Looks like I won’t be going rogue
I had a friend check out what was going on with my local Sarahpalooza book signing. Here’s what he said:
I talked to one of the clerks and she said they’ve been getting calls non-stop since it was announced, from places as far away as Oregon and Yonkers. One of the other clerks was on the phone fielding Palin questions as I spoke to this one.
The appearance is at 6 PM. She’s not doing anything but signing books for 3 hours—no remarks. They’re handing out 1000 wristbands at 9 AM. Each is good for one “family”—two adults and their kids—to have a maximum of two books signed. The clerk expected that all the wristbands would be gone at 9, considering the volume of calls they’re getting.
Sounds like a pain in the ass hassle to get an autograph…
Balconesfault
Does each signature come with a starburst?
Zifnab
But just think of the chance to be that close. Maybe, if you’re lucky, Sarah will whisper a sweet nonsensical nothing in your ear.
/hopes and prays
cleek
bullshit. $10 says she quits after the first 35 minutes.
Short Bus Bully
MILFs get all the attention.
/sigh
thomas Levenson
I’d almost do it for the potential profit on ebay…but there are some twisted byways of the capitalist mindscape I just can’t bring myself to travel.
gonzone
PT Barnum knew what he was talking about. There’s at least one born every minute.
And no one ever went broke underestimating the American public.
I hope Zifnab gets a wink!
Tonal Crow
That’s “misunderestimating”.
The Saff
No remarks? I’m shocked, shocked I tells you!
You are so right, gonzone.
Senyordave
No remarks? You mean no commentary whather Rochester makes it to the category of “more patriotic parts of America”. We can’t question her about her editorials in the WSJ, and find out how she became a cap and trade effort despite not knowing the name of a newspaper or magazine.
John Dillinger
Sounds well worth the time if you can get her to mistakenly sign “Going Rouge” from those writers from The Nation.
Bokonon
Palin is a no longer simply a politician – for these people, she is a celebrity and an entertainer, on the model of Limbaugh, Beck and Coulter.
Sort of … our own version of Evita Peron.
New Yorker
You mean Real America, and no, Rochester does not fall into that category. Monroe County went for Obama 58-40, the city of Rochester has a large population of…..Those People, and while the suburbs are full of people who have the same skin color as Real Americans, many of them are employed as scientists and engineers at places like RIT or Xerox, which means they probably don’t believe God created the earth in 6 days.
gex
gex
Blockquote fail. Only top line was supposed to be BQed. My turn to pine for the lost edit function, I guess.
AngusTheGodOfMeat
Whoops, I thought the thread was “Looks like I won’t be going rouge.”
Never mind.
ulee
off topic—over at crimefilenews.com the blogger is openly calling for the assassination of Obama. crazy stuff.
Da Bomb
I wonder what color crayon will she use to sign her books?
Burnt Sienna?
different church-lady
Wasn’t it just about 18 months ago that being “a celebrity” was supposed to be a bad thing?
SpotWeld
Autograph?
You’re thinking small man, you could have her lay hands apon your children.
Let them be blessed with the eternal wink-a-tude. The ability to see Russia from thier backyard, to sell stuff on ebay and pick off a wolf from 500 yards from a helicopter skid.
Mark S.
@Bokonon:
Don’t cry for me Moosentina
Brick Oven Bill
Sarah would tell Goldman Sachs to shove it up their ass. Todd would do the job. Todd won a snow-mobile race with a broken arm. This was hundreds of miles.
I am kind of doubting that Romney or Huckabee would tell Goldman Sachs to shove it up their ass. So until some pissed-off Marine field grade officer, or better yet an enlisted Marine, or an Army Ranger, or Glenn Beck, runs for President, I am with Sarah.
Here is Sarah with a dead caribou.
DougJ
and while the suburbs are full of people who have the same skin color as Real Americans
Actually, there are a lot of Indians and Jews in the nicer suburbs here. It’s only the western suburbs that can legitimately be considered part of real America.
DBrown
So if she agree’s to tea bag would this interesting (excluding any children, of course.)
licensed to kill time
You couldn’t pay me to go to “Going Rogue”, to buy Going Rogue, to read Going Rogue, or to put on rouge.
(anyone else having trouble w/BJ today? It’s loading/refreshing like an old teabagger with a walker going up the stairs of the Washington Monument. same thing happens on FF or Chrome or Opera for me…all other sites, no prob.)
Comrade Darkness
@Brick Oven Bill: This is before or after she asks, “Isn’t Goldman Sachs where I bought this nice handbag, and why do we have that Treasury Czar anyway, he’ll just give all our money to Putin?”
Senyordave
Slightly OT, but seeing Ms. Moosemeat’s name got me thinking about her editorials about energy.
She wrote one about cap and trade that the Washington oPst published. I remember reading it when I still got the Post (finally canceled when they published the FOX ad that lied about 9/12 rallies). I just copied the editorial into something called the Gender Genie, which uses an algorithm to predict the gender of the author based on the usage of certain words. I remember trying this many times using online books, articles, etc., even studies where I work and it was never wrong, not a single time.
http://bookblog.net/gender/analysis.php
When I put Palin’s Cap and Trade editorial into the Gender Genie, it predicts that it was written by a male. I wonder if it is a single author that does her writing, or is it a team or rotating people. Because no way is she capable of stringing together coherent thoughts, either verbally or on paper.
GReynoldsCT00
@different church-lady:
absolutely! very Paris Hilton…
Comrade Darkness
@SpotWeld: Better yet, plead with her to repeat the witch repulsion ceremony she had done, since “your children refuse to read anything by Harry Potter.”
New Yorker
Anyone else notice how BOB’s posts read like the wrong answer choices on the critical reasoning section of the GMAT?
Brick Oven Bill
Sarah is a credit to her gender Comrade Darkness, be nice.
Charity
No questions? You’re just supposed to walk up, get your book signed, and move on? Not even a “Hi, how are ya?” Sounds real homey.
SpotWeld
@Comrade Darkness:
Or failing that you could just tell her how much you love her in 30 Rock
dr. bloor
@DougJ:
But can we really trust supposed Real ‘Merkins who would choose to live in a suburb named “Greece?”
Punchy
I cant wait for half the NRO staff to show up and cream half the books in the pile. Then buy said books, and smear said man sauce all over her picture on the cover.
Anne Laurie
@John Dillinger:
Be sure to get a photo, though, if you really wantto make bank on the ebay auction!
I’m predicting two separate outcomes for these events. After the first couple, Palin will get bored and walk away from the three-hour scheduled signing events after, say, 55 minutes. Then there will be several where only a handful of book-buyers bother to show up, and odds are she’ll throw a hissy-fit on camera about all her enemies conspiring to keep her legions of admirers away from her.
DougJ
But can we really trust supposed Real ‘Merkins who would choose to live in a suburb named “Greece?”
Let alone Parma.
But Chili, obviously yes.
licensed to kill time
@Charity:
Palin is very controlling/authoritarian in her appearances. Gives you a good idea what kind of a leader she would be if that sad day ever came about. Bet she’d like the knee high leather jackboots and riding crop, too.
Vince CA
Senyordave: The gender genie thinks I write like a girl. A LOT like a girl. I wasn’t even borderline.
While a nifty little toy, I am completely convinced that Sarah Palin writes her own crap. Nobody else could be that dense.
Comrade Darkness
@Brick Oven Bill: Oh, I don’t doubt that you believe that Bill. I, personally, don’t know any women more clueless than her. Is it possible that competent, clued-in women leave the area whenever you approach so you have a personal sample bias?
handy
@Brick Oven Bill:
Get a room, BOB.
Comrade Darkness
@Senyordave: I fed it some samples from our household. It only bats 500 for me.
Tonal Crow
@Brick Oven Bill:
Fixed.
Dr. Loveless
Has Levi’s Playgirl spread come out yet? I want to try to get her to sign that.
JK
Doug,
Instead of wasting money on Going Rogue, get this book instead.
Going Rouge: The Sarah Palin Rogue Coloring & Activity Book by Julie Sigwart and Micheal Stinson
The 48-page coloring book features puzzles, word games, and mazes, like “Help Sarah find her way to the White House” and “Where in the world does domestic Alaskan oil go?” The reader can help Sarah (dressed in fishing overalls) choose her fishing gear from: an axe, a chainsaw, a pistol, and a bomb. We’ve all heard Sarah’s “I can see Russia from my house!”—now here’s your chance to color the Kremlin rouge from her kitchen.
h/t http://www.amazon.com/exec/obi.....illions-20
Brick Oven Bill
Here is Sarah with fish-guts on her fingers. Tell me this isn’t hot.
Sarah is way smarter than Nancy Pelosi.
dfd
@ulee: I’m honestly searching the Secret Service website for an email address. Not having any luck.
Bostondreams
Well, I am proud to say I was able to get an autograph from Deborah Lipstadt, the historian who destroyed the career of Holocaust denier David Iriving. She was the keynote speaker at the National Council of the Social Studies luncheon today.
And I didn’t even have to go rogue to do it.
gopher2b
I suggest all the gays sign up for wristbands and after put out a press release that “Palin Event Endorses Gay Couples as ‘Families.’”
It’s what they would do.
Bubblegum Tate
@SpotWeld:
It would be so fantastic if a bunch of people did that at every stop of her tour. She would freak the fuck out.
SiubhanDuinne
Aren’t Oregon and Yonkers at opposite ends of the country??
New Yorker
You should see all the little towns in Central NY that are named for Greek and Roman historical figures, not to mention the larger towns and/or cities with names like Utica, Rome, Syracuse, and Ithaca.
It’s obviously a covert endorsement of paganism and homosexuality by the treasonous, hate-America-first crowd in Central NY.
Palinoscopy
Who wouldn’t sell their soul to get an autograph of one of America’s greatest ever never was Vice-Presidents? Think of how much it’ll fetch on e-bay in 10 years. Remember – even Dubya had his solid 22% at the end. People that will write on weblogs comments like:
“We are now officially committed fans of George W. and Laura Bush. We are fans of Dick Cheney. Our gratitude for them makes us newly protective of them, and the continued role they play in this country.”
Almost coughed up a hairball when I read that one.
SiubhanDuinne
@Comrade Darkness:
Goldman Sachs Fifth Avenue?
WereBear
@John Dillinger: I imagine it would be easy… just hold out the book to her, already open, and look all star-struck… like everyone else.
It can be stunning how unobservant people can be, especially when they are multi-tasking in a situation like that.
Persia
@JK: You can buy both at Amazon for one low price!
Bubblegum Tate
@WereBear:
I have the mental image of Palin sitting there with a smile soldered onto her face, mechanically signing books and tossing out an unconnected Palin-ism with each signature. “Also.” “Maverick.” “Bogus.” “Drill, baby drill.” “Lipstick.” Think Fry’s mechanical Lucy Liu from Futurama, only much, much stupider.
dfd
@dfd: Fuck it, I called the local office.
Calouste
1000 in 3 hours comes to about 10 seconds each. That sounds like, you know, work. I agree with other posters that it’s unlikely that this book tour will fulfill all it’s obligations. The other option of course is that the books come with a stamped signature rather than a handwritten one.
licensed to kill time
@Palinoscopy:
Erp. I just puked a lil bit in my mouf. What site was that from?
Martin
@cleek: And she’d claim she’s quitting for the benefit of those still waiting in line. And on that point, we’d all agree.
Notorious P.A.T.
Hah indeed )
Kineslaw
@JK:
That book looks hilarious. I want it for Christmas. And I want to give it to all my liberal friends.
psychobroad
@49 The two of you are evil geniuses! You made me LOL.
Xecky Gilchrist
I’d be tempted to try to get an armband just so I could stand in line for a couple hours to get near enough to her to release the unbelievably rank broccoli fart I’d been holding the entire time.
BombIranForChrist
I’m tempted to get a wristband so that a nutter won’t get one. They need to be punished.
Comrade Mary
Oh, God. I made the mistake of leaving MSNBC on downstairs while I work upstairs, but as they’re covering the book tour and her appearance on Oprah with many, many talking clips, I had to dive downstairs and turn it off.
The flowers die on the earth; the time of the brewing of tea is come; and the voice of the shrieking eel is heard in our land.
Shell
She seems to be photographed/associated with a lot of dead things. Caribou, moose, wolves, those decapitated turkeys. McCain’s presidential bid…..
Ash Can
@dfd: When I read ulee’s post, I immediately thought that web site should be brought to the authorities’ attention. Thank you for doing that.
Comrade Darkness
@dfd: Just curious here, is there an answering machine you leave your report on, or does a human actually answer?
Delia
@SiubhanDuinne:
It’s only a problem if you assume the continent of Eurasia is there. Other than that, you can almost see Yonkers from my house.
4jkb4ia
Alas, Brandon Sanderson is not coming here on his book tour. Seems like a very nice, humble guy even though he can’t write Elaida for squat.
4jkb4ia
Why did I write that when there is a Terry Pratchett fan FPer prepared to laugh at the whole thing?
4jkb4ia
@4jkb4ia:
Seriously, folks, he had to get the plot moving, but Elaida seems to have lost any sense of cunning she might have once had in a very few days.
edsaid
NASCAR drivers frequently give out 300 wristbands for a 2 hour autograph session. 1,000 in three hours? Not gonna happen. Also.
Dr. Loveless
It makes me want to produce a movie called Bimbos Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things
mclaren
I’m predicting a MacArthur Genius Award in this woman’s future. She’s so grossly inept, so shockingly ignorant, so appalling irresponsible, so bereft of even the most microscopic scintilla of talent or ability or skill that some major award must be in the offing.
Nobel, anyone?