch @Perry Como:
    /r/ John Cole and Tunch doing that routine.

    Tunch seems to have trouble rolling as it is, if the videos are any indication, nevermind doing squats.

    6/22 Sunday Afternoon Open Thread

    Betsy @asiangrrlMN:
    Hmm – I’m not really sure, actually! I think she weighs about 8 lbs? She’s just over a year. When we got her she was 5 months old and weighed 4 lbs. So I think she’s got a little bit more growing to do, but not much. She smaller than Tunch, but so is a Shetland pony.

    6/25 Detente (First photo of Tunch and Lily on futon together)

    dmsilev:
    Notice how the whole futon appears to be tilting down towards the cat end.

    The Grand Panjandrum:
    Jesus! When Tunch hauls ass, does he have to make two trips?

    Ditch Digger:
    You can just picture the mental conversation they are having:

    Lily: Look, i know its your damn futon, but this guy has me walking 9 miles a day, i’m not used to this. How much does he walk you every day?

    Tunch: Just keep talking cowboy…

    6/29 Monday Night Open Thread

    AkaDad@Phoebe:
    Yeah, I want to see Tunch eating – is there something we’re not supposed to see/know?

    His cat dish is actually a punch bowl.

    7/6 Picking up DougJ’s Slack

    gbear @Phoenix Woman:
    Totally off-topic, but is Tunch (the cat, not the former football player) a Turkish Van?

    Oh now that’s just being cruel. Tunch isn’t any bigger than a small Japanese sedan.

    7/7 Tues Night Open Thread

    Kris:
    I don’t understand why he is so fat if he eats from such a tiny bowl.
    What is in the bowl, lard?

    8/11 Tunchcam #8

    AkaDad:
    I think John needs to go into his basement, find the spot under the futon and add a few more support beams.

    11/17 Adoption Bleg (Tunch “Action” Video update)

    mextremist:
    ZOMG, that albino manatee is moving around!
    I always thought it had been to a taxidermist…

    Nov 28 Sat Night Open Thread

    SiubhanDuinne:
    John, could we please have a picture of Tunch sometime soon? I’m asking as nicely and politely as I know how.

    Dork @SiubhanDuinne: Just picture a morbidly obese white cat with a bad-ass attitute sitting on an ubiquitous futon scowling at the camera.

  6. General Winfield Stuck - December 31, 2009 | 6:19 pm · Link

    @Laura W:

    Jeebus LauraW! I always said BJ needs a Tunch historian. Every King should have one. Bravoskie!!

  7. General Winfield Stuck - December 31, 2009 | 6:21 pm · Link

    Personally, I never make fat Tunch jokes. That whole bad Karma thingy.

    edit- And there is no way in hell I will ever click on a Prince song. It will take extra trickery to complete that mission Mr. Cole/

    And Charlie is celebrating the new year in style. Pics later.

  8. freelancer - December 31, 2009 | 6:21 pm · Link

    @Laura W:

    Damn. That is a yeoman’s job of aggregating. Kudos for the hilarious roundup!

  9. Royston Vasey - December 31, 2009 | 6:23 pm · Link

    @Laura W: You wins teh Intertrons! Excellent!

  10. Royston Vasey - December 31, 2009 | 6:24 pm · Link

    @Royston Vasey: Oh and a Happy New Year to all here at BJ!

    I’m already living in a new decade (it’s gone mid-day on the 1st here in NZ)

  11. JenJen - December 31, 2009 | 6:25 pm · Link

    Kill myself? I was too busy shakin’ dat ass. December 31, 1999 was one of those great nights, the kind your grandparents told you you’d have.

    LauraW, I love you.

  12. AhabTRuler - December 31, 2009 | 6:28 pm · Link

    And Charlie is celebrating the new year in style. Pics later.

    You got him a hooker and an eight-ball?

  13. Fair Economist - December 31, 2009 | 6:28 pm · Link

    Laura W – lol! That was a post with some prep work!

  14. Cat Lady - December 31, 2009 | 6:29 pm · Link

    @Laura W:

    Wow. Impressive.

    They’re all worthy, but I vote for ChrisB on 2/2.

    I am wondering, however, did you have to push hard to roll him over like that?

    Just the right balance of snark and feigned innocence.

  15. General Winfield Stuck - December 31, 2009 | 6:31 pm · Link

    @AhabTRuler:

    You got him a hooker and an eight-ball?

    That’s for me. Charlie ain’t got no money. He gets extra treats and a party hat.

  16. meh - December 31, 2009 | 6:32 pm · Link

    so to end a really shitty 2009 on a good note, my wife is pregnant with the 2nd little one. I’ve been forbidden from telling anyone but you savages don’t count as “anyone” Yippee for me!

  17. Fair Economist - December 31, 2009 | 6:32 pm · Link

    Wow, 1999 makes me feel old. It was one of the first albums I bought. So when it became the millennial anthem I could say “wow, I remember when it came out and 2000 seemed so far away”.

    Now my history is history.

  18. barstoolcadaver - December 31, 2009 | 6:33 pm · Link

    The end of a decade, century and millennium. A once in a lifetime event that can only be experienced by a few lucky souls. So of course I spent it in the greatest style imaginable. Sick with the flu. Although the aural hallucinations were interesting.

  19. SIA aka ScreaminginAtlanta - December 31, 2009 | 6:34 pm · Link

    @meh: Hey meh! Congrats on little meh #2. Good news for new years eve. We need libs to reproduce more!

  20. danimal - December 31, 2009 | 6:36 pm · Link

    @JenJen:

    Kill myself? I was too busy shakin’ dat ass. December 31, 1999 was one of those great nights, the kind your grandparents told you you’d have.

    Damn, all I remember is that I had to go into the f#$#ing office early on New Year’s Day to see if the apocalypse Y2K bug had killed us all off.

  21. Tomlinson - December 31, 2009 | 6:36 pm · Link

    @Laura W:

    Applause!

  22. cleek - December 31, 2009 | 6:37 pm · Link

    @Laura W:

    sweeet !

  23. Keith - December 31, 2009 | 6:37 pm · Link

    Anyone catch Sully now apparently wanting the entire CIA chain of command fired? Sounds like he didn’t get that BB gun for x-mas this year.

  24. Tomlinson - December 31, 2009 | 6:38 pm · Link

    @meh:

    so to end a really shitty 2009 on a good note, my wife is pregnant with the 2nd little one. I’ve been forbidden from telling anyone but you savages don’t count as “anyone” Yippee for me!

    Congrats!

  25. Violet - December 31, 2009 | 6:40 pm · Link

    @Laura W:
    Excellent!

    Didn’t John say he was moving soon? Is that because Tunch has grown too big for his current house?

  26. AhabTRuler - December 31, 2009 | 6:40 pm · Link

    The end of a decade, century and millennium.

    Oh, so you are talking about 9 years ago then. The only thing that happened 10 years ago is that the first numeral of the year changed (and 1999 was played to death).

  27. Redshirt - December 31, 2009 | 6:40 pm · Link

    I miss Y2K! Or, specifically, I miss, still, that I missed the Y2K Gravytrain.

  28. KCinDC - December 31, 2009 | 6:40 pm · Link

    I don’t mean to be un-PC, but what definition of “terrorist” is NPR using? Aren’t the Taliban the other side in the war we’re fighting in Afghanistan? Do contractors working for your enemy’s intelligence service really count as civilians? If in WW2 an American had made a suicide attack on German “civilians” running an interrogation center, would that have been a terrorist attack?

    I mean, is any attack on our side a terrorist attack by definition? I know this is hardly the first example, but I’m just getting tired of the propaganda.

    I guess if we’re fighting a War on Terrorism, then anything our enemies do must be terrorism.

  29. Cat Lady - December 31, 2009 | 6:41 pm · Link

    @meh:

    Congratulations! I’m telling everyone I know that meh from Balloon Juice’s wife is having their second baby!

  30. cleek - December 31, 2009 | 6:42 pm · Link

    @KCinDC:

    I mean, is any attack on our side a terrorist attack by definition?

    yes.

    if a terrorist is someone who uses violence to influence a government or civilian populace (which is basically the USA PATRIOT (802c) definition), then everyone who fights against our military in order to change the way we treat their country is a terrorist.

  31. South of I-10 - December 31, 2009 | 6:42 pm · Link

    @Laura W: Ha! Have a glass of wine on me, that is hysterical!

  32. South of I-10 - December 31, 2009 | 6:44 pm · Link

    @meh: Awww Congratulations! Way to start off the new year with a bang!

  33. Violet - December 31, 2009 | 6:44 pm · Link

    @Keith:
    Yeah, just saw that. It’s going to be pretty funny – in a wry, sad kind of way – if they have hearings on this f^&k up and every single person in all jobs was following the rules as they were written. Especially if said rules were written during the Bush administration, which of course was known it’s eagle eye focus on Defeating Terrorists.

  34. Elisabeth - December 31, 2009 | 6:44 pm · Link

    @meh:

    Congratulations!

  35. freelancer - December 31, 2009 | 6:44 pm · Link

    Ten years ago today, you heard this song so much you wanted to kill yourself:

    Better than hearing this.

  36. liberty60 - December 31, 2009 | 6:44 pm · Link

    Looking at all the end-of-decade reviews has gotten me even more embittered than usual over the decade long reign of Repubs; here is a good link from Jason Linkins at Hufpo
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....08657.html

    His thrust is we are all Harry Whittington, the poor fuck who got shot in the face by Cheney, THEN APOLOGIZED TO CHENEY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.

    Every problem, from getting laid off, to getting our 401(k)s looted, to being foreclosed upon, is simply our fault, the fault of the losers and crybabies, never the fault of the John Galts on Wall Street, or Commander Codpiece and his tools in Washington.
    And for that, as Nooner would say, we must apologize, and keep on walking.

  37. Mark S. - December 31, 2009 | 6:48 pm · Link

    @meh:

    Congrats!

    @KCinDC:

    I’ve always thought that captured Taliban forces should be considered POW’s while Al-Qaeda should not. Of course, I also ascribe to the quaint, dirty hippie notion that it is illegal to torture anyone.

  38. Redshirt - December 31, 2009 | 6:48 pm · Link

    Man, Tunch jokes should be a genre of joke all their own – essentially, Garfield jokes, but more “punch in the throat”.

  39. MikeJ - December 31, 2009 | 6:51 pm · Link

    I’m disappointed my comment about Tunch being most of the mass in the universe was snubbed in the awards.

  40. General Winfield Stuck - December 31, 2009 | 6:53 pm · Link

    Politics is dead to me right now. Just don’t give a tinkers damn about the neverending stoopid. I didn’t care a whit for politics until the beginning of this soon to end decade, if I’m lucky, it was a ten year bug only. But I rarely am lucky.

  41. r€nato - December 31, 2009 | 6:53 pm · Link

    @KCinDC:

    now you’re catching on.

  42. Bad Horse's Filly - December 31, 2009 | 6:53 pm · Link

    @Laura W: Thank God I’d finished the diet coke before I read your post. You win!

  43. JenJen - December 31, 2009 | 6:53 pm · Link

    @danimal: I’m very sorry to hear that. I was nursing the Hangover of the Millennium that morning, and it was SO worth it.

  44. KCinDC - December 31, 2009 | 6:53 pm · Link

    @cleek, do you mean “someone not American who uses violence to influence a government or civilian populace”?

  45. General Winfield Stuck - December 31, 2009 | 6:54 pm · Link

    @freelancer: wouldn’t click that link for love nor money

  46. freelancer - December 31, 2009 | 6:55 pm · Link

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    You’d be right to do so.

    Limp Bizkit – 1999

  47. Maxwel - December 31, 2009 | 6:58 pm · Link

    Never heard it before, will never listen to it again.

  48. ThatLeftTurnInABQ - December 31, 2009 | 6:59 pm · Link

    @KCinDC:

    do you mean “someone not white Christian American who uses violence to influence a government or civilian populace”?

    That’s my last fixt for 2009. Happy New Year everybody!

  49. The Grand Panjandrum - December 31, 2009 | 7:00 pm · Link

    @Laura W: Excellent work! I’ll be laughing well into the new year with this trip down memory lane.

  50. SGEW - December 31, 2009 | 7:00 pm · Link

    Happy New Year, one and all!

  51. slag - December 31, 2009 | 7:02 pm · Link

    @Laura W: Bravo, Laura W! At the rate things are going, you could end up with a Tunch-sized compendium of Tunch jokes by the end of next year…Or at least a compendium the size of Tunch’s head…by the end of the next decade.

    My favorite:
    Jon H:
    He’s moving… in dimensions you can’t even imagine.

    Thanks for the laughs!

  52. AhabTRuler - December 31, 2009 | 7:03 pm · Link

    I’ve been here twice for New Years, and I really want to go again.
    Maybe next year.

  53. r€nato - December 31, 2009 | 7:03 pm · Link

    @liberty60:

    thanks for passing that on

    reading that made me want to shoot this decade in the face and make it apologize to me.

  54. slag - December 31, 2009 | 7:03 pm · Link

    @MikeJ: Link please.

  55. Laura W - December 31, 2009 | 7:03 pm · Link

    @MikeJ: I clearly did not read that thread I like to pretend have a life, you know) because your comment here made me howl.
    I apologize. A true oversight and a tragic one at that.
    (Edit: What slag said. Link please.)

  56. Svensker - December 31, 2009 | 7:07 pm · Link

    Laura W—fantastic.

    Meh—fantastic.

    Prince—was fantastic, but got old, at least that song (Raspberry Beret still makes me smile, tho).

    Gen Stuck, Sir—I’m with you. Politics is teh dull and I ain’t interested.

    Opening a very good bott-el (New Joisey pronunc) of red wine to go with the prime rib pot pie (frugal extravagance!) and am thinking about a Coke Float for desert. Disgusting, eh? But so worth it. This shitty decade is about over!

    And just for old times sake: Fuck George W. Bush.

  57. MikeJ - December 31, 2009 | 7:12 pm · Link

    @slag:
    Even pulled to the top of the page:

    http://www.balloon-juice.com/?p=27172

  58. trollhattan - December 31, 2009 | 7:15 pm · Link

    Laura W for teh win! A certain keyboard headed to dishwasher due to your efforts. And if Tunch reads this thread somebody’s gonna pay…aww who am I kidding, there will be hard stares and annoyed squeaking.

    I have it on Aussie authority it’s a fine new year so far—everybody enjoy yours!

  59. inugai_kenzo - December 31, 2009 | 7:16 pm · Link

    @Svensker:
    —w/asiangrrlMN’s rusty pitchfork!

    (ETA) Happy New Year! :>

  60. MikeJ - December 31, 2009 | 7:16 pm · Link

    @Svensker:

    (Raspberry Beret still makes me smile, tho).

    What was that REM/Warren Zevon band? They covered Raspberry Beret, and it’s still the version I first think of when I hear the title. Or when I walk down the sorbet aisle in the groc-e-ree store. Raspberry sorbet. And if it was warm I wouldn’t eat much more.

    Did I mention there was a line to get in the liquor store? Buncha fuckin alcoholics standing between me and my rye.

  61. Demo Woman - December 31, 2009 | 7:17 pm · Link

    Laura, Great job, the Tunch isn’t laughing though.

    @meh: Exactly who are you calling savages? Congrats to you and the misses!

  62. demkat620 - December 31, 2009 | 7:19 pm · Link

    Happy New Year Juicers!

    I am watching a really bad Nicholas Cage movie and drinking a Harp cuddled under my Snuggie.

    Getting old sux.

    demkat +2

  63. freelancer - December 31, 2009 | 7:20 pm · Link

    Jimi – Auld Lang Syne

    @demkat620:
    Windtalkers? Ghost Rider? Next? Wicker Man? Gone in 60 Seconds? Con Air? Knowing? Snakeeyes? Face/Off? Guarding Tess? Firebirds?

    For FSM sake be more specific!

  64. meh - December 31, 2009 | 7:20 pm · Link

    tytyty – considering my wife is a republican, its all about outnumbering her at this point…quite excited – oh and I’m calling people that cook rump roast in a crock pot a savage..

    also…go FSU tomorrow

    which btw – WTB a larger childcare tax credit, pst me.

    meh +3 and gaining speed….

  65. demkat620 - December 31, 2009 | 7:22 pm · Link

    @meh: Oh and congrats!

  66. ThatLeftTurnInABQ - December 31, 2009 | 7:23 pm · Link

    @Svensker:

    And just for old times sake: Fuck George W. Bush.

    Some classics never get old. That one’s a keeper.

    And in memory of Steve G.: “Fuck the fucking Yankees”

  67. gbear - December 31, 2009 | 7:24 pm · Link

    Ten years ago today, you heard this song so much you wanted to kill yourself:

    Funny how some things don’t change.

    Oh, and 2010 Prince thinks that teh geh marriage is perverse and unacceptable. Dink.

    Thanks for the h/t, Laura W. I knew I had landed at least one good Tunchline this year.

  68. SIA aka ScreaminginAtlanta - December 31, 2009 | 7:25 pm · Link

    @AhabTRuler: Oh yes. One of my favorite cities. That photo is beautiful.

  69. asiangrrlMN - December 31, 2009 | 7:28 pm · Link

    @Laura W: Love this post. Love it so much, I will marry it (since Tunch himself hasn’t accepted). My favorite is gbear’s.

    And, the thing I was most sick of that year was how it was ‘the new millennium’ the next year. Um, just, no.

  70. Corner Stone - December 31, 2009 | 7:29 pm · Link

    @AhabTRuler: Not to be too kitschy but Vegas at New Years is pretty full of win also.
    Never been to Amsterdam. It’s wayyy down my list. But that’s a great pic.

  71. SIA aka ScreaminginAtlanta - December 31, 2009 | 7:30 pm · Link

    @Svensker:

    And just for old times sake: Fuck George W. Bush.

    That just feels so familiar, and so right.

  72. Corner Stone - December 31, 2009 | 7:31 pm · Link

    @asiangrrlMN: Why can’t you take care of your gardening implements? Why are they all rusty and shiz?

  73. kommrade reproductive vigor - December 31, 2009 | 7:32 pm · Link

    No, I hated that song so much that on Jan. 27th, 1999 I did kill myself.

    Fortunately I believe in reincarnation and my anger at the fucking DJ’s who kept playing the song powered me through time so I wound up exactly as I had been. Only it was 2335, 31 Dec., 1999 and I only had to suffer through that damn song once more time.

    The End.

    Laura W. deserves a medal. Also.

  74. Col. Klink - December 31, 2009 | 7:33 pm · Link

    La multi ani din Romania!

  75. HRA - December 31, 2009 | 7:34 pm · Link

    @Laura W:

    Awesome!

    @meh:

    Congratulations!

  76. Martin - December 31, 2009 | 7:35 pm · Link

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ:

    Always fuck the fucking Yankees, but doubly so this year as the Times Square crowd will be especially assholish. I’ll be 3 timezones away, however.

    Martin +0, trying to have a productive day before he ramps up to double digits after dinner.

  77. asiangrrlMN - December 31, 2009 | 7:35 pm · Link

    And, New Year, I haz it. I will be completely off the grid for a few days, so carry on without me. Heh. Xin Xi Quai Le, bitchez!

    @meh: Woot! A bebe BJ’er! Congrats!

  78. asiangrrlMN - December 31, 2009 | 7:37 pm · Link

    @Corner Stone: The rain, the rain, the rain is on fi-uh! I make dem rusty just for poking purposes. Gung hay fat choi!

  79. Zuzu's Petals - December 31, 2009 | 7:37 pm · Link

    @SIA aka ScreaminginAtlanta:

    I cleaned out my bookcase and made sure to toss all the “W Sux” books in the giveaway box. Whew, did that feel good.

    No takers, though.

  80. KyCole - December 31, 2009 | 7:38 pm · Link

    Ten years ago I had 12 and 19 year old daughters, and a 15 year old son. Thus I had much better reasons to kill myself than anything Prince could come up with!
    By the way- I must mention that Bob Dylan”s Christmas CD is my new all time favorite.

  81. danimal - December 31, 2009 | 7:38 pm · Link

    @asiangrrlMN: I think the consensus was that the Nerds were right about the actual beginning of the new millineum (1/1/01) but that no one really cared.

    Kind of a trendsetter for the not-so-Reality-Based-Decade.

  82. robertdsc - December 31, 2009 | 7:41 pm · Link

    Love that list, Laura. <3 the Tunchinator!

    Congrats, Meh!

    And just for old times sake: Fuck George W. Bush.

    No fucking doubt.

  83. SIA aka ScreaminginAtlanta - December 31, 2009 | 7:43 pm · Link

    @Zuzu’s Petals: Hey good idea. Think I’ll throw away my “Dumb & Dumber” refrigerator magnet featuring George Bush I & George Bush the Lesser. Just to start the year out right.

  84. WereBear - December 31, 2009 | 7:43 pm · Link

    Thanks, Laura W, for all the Tunch jokes. There were a few I missed…

  85. jurassicpork - December 31, 2009 | 7:43 pm · Link

    While you’re all waiting for the crystal ball to drop in Times Sq., amuse yourself by a collection of 30 of the most epic studio portrait fails in the last half of the 20th century, with original captions.

  86. gbear - December 31, 2009 | 7:45 pm · Link

    @Svensker:

    And just for old times sake: Fuck George W. Bush.

    Wonkette agrees.

    Don’t watch the video or you’ll have to kill yourself. I’m not lying.

  87. Bad Horse's Filly - December 31, 2009 | 7:46 pm · Link

    L-Dub, not to bring up a painful subject, but this is the person who started me on my Kangoo obsession. I thought you might like to see who is really to blame and what Kangoos have done to him:

    Kangoo-Dead

    Edit: Why does Rush get to be a lead story on the news tonight? Well I suppose if beached whales make the news, he can, too.

  88. Mnemosyne - December 31, 2009 | 7:47 pm · Link

    @JenJen:

    December 31, 1999 was one of those great nights, the kind your grandparents told you you’d have.

    My 12/31/99 was spent sitting in a conference room at the hospital I worked at at the time waiting to see if our computer systems were going to fail at midnight.

    Man, that sucked. 2000 was much better since that was my first New Year’s with my now-hubby.

  89. geg6 - December 31, 2009 | 7:47 pm · Link

    Laura W, I adore you. meh, congrats on the impending Baby meh. Prince is fucking awesome and I refuse to listen to anyone who disagrees…(Fingers in ears) la la la la. Fuck the Aughts, they sucked donkey balls. Good riddance. And my new year is starting well. The car problem I thought for sure was going to be the computer, the starter, the battery (best case scenario) was a $.57 fix. Just a bad battery terminal clamp. Only had to buy a new bolt. But someone should waterboard whoever designed the engine compartment and put the battery behind a wall in front of the front passenger wheel, necessitating taking the tire off to get to it. Fucking engineers. Idiots, every single one. Off to my John’s for dinner, vino, bubbly, and fun. Happy new year, Juicers!

  90. kommrade reproductive vigor - December 31, 2009 | 7:53 pm · Link

    In AsiangrrlMN’s honor: FUCK GEORGE WALKER BUSH WITH A 1936 COMBINE HARVESTER THAT’S BEEN SITTING IN A LEAKY BARN FOR 6 DECADES, COATED IN THE SHIT AND PELLETS OF GENERATIONS OF BARN OWLS AND NEVER CLEANED. TWICE!

    p.s. Google looks different. Is it me, Google or Firefox?

  91. SIA aka ScreaminginAtlanta - December 31, 2009 | 7:53 pm · Link

    @jurassicpork: OK I’m having nightmares tonight. But this one was hilarious. Find the photo that goes with this caption.

    Poor Wayne and Jeffery had the misfortune of getting the only child photographer in North America who focused his young clients with a headless rabbit.

  92. Corner Stone - December 31, 2009 | 7:54 pm · Link

    @asiangrrlMN: Actually, I was looking for “Cause it’ll ert moar!”
    In honor of one of the many fetishes you have.
    But yeah, rock on time traveler.

  93. Terri - December 31, 2009 | 7:55 pm · Link

    Tomorrow kicks off the year long celebration of my 50th birthday. Have a whole bucket list of shit I want to do. So, lock up the silverware and hide the chirrens. It’s gonna be a wild one.

    Thank God and John Cole for this blog. It gives me a place to come and muse over the clusterfuck that politics in this country have become, without wanting to shoot someone. Well, I still want to shoot someone, but I don’t, because here I realize I’m not alone. Thanks to all the BJers who teach me and make me laugh.

    Finally, thank you to whatever Supreme Being that saw fit to give Rush Limbaugh chest pains. I realize it doesn’t sound very nice to say that, but I’ve never played well with others, and the thought of that fat fucker in pain, really made the end of my year. A bowel obstruction would have been much more fitting and debilitating, but a this point in my life, I’ve learned to appreciate small gestures.

    Happy New Year everybody! Be safe.

    Terri+3

  94. mcd - December 31, 2009 | 7:58 pm · Link

    If you haven’t seen the Sanchez take-down of Ensign re: his mistress, it’s worth a look. On occasion, things really do work they way they’re supposed to.

  95. SIA aka ScreaminginAtlanta - December 31, 2009 | 7:58 pm · Link

    @AhabTRuler: You have some wonderful photos on your flickr site! I liked the cat video, but the music reminds me of a pr0n movie I saw back in the 80’s. :)
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/3.....200297611/

  96. The Moar You Know - December 31, 2009 | 8:00 pm · Link

    In socialized medicine, government health care—you heard him say, the overweight are to blame. Yeah, folks, I gotta tell you something. I think those of you that regularly exercise—playing softball, baseball, basketball, soccer, mountain biking, running, rock climbing, skiing, skating, running—you’re the people getting injured. You’re the people showing up at the hospital with busted knees and tendons and skin cancer, ankle sprains, knee and hip replacements, broken bones, concussions, muscle, ligament, tendon, cartilage strains and tears, tendinitis, rotator cuff tears. All you exercise freaks, you’re the ones putting stress on the health care system. What happens when people don’t regularly exercise and keep their weight relatively under control? Nothing! They probably don’t even know their doctors’ names. So you’re urging to go out there do all of this stuff and you’re ending up in the hospital all the time with these injuries and some people think these injuries are badges of honor. A knee surgery scars a badge of honor shows toughness. Yeah. Toughness, somebody else has to pay for.”

    -Rush Limbaugh, who I hope continues his current fitness regimen of Oxycontin and boy rape.

  97. Jean - December 31, 2009 | 8:00 pm · Link

    You know who isn’t laughing at Tunch Jokes? The helicopters.

  98. John O - December 31, 2009 | 8:01 pm · Link

    Happy New Year, BJ.

    I’m getting perverse joy out of watching military football teams kick ass, am happy this year and decade are over, and am +3 and wondering if I’ll see midnight, but the year was so bad I think I will just to wish it death.

    Cheers to one of the smartest and funniest blogs in the ‘sphere.

  99. Bad Horse's Filly - December 31, 2009 | 8:03 pm · Link

    Happy New Year to all!

    Just received word moments ago that my cousin will be discharged on Tuesday, her progress is that amazing. Everyone in the family is thrilled. I’m still a bit stunned at near death to discharged in a little over 2 months. I really don’t know how her parents are still functional.

    But a great way to start the new year in my little corner of the world.

  100. The Moar You Know - December 31, 2009 | 8:04 pm · Link

    Losing Weight Does Not Require Exercise

    More brilliant fitness advice from a whale of a radio host that is currently beached in a Honolulu hospital. Hopefully, the gurney is properly reinforced.

    Sadly, last reports have this paragon of American intellect still alive.

  101. SIA aka ScreaminginAtlanta - December 31, 2009 | 8:05 pm · Link

    @Bad Horse’s Filly: So glad for your family. I must have missed it when that happened, but very glad the news is good.

  102. SIA aka ScreaminginAtlanta - December 31, 2009 | 8:08 pm · Link

    @mcd: I saw that – amazing. Ensign looks rough.

  103. John O - December 31, 2009 | 8:10 pm · Link

    Rick Sanchez entertains me from time to time, but one of my ‘09 successes was turning off cable “news” and chat.

    It’s hard to tell if it helped.

  104. slag - December 31, 2009 | 8:11 pm · Link

    @MikeJ: Hilarious! And true. Now that Lily’s around, Tunch is like a black hole.

  105. Cat Lady - December 31, 2009 | 8:11 pm · Link

    @Jean:

    I see what you did there.

  106. Svensker - December 31, 2009 | 8:12 pm · Link

    @jurassicpork:

    Ha ha ha. The headless rabbit comment is perfection.

  107. Svensker - December 31, 2009 | 8:12 pm · Link

    @Bad Horse’s Filly:

    Yay. Focuses the priorities, dunnit.

  108. arguingwithsignposts - December 31, 2009 | 8:22 pm · Link

    @Jean:

    And a special happy new year to Michael Gass. I’m sure JC and Doug are enjoying the credenzas he faxed over. (that was an epic thread. Balloon Boy, oh, Balloon Boy, we miss you so)

  109. Steeplejack - December 31, 2009 | 8:27 pm · Link

    @meh:

    Congratulations!

  110. Mike G - December 31, 2009 | 8:33 pm · Link

    Ten years ago this evening I was at the hospital where I worked in IT support, where panicky management demanded all the IT staff and all department heads be on site for the expected disaster at midnight.

    Me and the other IT guy had pretty much worked out that nothing would happen (with a certainty which rose to 100% at 4pm when the servers using UTC (similar to Greenwich Mean Time) ticked past midnight without incident), so we were the calmest guys in the building.

    At midnight we celebrated the new millenium with several rounds of surreptitious drinks in the IT office. For the managers it was the culmination of a year of needless panic (potential for riots! societal collapse!) and useless paperwork and meetings for Y2K demanded by clueless consultants, and us IT peons pissed them off greatly by saying we knew months ago that nothing would happen.

    We found some empty patient rooms and slept off our celebrations and went home in the morning.

  111. Mnemosyne - December 31, 2009 | 8:34 pm · Link

    @The Moar You Know:

    Much as I hate to say it, he’s sorta right. Weight loss depends a lot more on food intake than exercise. If you’re not watching what you eat, exercise will only go so far because you won’t be able to get rid of the excess calories through exercise alone. (Unless you devolve all the way into exercise bulimia, but no one advises that.)

    However, maintaining weight loss requires some exercise, so getting at least moderate exercise while you’re losing weight is a good habit to get into.

    Hey, even Rush has to have a stopped-clock moment every once in a while, right?

  112. Steeplejack - December 31, 2009 | 8:47 pm · Link

    @Bad Horse’s Filly:

    That’s great news going into the new year.

  113. Betsy - December 31, 2009 | 8:57 pm · Link

    Laura W = Her Awesomeness.
    @Bad Horse’s Filly:
    Hell yeah!! That’s wonderful news. Happy new year, indeed.

    @asiangrrlMN: Aww. You will be missed ‘round these here parts.

  114. Betsy - December 31, 2009 | 8:58 pm · Link

    @meh:
    Mazel tov!! When is the baby due?

  115. SIA aka ScreaminginAtlanta - December 31, 2009 | 9:01 pm · Link

    Just curious, any BJ’ers ever lived in Italy or England for a period of a year or more? Off chance we may have an opportunity for my SO to work abroad for a few years. I am such a homebody it’s hard for me to imagine, but it’s an exciting thought too.

  116. Steeplejack - December 31, 2009 | 9:03 pm · Link

    You guys be hatin’ on the Tunch tonight. But let’s not forget his finest hour in ‘09—the GOP.am pwnage raid of December 14.

    White paw of death, bitchez!

  117. Svensker - December 31, 2009 | 9:34 pm · Link

    @Steeplejack:

    But let’s not forget his finest hour in ‘09—the GOP.am pwnage raid of December 14.

    And notice it says “Download the Large Size” ? The jokes write themselves on the intertubes.

  118. Steeplejack - December 31, 2009 | 9:36 pm · Link

    @Svensker:

    Hey, Tunch only comes in the one size!

  119. Happy Freaking New Year - December 31, 2009 | 11:19 pm · Link

    Another 40 minutes and we can put 09 to bed. Dick Clark and heir apparent Ryan Seacrest welcome in 2010. Just to date myself I remember when it used to be Guy Lombardo, a bag of Ruffles potato chips and a bowl of french onion dip. Anyhow, here’s hoping that 2010 does’t suck as much as 2009 did.

  120. Platonicspoof - January 1, 2010 | 1:50 am · Link

    @Laura W:
    Can I nominate one more comment for the ‘Tunch Is Fat’ list?
    From Dec. 09, 2009: Ho! Ho! Uh-Oh!
    Comment 21:
    ethan salto
    It’s cute how those cats are all huddling together and it looks like one giant Voltron cat!

  121. asiangrrlMN - January 1, 2010 | 3:55 am · Link

    @Betsy: Thanks, Betsy. I miss y’all, too. And, I miss Tunchie very much.

    @Steeplejack: I NEVER hate on Tunchie-Wunchie. I lurves him.

  122. estamm - January 1, 2010 | 8:54 am · Link

    God, I hate Prince. I hate his misogyny. I hate his arrogance. I hate his cutesy way of ‘abbreviating’ words with letters and number (‘2’ instead of ‘too’) like he is illiterate but doesn’t want anyone to know. I hate the way he treats his guitar like a penis. His ‘music’ sucks. How this creep became famous is totally beyond my comprehension.


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