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Make The White Queen Run So Fast, She Hasn’t Got Time / To Make You Wise

by Tim F.

Writing for TPM, Ben Frumin reads the drivel so you don’t have to.

In a blog post on her website titled “It might be time now,” birther queen Orly Taitz seemed to suggest today a call to arms against President Obama.

Here’s the problem for Taitz and the rest of her psycho brigade. Rightwing punditry has left behind syndicated folk like George Will and Charles Krauthammer. Honestly, when was the last time that your far-right uncle got worked up about a Krauthammer column in the Post? Rightwing opinion has evolved into something much more like a free market, where professional hawkers like Limbaugh and Glenn Beck compete in a zero-sum game for attention with fly-by-night con artists like Sam Wurzelbacher and Orly Taitz.

Consistent with the free market idea, nobody on the right has “tenure” any more. South Carolina Republicans censured Lindsey Graham basically for talking with Dems about climate change. Teabagger leaders are basically at each other’s throats over who isn’t running right fast enough to keep up with the fringe. Rush Limbaugh knows better than anyone who his mob would turn on next if he told everyone to take a breath and calm down for a minute.

Orly needs to come up with something new and outrageouser just to keep up. Once your camp basically agrees that expanding health insurance coverage is literally worse than Hitler, where do you go? Even in America there are some things that you can’t quite say out loud. Did team teabag paint itself in a corner? Will a few overenthusiastic martyrs to the few speech laws we do have prove good for the cause? We should find out in a month or two.

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December 28, 2009 9:06 pm Posted in: Teabagger Stupidity, The Wingularity  137 Comments

137 Responses

  1. El Cid - December 28, 2009 | 9:09 pm · Link

    Read carefully the original quote from investigator / dentist / real estate agent Taitz:

    our second amendment right to bare arms and organise in militias

    OMG it’s a plot by Michelle Obama!

  2. Spork - December 28, 2009 | 9:10 pm · Link

    this: from the moar you know.

  3. beltane - December 28, 2009 | 9:13 pm · Link

    Are you saying the right wing has figuratively blown off their balls with their amazing pyrotechnical display? What will Act II bring when the entirety of their plot has been revealed in the opening scenes of Act !?

  4. Dannie22 - December 28, 2009 | 9:14 pm · Link

    Whatever Orly. Just, whatever.

  5. El Cid - December 28, 2009 | 9:17 pm · Link

    @beltane: The flashback?

  6. Laura W - December 28, 2009 | 9:18 pm · Link

    AWESOME TITLE.
    I just wanted to say that first.

  7. Comrade Jake - December 28, 2009 | 9:19 pm · Link

    I feel like these stories are always incomplete without the accompanying graphics.

  8. beltane - December 28, 2009 | 9:23 pm · Link

    @El Cid: That will be very tiresome. The GOP has become one of those movies where if you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen the whole thing.

  9. Kobie - December 28, 2009 | 9:26 pm · Link

    She’s just a peach!

  10. Dilbatt - December 28, 2009 | 9:33 pm · Link

    When the Feds come to visit, she can say that she meant people should go sleeveless.

  11. Sanka - December 28, 2009 | 9:42 pm · Link

    More from the TPM post:

    It’s not entirely clear what Taitz means here, though it does sound a lot like a call for armed militias to rally against the president.

    Shorter Tim F.: SARAH PALIN! WINGNUTS! RIGHT-WING TERRORISM!

    The lefty fringe is just aching, PINING for some lunatic who logged onto the Freeper website to start blowing people away. Stay classy, moonbats.

    Clearly, the Republicans are to blame for healthcare “reform” not being able to sail smoothly through a Democratically-controlled majorities in Congress and a Democratically-controlled White House.

    Also:

    Teabagger Progressive leaders are basically at each other’s throats over who isn’t running to the left right fast enough to keep up with proponents of healthcare reform the fringe

    The poo flies from both sides.

  12. danimal - December 28, 2009 | 9:42 pm · Link

    This is why the GOP tea party movement is doomed to failure. Where do they go from here?

    Republican overreach has always been their achilles heel and now they have burned all bridges to the sane world with the tea party movement. Independents will wake up in late summer/early fall and decide if they are motivated to vote. The crazies will have increased their craziness exponentially and the sober, cautious party will look good in comparison. Call it my take on the 11 dimension chess match if you want, but it’s common sense as well.

    In other words, when the Hitler death panels aren’t killing grandma in fall 2010, the tea partiers will look silly to a majority of Americans. Lies and bluster can get you far in American politics, but eventually the truth wins out.

  13. Midnight Marauder - December 28, 2009 | 9:45 pm · Link

    @beltane:

    That will be very tiresome. The GOP has become one of those movies where if you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen the whole thing.

    The GOP is a terrible Dane Cook movie?

    @Sanka:

    Clearly, the Republicans are to blame for healthcare “reform” not being able to sail smoothly through a Democratically-controlled majorities in Congress and a Democratically-controlled White House.

    You know, for a regularly appearing moran troll here, you sure don’t bother paying attention to ANYTHING that is discussed.

  14. Liberty60 - December 28, 2009 | 9:47 pm · Link

    A bit O/T, but over at Sadly, No! they have a hilarious riff on McCarthy at NRO

    Resurrecting an old piece where McCarthy praises treating terrorists under criminal laws, versus his hysteria at doing the same today

  15. Corey - December 28, 2009 | 9:47 pm · Link

    @danimal:

    In other words, when the Hitler death panels aren’t killing grandma in fall 2010, the tea partiers will look silly to a majority of Americans. Lies and bluster can get you far in American politics, but eventually the truth wins out.

    Yeah, this is the same Republican party who said that Social Security would turn the US into a fascist state, who demagogued against Medicare by invoking a bleak post-apocalyptic landscape where doctors can’t practice medicine, etc. And yet they consistently get about half of the vote in every federal election.

    Nothing they say can discredit them – they learned that a long time ago.

  16. Kobie - December 28, 2009 | 9:53 pm · Link

    @Sanka: A couple of quibbles …

    1. What the FUCK does health care reform have to do with that batshit crazy loon Orly Taitz?

    2. Nobody’s “aching or pining” for anything, you asshole. We point out these people because the right refuses to police its own. Anything goes if it’s anti-Obama.

    3. Poo does fly from both sides. Ours doesn’t urge people to gun up and join militias.

    Piss off, troll.

  17. The Sheriff's a Ni- - December 28, 2009 | 9:56 pm · Link

    The lefty wingnut fringe is just aching, PINING for some lunatic who logged onto the Freeper website to start blowing people that uppity negro away.

    Fixed that for you. Not as if you or your birthtard pal Drive-Thru Witless ever stay after thinking you dropped a turd in the punchbowl. Stay classy, 29 percenter, and next time don’t overcook my damn fries.

  18. Notorious P.A.T. - December 28, 2009 | 10:02 pm · Link

    Once your camp basically agrees that expanding health insurance coverage is literally worse than Hitler, where do you go?

    Exactly. Where? Start a petition? Run for city council? Organize a boycott? None of those things can silence the voices in your head. Why did McVeigh bomb the Murrah building? What else could he do?

  19. Joe Buck - December 28, 2009 | 10:02 pm · Link

    Taitz’s 15 minutes are basically up. She’s embarrassing even to her fellow birther wingnuts. She might be trying to prolong her fame by getting herself arrested and becoming a martyr.

  20. El Cid - December 28, 2009 | 10:05 pm · Link

    @Joe Buck: Maybe.

  21. The Moar You Know - December 28, 2009 | 10:12 pm · Link

    @Spork: Orly’s butthurt lover and his precious, blubbering, crazy tears. It never gets old.

  22. Joshua Norton - December 28, 2009 | 10:16 pm · Link

    Even in America there are some things that you can’t quite say out loud.

    Maybe once upon a time, but with the likes of Malkin, Coulter, Fox, Limpballs, Beck et al. slapping it out for their cut of the “conservative business”, there isn’t any more.

    At first they did it in a giggly “I’m so not PC” way that was just supposed to get under liberal’s skin. Now they have to maintain an ever-increasing level of hysteria just to keep their current audiences satisfied and coming back the next day.

    They’ll burn themselves out someday, but in their desperation to avoid that nothing is off limits any more.

  23. burnspbesq - December 28, 2009 | 10:17 pm · Link

    @Joe Buck:

    I have a nasty smirk on my face imagining the reception Orly Taitz will get in the OC Women’s Jail.

    Thanks for triggering that image.

  24. Seebach - December 28, 2009 | 10:17 pm · Link

    What the fuck do you do while you’re waiting the 48 hours before turning on a computer soaked with water?

  25. El Cid - December 28, 2009 | 10:20 pm · Link

    @Joshua Norton:

    Now they have to maintain an ever-increasing level of hysteria just to keep their current audiences satisfied and coming back the next day.

    I’d like to see a timeline of crazy for this. I imagine at the end it’s just people screaming at the camera while they bash statues of Obama-Hitler-Mao made out of canned pasta.

  26. monkeyboy - December 28, 2009 | 10:20 pm · Link

    Tim’s title:

    Make The White Queen Run So Fast, She Hasn’t Got Time / To Make You Wise

    Ummm, don’t you mean a Red queen race?

    “Well, in our country,” said Alice, still panting a little, “you’d generally get to somewhere else — if you run very fast for a long time, as we’ve been doing.”

    “A slow sort of country!” said the Queen. “Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!”

    [hmm. It seems that WP input no longer can handle multiple paragraph blockquotes. So I resort to my html fuckery of replacing each internal blank line with 2 underscores ]

  27. Corner Stone - December 28, 2009 | 10:26 pm · Link

    All Day is nasty wit’ it.

  28. Corner Stone - December 28, 2009 | 10:27 pm · Link

    @Seebach: Some would suggest copious foot massages.

  29. J. Michael Neal - December 28, 2009 | 10:29 pm · Link

    @monkeyboy:

    Ummm, don’t you mean a Red queen race?

    No, he doesn’t.

  30. J. Michael Neal - December 28, 2009 | 10:31 pm · Link

    @burnspbesq:

    I have a nasty smirk on my face imagining the reception Orly Taitz will get in the OC Women’s Jail.

    I always enjoy a good Women in Prison movie. Chained Heat II for the win.

  31. freelancer - December 28, 2009 | 10:36 pm · Link

    @Joshua Norton:

    They so two thousand and late.

  32. Spork - December 28, 2009 | 10:39 pm · Link

    @The Moar You Know I don’t care if that is real or not. If it is, performance art is pointless from here on out. I mean, where can Sadly, No go? Where can Jesus’s General go? There’s just no point to it anymore. We’ve reached the Poe horizon. And emopants.

  33. Midnight Marauder - December 28, 2009 | 10:39 pm · Link

    @freelancer:

    They so two thousand and late.

    You have outdone yourself this evening. Kudos.

    +1

  34. Corner Stone - December 28, 2009 | 10:45 pm · Link

    Shankhoe!

  35. srv - December 28, 2009 | 10:52 pm · Link

    It’s a sad day when the Evangelicals aren’t keeping up. I’d have given high odds on an Antichrist meme, but it hasn’t happened. I blame anti-depressant abuse.

    You know what really makes me smile? Rush must be really hitting the drugs again trying to cope with Beck’s wild popularity. He is no longer #1, and that has got to piss him off to no end.

  36. Corner Stone - December 28, 2009 | 10:53 pm · Link

    Cutler just threw that ball? Really?
    That was unmistakably bad. Just goshawful bad.

  37. pj - December 28, 2009 | 10:54 pm · Link

    Thursday, June 23, 2005 ( FOX NEWS )
    WASHINGTON — Democrats said Thursday that White House adviser Karl Rove should either apologize or resign for accusing liberals of wanting “therapy and understanding” for the Sept. 11 attackers, escalating partisan rancor that threatens to consume Washington.

    Monday, Dec. 28, 2009 ( ABC NEWS )
    Two of the four leaders allegedly behind the al Qaeda plot to blow up a Northwest Airlines passenger jet over Detroit were released by the U.S. from the Guantanamo prison in November, 2007, according to American officials and Department of Defense documents. Al Qaeda claimed responsibility for the Northwest bombing in a Monday statement that vowed more attacks on Americans. American officials agreed to send the two terrorists from Guantanamo to Saudi Arabia where they entered into an “art therapy rehabilitation program” and were set free, according to U.S. and Saudi officials.

  38. Royston Vasey - December 28, 2009 | 10:55 pm · Link

    @Corner Stone: Skanky ho?

  39. freelancer - December 28, 2009 | 10:55 pm · Link

    @Midnight Marauder:

    You have outdone yourself this evening. Kudos.

    nigga please. I’m glad I’m amusing everyone only 1 person at a time. This is unique. I’m amazed at the restraint of the rest of you til your turn comes up.

    Get this. My dad is the king of passive aggressive voicemails. He’s awesome to hang out with, but if he needs you to do something or he wants you to show up at some arcane family thing you never intended to go to anyways, you’ll get a VM that just bludgeons you with the biggest guilt trip ever, in his perfect Dad tone of voice that says “I love you, you bear my name, and I don’t want to be disappointed in you. Please show up, or you’ll make grandma cry.”
    No voicemail for me today. He was thankful. He fucking sent me an email!

    thanks for coming over for Xmass. I really thank you for not getting into a political fight with Kim

    I was gobsmacked. (My mom’s sister and I went the full 13 rounds in the Summer of 2004, where she couldn’t shut up about Bush Cheney, and she had all the purple heart bandaid shit, it was pitiful and now she’s a teabagger who claims she never supported the Republicans.)
    So I sent a reply:

    Dad, it was no problem. Way back when (2003-2004) I was just getting informed about political issues and I was spoiling for a fight. Now, I know that most of the activism on both sides (at least with the people who talk about it constantly) is based on nothing more than people trying to feel better about themselves by projecting every positive thing onto their side, and making enemies of another side. It’s primitive tribalism for the 21st century, and I think our family does a decent job of avoiding a lot of that.
    ...
    Kim’s a provocateur who maniacally needs to spread the word about everything she deems important, whether people are more informed than her doesn’t matter. It’s not about issues, it’s about her. I get that, and I tried to be a little more adult about it. (Though yesterday I did kind of snap back at her. They showed riot footage from Iran on the news and Kim said “That’s what America’s gonna look like in a few years.” and I had had it at that point and I just said, “Stop it.” “What?” “That is batshit insane. It’s completely insane, Iran is the most Westernized country in the middle east, and they are protesting the illegitimacy of the theocratic government after the Ayatollahs rigged the election last June. To think that America is going to riot against its government because Obama gets re-elected is just plain crazy.”)
    ...
    P.S. don’t bake that extra pan of Cornflake Potatoes. I must have it.
    ...
    Cat’s in the cradle, silver spoon, all that jazz,
    Nick

    Now that a democrat is president again, I’m thinking about applying for an NEA grant to turn the last 4 days into some kind of performance art.
    96 hours with a wingnut, it’s my new one man show.
    freelancer+3

  40. Seebach - December 28, 2009 | 11:12 pm · Link

    @pj: Obama should never have let those suspects go in November 2007.

  41. Something Fabulous - December 28, 2009 | 11:13 pm · Link

    @freelancer: Setting aside entirely what I concede to be the real point of your post for the moment (and good for you, btw w/your newfound fortitude)... what on EARTH are “cornflake potatoes”??

  42. freelancer - December 28, 2009 | 11:17 pm · Link

    @Something Fabulous:

    http://www.grouprecipes.com/sr.....es/recipe/

    http://i.ehow.com/images/Globa.....n_Full.jpg

    I’m half Irish, so I love potatoes in damn near any iteration, but if you haven’t tried them this way, you have had them as God intended them. My family also bakes them with diced onion.
    To. die. for.

  43. Corner Stone - December 28, 2009 | 11:20 pm · Link

    Oh man I love you AP.

  44. Royston Vasey - December 28, 2009 | 11:21 pm · Link

    @Something Fabulous: The world is waiting for this revelation.

    Bring forth the “cornflake potatoes”!

  45. Corner Stone - December 28, 2009 | 11:23 pm · Link

    @freelancer:

    I’m half Irish,

    How can you be 1/2 Irish yet 100% asshole?

    Wait, I guess those aren’t mutually exclusive.

  46. Midnight Marauder - December 28, 2009 | 11:24 pm · Link

    @Corner Stone:

    Oh man I love you AP.

    Well, I’ll be damned. Look at Jay Culter getting big!

  47. Corner Stone - December 28, 2009 | 11:24 pm · Link

    Jay Cutler. Really?

  48. Corner Stone - December 28, 2009 | 11:25 pm · Link

    @Corner Stone: Kickin’ it with the Captain!

  49. soonergrunt - December 28, 2009 | 11:27 pm · Link

    @pj:
    pj—thanks for that great example of conservatard mismanagement. I can’t believe those stupid fuckers let these terrorists go. Of course, since the leader of the republican party at the time was George W. Bush, and the Bush family are as deep in bed with the Saudis as anyone can get, it makes total sense that the terrorists that republicans let go would go into Saudi art appreciation classes. I guess that whole thing Karl Rove did was to telegraph stupid shit that Bush was doing on behalf of the Saudi royal family and knowing that it would look bad, he tried to portray it as something we Democrats would do.
    Thanks for catching this and reminding us all. I knew that Conservatives are complete fuckwits deserving of nothing but scorn, but sometimes you have to be reminded just how completely useless they are as Americans and human beings.

  50. GregB - December 28, 2009 | 11:27 pm · Link

    The idiot teabaggers and bagettes blew their Obama is Hitler wad a little early.

    Their only hope is to raise alarms about stimulus funds being used to build a railway system that will be used to ship them off to the gas chambers.

    -G

  51. Violet - December 28, 2009 | 11:29 pm · Link

    We should find out in a month or two.

    Why a month or two? Isn’t that like declaring Peak Wingnut is just around the corner? I thought that had been debunked many times over.

  52. smith - December 28, 2009 | 11:35 pm · Link

    If I didn’t fear that some lunatic a-hole was going to plug Obama, I would laugh my ass off at the Teabaggers and the various wingnut “revolutions.”

    Besides, according to some letter writer….er Klansman…in my local newspaper, “Obamacare” is the devil and a plot against white people to give all their hard-earned money to those damn “darkies”, illegal aliens, etc. ‘Cause ya know, only white people are hard-working, salt-of-the-earth people.

    It’s getting to be a comedy show with the 29%ers. These people aren’t even trying too hard anymore – I’ve heard more racist crap the past year then my previous 30 years on earth.

  53. freelancer (itouch) - December 28, 2009 | 11:42 pm · Link

    @Corner Stone:

    Boulevard Pale Ale

    http://www.blvdbeer.com/paleale.htm

    +4

    why can’t we be friends?

    /emopants

  54. Corner Stone - December 28, 2009 | 11:46 pm · Link

    @freelancer (itouch): I’ve never cared for pale ales, even when I could drink them.
    These seemed to be the order of the day, back in the day:
    Stout bitchez

    We’re buds Cap’t Emo, no pants worries.

  55. wag - December 28, 2009 | 11:53 pm · Link

    What the fuck is Sanka:”&gt? I always thought it was weak lousy tasting instant decaf. Not a nom de plum that I would think of in a pithy moment, but to each their own….

  56. Yutsano - December 28, 2009 | 11:54 pm · Link

    @wag: That could be the crux of the problem. We don’t touch that shit up here.

  57. Socraticsilence - December 28, 2009 | 11:55 pm · Link

    @Sanka:

    Waiting- Um, buddy its already happened- the right’s been killing the left for years here’s just the recent sampling:
    THe assassination of George Tiller, The Pittsburgh Cop Killer, The Unitarian Church Shooter—all loud and proud members of the right- heck, the Church shooter has outright admitted to attempting to start a “war against the leftist destroying America”

  58. MNPundit - December 28, 2009 | 11:56 pm · Link

    She’s called for this before. Or at least, she called for “Real Men” in the military to take matters into their own hands. So, is it time to arrest her yet for advocating the violent overthrow of the government?

  59. Yutsano - December 28, 2009 | 11:58 pm · Link

    @MNPundit: There’s martyrs and there’s making cause celebres. Plus it takes more than just words to actually count as violent overthrow. Otherwise we would have arrested Rushbo a decade or so ago.

  60. Joe Max - December 29, 2009 | 12:00 am · Link

    ...and were set free, according to U.S. and Saudi officials.

    That’s right. The Bush administration handed over those guys to their good family friends, the Saudis.

  61. Corner Stone - December 29, 2009 | 12:02 am · Link

    Oh Adrian P. why dust thou fucketh with us all?
    Do you have teeny tiny little hands like Ricky Williams?

    FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK

  62. BeccaM - December 29, 2009 | 12:03 am · Link

    Why do they say Taitz only ‘seems’ to be urging armed insurrection and sedition when her statement, taken exactly as it is written (but with the obvious spelling corrections) cannot be reasonably interpreted to mean or imply anything else?

    It ‘might be time’ to get out all our guns and form militias for what purpose? To have bake sales? To protest march? Don’t need no gun to protest or carry a sign or let your elected representatives and leaders know you’re unhappy with what they’re doing.

    Yes, yes—she’s an utter bats**t crazy whackjob. But what she’s espousing is an armed overthrow of the current U.S. government, nothing less.

  63. Snarki, child of Loki - December 29, 2009 | 12:03 am · Link

    Free market? Sure, along with the consequences of a free market. So it’s Gresham’s Law for wingnut rhetoric; and Orly is a bad penny indeed.

  64. Corner Stone - December 29, 2009 | 12:04 am · Link

    Oh Suzy. I so want to kiss you right now.

  65. MattR - December 29, 2009 | 12:06 am · Link

    @Corner Stone: Get in line behind Broadway Joe :)

  66. RedKitten - December 29, 2009 | 12:06 am · Link

    @MNPundit: IOKIYAR, remember? Natalie Maines was a traitorous bitch who deserved all those death threats and burned albums, for the terrible crime of saying that she was ashamed that Dubya hailed from Texas. Orly Taitz is merely a concerned citizen exercising her First Amendment rights when she suggests armed insurrection against Obama.

    Come on, keep up, wouldja?

  67. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 12:08 am · Link

    Tim, this Orly person, she’s like that Lady Gaga, someone us older more intelligent folk pay no real attention to?
    Cuz if she is someone i need to pay attention to, let me know.
    Does she dress provacatively, daringly showing her thong?
    Otherwise I got bonghits waiting…

  68. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 12:13 am · Link

    Why did McVeigh bomb the Murrah building? What else could he do?

    Same thing with this Orly person, what else is she gonna do, not like everyone has a kid and a backyard full of mylar balloons.

    But seriously, who hasn’t considered renting a truck full of fertilizer…

  69. Comrade Mary - December 29, 2009 | 12:17 am · Link

    @Mako: Hey, don’t diss my Gaga!

    Orly? Meh. The black helicopters won’t be laughing when they take her away.

  70. Lesley - December 29, 2009 | 12:20 am · Link

    Off topic but to die for…

    OH MY GOD, THE CUTENESS!

    Pit Bull Sharky with Chicks and Cat.

  71. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 12:21 am · Link

    @Mako:

    Nothingworse than aholes who don’t want to discuss the topic at hand because it’s not important enough, eh? Fuck them and riding mower the drove in here on. I should be ashamed of myself. Orly Travits, or whatever, is important. Could we get more pictures of her? Preferably in silly clothes? Does she have a hot daughter on MySpace? Cuz that would be cool.

  72. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 12:26 am · Link

    Children are dying in Rwanda right now, and you people don’t care.

  73. freelancer (itouch) - December 29, 2009 | 12:34 am · Link

    @Mako:

    “You can get killed walking your doggie”
    -Lt. Vincent Hanna

  74. Zam - December 29, 2009 | 12:34 am · Link

    @Mako: Are they white children?

  75. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 12:37 am · Link

    @Zam:

    There is something wrong with you. Of course they are not white children you putz, that’s why it’s such a tragedy. You think white children just die all the time in Africa? Get a grip. Stop eating meat.

  76. Zam - December 29, 2009 | 12:41 am · Link

    @Mako: Well have they at least accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as their savior?

  77. Brick Oven Bill - December 29, 2009 | 12:41 am · Link

    Obama has spent $6 million reportedly, probably much more, to not produce the certificate.

    I spent $15 to get one for a passport.

    This is why Americans wonder.

    There is a solid reason for that provision in the Constitution.

  78. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 12:42 am · Link

    @freelancer (itouch):

    I once killed a dog with a block of cheese.
    Your blog is too wordy, my advice, less words, more porn.
    HTH.

  79. Yutsano - December 29, 2009 | 12:46 am · Link

    @Brick Oven Bill: I’m not going through this again. But what Obama produced as his COLB looks exactly the same as mine, and I got my passport just fine. Unless of course you’re suggesting mine is fake as well.

  80. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 12:46 am · Link

    @Zam:
    Who the fuck cares you crepulant retard? Something deeply disturbingly wrong with you and you should get yourself checked out.
    Jesus Christ? who was even talking about him? Isn’t this thread about Orly Kravitz? His cover of “American Woman” was pretty okay.

  81. cleek - December 29, 2009 | 12:47 am · Link

    Teabagger leaders are basically at each other’s throats over who isn’t running right fast enough to keep up with the fringe.

    golly. if only there was an analogue on the left.

  82. Zam - December 29, 2009 | 12:48 am · Link

    @Brick Oven Bill: Is there a solid reason the black guy has to do more than any of the white guys?

  83. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 12:49 am · Link

    @Yutsano:

    heh.
    You sound brown.

  84. Brick Oven Bill - December 29, 2009 | 12:51 am · Link

    Barack’s children’s book advance was Five Hundred Thousand Dollars. Five Hundred Thousand Dollars is One Twelfth the cost of defending his refusal to product a birth certificate.

    Who would want to write twelve children’s books?

    My birth certificate cost me Fifteen Dollars.

    Just be honest.

  85. freelancer (itouch) - December 29, 2009 | 12:53 am · Link

    @Mako:

    Lol, just because you can embed pr0n, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

    Also, my last 4 posts have less than 1,000 words combined. If that’s too much, I agree. Rwanda’s a crime, but dear god don’t let me read about it.

    [izzard voice] Rwanda doesn’t work very well! The infrastructure’s fucked! [/izzard voice]

  86. Yutsano - December 29, 2009 | 12:57 am · Link

    @Mako: It’s even worse: I’m an All-American Heinz 57. Mostly from Europe but not entirely. At some point I have to get into my rather entertaining genealogy.

  87. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 12:57 am · Link

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    Hey did you now that Dr Suess’s real name was Theodor, almost like Alvin the chipmunk’s brother?

  88. Mike E - December 29, 2009 | 1:07 am · Link

    @Brick Oven Bill:
    i’m guessing your birth certificate cost a lot more than that!

  89. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 1:12 am · Link

    @Mike E:
    As i recall his mother was in the Jeffersons and he married Lisa Bonet. We’re still talking about Orly Kravitz, right?

  90. Seebach - December 29, 2009 | 1:16 am · Link

    I would just like to say, again, that I did spill water on my girlfriend’s laptop, a $1000 Christmas present. I am hoping public humiliation and contrition will help fix it. Please point and laugh at me.

  91. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 1:17 am · Link

    @Yutsano:
    You need a better handle. Might I suggest “Ketchup”?
    Or “Whitebread”, but if it was me I’d go for “Mustard”.
    Or “Killer”, always secretly wanted to be called “Killer”.

  92. Yutsano - December 29, 2009 | 1:17 am · Link

    @Seebach: Only if it wasn’t under warranty. Then yeah you deserve a good round of mockery.

  93. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 1:19 am · Link

    @Seebach:
    hah.
    Dude, everyone knows you don’t have a girlfriend.

  94. Eric U. - December 29, 2009 | 1:33 am · Link

    @Seebach: many credit cards will replace such items. You should check.

  95. Mike E - December 29, 2009 | 1:36 am · Link

    @Eric U.:
    Use a hairdryer on “medium/low” and pray to the God of PC, Bill (not Brick Oven) Gates.

  96. Yutsano - December 29, 2009 | 1:37 am · Link

    @Mako: My cat is a literal killer. He’s a real cool really sweet cat. But his name has more to do with his personality. Plus calling myself “Killer” would amuse the Dawg to no end. He might just make me prove it.

  97. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 1:40 am · Link

    @Eric U.:
    Get on the program already, point and laugh. Here, try this, “Seebach, you suck, You’ve always sucked. Couldn’t suck anymore than you. You define suck. In fact, we will call you Suck from now on, because, quite frankly, you suck. Sucker. ”

  98. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 1:43 am · Link

    @Yutsano:
    I so love a good non sequitur. It’s like discussing Jesus. Jesus, as far as we know, didn’t have a pet cat. Interesting, don’t you agree?

  99. Anya - December 29, 2009 | 1:48 am · Link

    @Brick Oven Bill: You’re a blethering idiot. To paraphrase Barney Frank, arguing with you is like arguing with a chair. You are a hopeless ignorant.

  100. Martin - December 29, 2009 | 1:49 am · Link

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    Your birth certificate isn’t real until you’ve mailed me an original copy. That goes equal for every other person on this blog. I’m going to estimate a minimum of 250 * ($15 + $.44) = $3,860. To simplify matters, either send Cole $3800 as evidence that it’s necessary to not rely on a copy sent to various trusted sources as Obama has done, or STFU.

  101. Martin - December 29, 2009 | 1:50 am · Link

    @Mako: Ah, but did Ceiling Cat have a pet Jesus? As support for this position, who opened the cans for Ceiling Cat?

  102. Yutsano - December 29, 2009 | 1:52 am · Link

    @Martin: I call foul good sir. Hawai’i state law says that they keep my actual birth certificate on file in Honolulu and the best I can do is a certificate of live birth. You either accept it or ship me back to the land of my ancestors: Canada.

  103. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 1:53 am · Link

    @Anya:

    So how you doin’?

  104. freelancer (itouch) - December 29, 2009 | 1:54 am · Link

    @Yutsano:

    I love how you refer to your Significant Other as the Dawg, but you might want to tread lightly. You might inadvertantly be connotting an asymmetrical relationship of slave vs master a la pulp fiction’s “the gimp”. If that’s how you work, go with god, but I’m just sayin, constantly referring to your partner as The Dawg seems a bit odd.

    Happy New Year.

  105. Martin - December 29, 2009 | 1:57 am · Link

    @Yutsano: Ah, but I gave BOB an out here – he needn’t actually produce it. He just needs to write Cole a check for $3800 as evidence that Obama should come up with the 300,000,000 * ($15 + $.44) = $4.63B necessary to adequately prove his case. We’ll assume that the Hawaii law can be worked around – probably to the screams of teabaggers calling him a fascist for not respecting the rule of law. But I guess I should add that BOB needs to give us a plausible means for Obama to raise the $4.63B, or is it okay for him to use taxpayer dollars to prove the case?

  106. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 1:58 am · Link

    @Martin:

    What the fuck are you on about, Martin? Seriously, is that a real name, “Martin”? Isn’t that like a bird? Your parents named you after a bird? And they couldn’t even come up with something cool and birdy trendy like “Robin”? You’re parents suck, but then you probably already knew that. What where we talking about then? Cats? Cats suck.

    edit. you did ask to be insulted, right? I sometimes get confused.
    You all suck.

  107. Yutsano - December 29, 2009 | 2:02 am · Link

    @freelancer (itouch): Does it help to know that Dawg is a slang term for Marine? I could call him the Marine (for several reasons I avoid using his name) but that just sounds odd, not to mention brings up memories of really bad John Cena movies. I had another point here, but I’m too tired to hold on to much right now.

    EDIT: Plus, to be honest, he does bark. I’m not kidding.

  108. DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal) - December 29, 2009 | 2:08 am · Link

    @Seebach:

    If I were you I would set up a small heater/hair dryer to blow WARM air over the laptop. There are lots of nooks and crannies on circuit boards, especially if the water gets under any of the various chips or in board/edge connectors. There are insulating cards that won’t insulate if water is trapped between them and whatever they are protecting. I take laptops apart all of the time and I see disasters like this all too often. There are lots of places for water to get trapped and resist drying quickly.

    The higher your humidity is the slower the water will evaporate, thus necessitating more time and warm dry air movement. A warm area with gentle air movement helps a lot. Pulling off base covers (memory, modem, network cards), the battery, the hard drive (if tray removable), opening the optical drive and such will promote air movement and drying inside the unit.

    The key to recovery is that if the unit is not damaged, the longer you wait and let it dry the more likely you will have a good outcome. Rush it at your own risk.

  109. freelancer (itouch) - December 29, 2009 | 2:10 am · Link

    @Yutsano:

    Lol it’s all good. As a marine it’s better you call him dawg than devil dawg like the USMC. Just don’t tell me that in the throes of passion you yell “Hoo-ahhh!”. That, my friend, is snarkworthy.

  110. bago - December 29, 2009 | 2:11 am · Link

    @Brick Oven Bill: This explains why Obama has no passport.

  111. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 2:11 am · Link

    @freelancer (itouch):

    he might have a point there. when my sister was 12 she had a pony called “dawg”. it wasn’t really a pony, more a lame beagle that she rode around. She’s in St E’s now. I sent her an oven mitt for xmas. She doesn’t have an oven, but i know she will enjoy the gift.

  112. Yutsano - December 29, 2009 | 2:13 am · Link

    @freelancer (itouch): Ha. If he did that I’d die. Not from laughing (which I would inevitably do) but from him killing me for it.

  113. bago - December 29, 2009 | 2:15 am · Link

    @Martin: Their own, personal, Jesus?

  114. freelancer (itouch) - December 29, 2009 | 2:18 am · Link

    @Yutsano:

    Roflol, there’s no such thing as an Ex-Marine.

  115. Yutsano - December 29, 2009 | 2:21 am · Link

    @freelancer (itouch): There’s a Marine saying: “Marines never die. They just go to Hell to regroup.” It’s kinda frightening, but it’s somewhat a coping mechanism. These guys usually understand they’re first to go in and last to leave. I was fully aware of what was going to happen when I made the plunge, but to be totally fair he started it.

  116. Yutsano - December 29, 2009 | 2:26 am · Link

    Tom Ridge can officially DIAF:

    http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITI.....index.html

    Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a “moderate” Republican. Suspend his rights because he made Tommy Boy wet his pants.

  117. Anya - December 29, 2009 | 2:29 am · Link

    @Mako: at this moment utterly fascinated by your logic and wondering why am I still awake after 2am on work day.

  118. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 2:31 am · Link

    @Yutsano:

    There’s also the saying, “Manatees live to 50 unless they are caved in by a speedboat.”

  119. freelancer (itouch) - December 29, 2009 | 2:34 am · Link

    @Yutsano:

    I just read that on the CNN app. Shorter Tom Ridge: even in merka, alleged attempted murderers shouldn’t be afforded lawyers.

  120. Mako - December 29, 2009 | 2:35 am · Link

    @Anya:

    You want me. it is obvious. You are hot and lonely and horny.
    Let’s talk. So, what you wearing..?

  121. Anya - December 29, 2009 | 2:44 am · Link

    @freelancer (itouch): Didn’t Richard Reid, the shoe bomber, under the Bush administration go through the same legal system. He committed his crimes here so he should face American justice. Republicans are just losing their moral compass.

  122. Martin - December 29, 2009 | 2:48 am · Link

    He committed his crimes here so he should face American justice.

    Do Republicans recognize Detroit as part of the US? I’m pretty sure they don’t.

  123. bago - December 29, 2009 | 2:49 am · Link

    @Anya: He didn’t have a muslin-enough name.

  124. Anne Laurie - December 29, 2009 | 2:56 am · Link

    @beltane:

    The GOP has become one of those movies where if you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen the whole thing.

    Agreed. As you say to yourself, “Well, that’s four minutes of my life that I’ll never get back.”

    @soonergrunt:

    I knew that Conservatives are complete fuckwits deserving of nothing but scorn, but sometimes you have to be reminded just how completely useless they are as Americans and human beings.

    Just this once, I forgive you for feeding the trolls, because that, sir, was epic.

    P.S. There sure are a lot of sloppy drunks running around here for a Tuesday evening…

  125. Martin - December 29, 2009 | 2:57 am · Link

    @Anne Laurie:

    P.S. There sure are a lot of sloppy drunks running around here for a Tuesday evening…

    Considering that it’s Monday evening, I guess we know what camp you fall in.

    And I’m off work for another week thanks to the Governator.

  126. Midnight Marauder - December 29, 2009 | 3:02 am · Link

    @Martin:

    And I’m off work for another week thanks to the Governator.

    “I looked as hard as I could at how states could declare bankruptcy,” said Michael Genest, director of the California Department of Finance who is stepping down at the end of the year. “I literally looked at the federal constitution to see if there was a way for states to return to territory status.”

  127. NobodySpecial - December 29, 2009 | 3:31 am · Link

    @Martin:

    See, now you started it.

    Take him to Detroit!

  128. Midnight Marauder - December 29, 2009 | 3:35 am · Link

    @NobodySpecial:

    See, now you started it.

    Take him to Detroit!

    Fucking amazing.

  129. Uriel - December 29, 2009 | 4:06 am · Link

    @Sanka:

    The lefty fringe is just aching, PINING for some lunatic who logged onto the Freeper website to start blowing people away.

    Just out of curiosity, you are aware that that has already happened, not just once, but probably several times this year alone, right? You are aware of James Von Brunn, Jim David Adkisson, and Richard Poplawski?

    And i take it you’re cognizant of the fact that most people on the left and center left weren’t all that pleased about any of them? In fact, most of us regarded these incidences with a mixture of dread and loathing? I mean, it’s kinda hard to accuse people of ‘pining’ for something that’s already a reality.

    Unless, of course, you’re pretending that something that is an objective truth doesn’t exist because it wouldn’t mesh with the ‘sports team’ narrative you’ve decided to arbitrarily squeeze reality into regardless of historical and political fact. The one where your team rules, regardless of what ever miscreants and deranged lunatics happen to be on it? And which completely disregards, as a matter of course, all the actual pain, suffering and lives lost you have to wave away as irrelevant in order to sustain your childish narrative?

    Which, you know, would be Très classy. If that was what you were doing.

  130. mclaren - December 29, 2009 | 5:08 am · Link

    @Uriel: Yeah, seriously. Methinks it’s only a matter of time before we get Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building part deux. It’s scary because at this point in Clinton’s presidency, we were nowhere this violent, this many heavily armed wingnuts blowing people away.

    Rage is like heroin for the far right. They develop a tolerance and need to keep upping the dosage.

  131. asiangrrlMN - December 29, 2009 | 5:19 am · Link

    @Dannie22: Yeah, pretty much this.

    Hiya! I had pig’s feet and sticky rice today. How about you? I’m about to hit the family reunion (mother’s side) which will have a ten-course meal.

    I miss y’all, but I definitely don’t miss much of the family squabbling that has dominated BJ in the past few weeks.

    It’s strange that I seem so far removed from American politics while I’m in Taiwan. Maybe it’s because of all the women wearing skinny pants/tights and very long shirts/very short dresses. It amazes me how they all try to look exactly the same.

  132. soonergrunt - December 29, 2009 | 5:44 am · Link

    @mclaren:

    It’s scary because at this point in Clinton’s presidency, we were nowhere this violent

    That’s because Clinton is white.
    The main emotional feeder of conservativism is and always has been paranoia. The ‘intellectual’ underpining of conservativism, such as it is, is that everything in the world is a zero sum game.
    Paranoia that somebody is getting over on you. Paranoia that if somebody else gets ahead, you must be falling behind because everything is a zero sum game. Paranoia that those who are beneath you by social class are catching up, thereby causing you to loose power and status.
    There was considerable cipherin round these parts that Clinton was up to something shady because no Arkansas good ole boy like him could possibly become as rich and powerful as he did without leaving a trail of bodies. Well add in that Obama is a black guy. I know he’s mixed race, but to them, he’s waaay too black and he married a black woman and has black kids. That’s all you need to know.
    They’re comfortable with him playing basketball for millions of dollars a year or being a General in the Army. Hell, they’re even comfortable with him selling crack on a street corner.
    But it just ain’t right that we have a ni**er for a president.

  133. Tomlinson - December 29, 2009 | 6:32 am · Link

    @Yutsano:

    Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a “moderate” Republican. Suspend his rights because he made Tommy Boy wet his pants.

    Brilliant, Mr. Ridge:

    He’s a terrorist, and I don’t think he deserves the full range of protections of our criminal justice system embodied in the Constitution of the United States.”

    Our civics education has clearly been lacking for at least 50 years. Just basic stuff, like WHY we actually need the full range of protections afforded by our criminal justice system.

  134. The Tim Channel - December 29, 2009 | 6:34 am · Link

    Tenure you say? Isn’t that educational jargon? Wonder if the following guys have ‘tenure’ in their profession yet?

    Free tuition for aspiring Saudi artists.

    http://thetimchannel.wordpress.....i-artists/

    Enjoy.

  135. jrg - December 29, 2009 | 9:51 am · Link

    The lefty fringe is just aching, PINING for some lunatic who logged onto the Freeper website to start blowing people away. Stay classy, moonbats.

    Totally. It’s not like a right-winger blows up a federal building or shoots up an abortion clinic, gay bar, or Unitarian church every six months or so.

    How does it feel to be an apologist for right-wing domestic terrorism?

  136. soonergrunt - December 29, 2009 | 10:42 am · Link

    @Anne Laurie:
    Thank you, Ma’am. And know that I meant every word of that with all my heart.

  137. Pasquinade - December 29, 2009 | 3:25 pm · Link

    @Sanka

    Free Republic’s very own Chad Castagana sent the White Powder to Olbermann

    http://www.crooksandliars.com/.....olbermann/

    FBI Nabs Suspect in Olbermann’s Fake Anthrax Letter Case

    http://www.crooksandliars.com/.....tter-case/

    cartoon on this Coulter- and Malkin-lovin’ Freeper: http://img150.imageshack.us/im.....005ud5.jpg


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