Not Dead
Just chucking this out there:
I’m looking for a god hearted woman who loves me in spite of my ways she don’t understand.
Also, yes, I have called five times and Lily is ok and my brother has said to stop calling because “she is ok, damnit.”
October 27, 2009 11:42 pm
Posted in: Open Thread
102 Comments
102 Responses
asiangrrlMN - October 27, 2009 | 11:46 pm · Link
Cole, you are adorable.
burnspbesq - October 27, 2009 | 11:47 pm · Link
“I’m gonna get me a bottle of tequila and one of them Keno girls that can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, and … kick back.”
Willie’s best line ever, even if he didn’t write it. From “The Electric Horseman,” a movie that should have been a lot better than it actually was.
TenguPhule - October 27, 2009 | 11:48 pm · Link
Liberman needs to GDIAF now if not sooner.
That is all.
nalbar - October 27, 2009 | 11:53 pm · Link
I bet she ran away and your brother is afraid to tell you.
You should call and ask him.
nalbar
asiangrrlMN - October 27, 2009 | 11:55 pm · Link
@nalbar: Man, you are cruel…and very funny.
Bad Horse's Filly - October 27, 2009 | 11:59 pm · Link
....and Tunch, did you call about Tunch? You know, being the oldest of 3, I completely relate to being pushed aside for the little whippersnappers. Poor, poor Tunch, I bet he’ll waste away to nothing while missing you. Now don’t you feel guilty?
ellaesther - October 28, 2009 | 12:03 am · Link
Ok, I’mma treat this like a new Open Thread. I mean: right?
Earlier today, we got to talking (ok, I broached the subject) of our secret Obama Administration boyfriends/girlfriends. Mine is Peter Orszag. (Especially after I saw his response to Fred Hiatt , thanks to burnspbesq!)
So, all right now, own up: Who’s yours?
Cain - October 28, 2009 | 12:03 am · Link
You should call and ask him.
Haha, nice. :-) Bastard!
I hope a potential mrs cole is watching. hehe
cain
Bad Horse's Filly - October 28, 2009 | 12:05 am · Link
@ellaesther: At the convention I got to meet one of his aides, a fine, handsome, dark skinned man named Ken, who I have secretly searched for in pictures since and actually have a debate picture filed away with him in it. Think Reggie Love, but older and even better looking, if that’s possible.
asiangrrlMN - October 28, 2009 | 12:06 am · Link
@ellaesther: Rahm Emanuel. I would do him in a hot minute. The Prez and his wife (yeah, I know she’s not in the admin. So sue me). The VP.
asiangrrlMN - October 28, 2009 | 12:06 am · Link
@ellaesther: Ooh ooh, Reggie Love! Add him to the list.
cmorenc - October 28, 2009 | 12:09 am · Link
@John Cole
Yeah, they’re absolute treasures when you find one like that and it’s mutual love. And then at some point you get the urge to marry her.
It’s after you marry her that you’re most likely to run into a deep-seated instinct most women have, even the “good hearted” ones who “love you in spite of my ways she don’t understand”: they’ll try to “reform” many of those “ways she don’t understand”, and now that you’re married, don’t always seem quite as charming anymore. She’ll love you anyway, but be prepared to be pestered in ways you didn’t expect.
Bad Horse's Filly - October 28, 2009 | 12:09 am · Link
@asiangrrlMN: And I quote tonight’s weather person:
That is all.
Anne Laurie - October 28, 2009 | 12:10 am · Link
What, one night away from home and the religionists have ‘converted’ you already? ! ?
Bad Horse's Filly - October 28, 2009 | 12:10 am · Link
@cmorenc: Hey! I resemble that remark.
Fulcanelli - October 28, 2009 | 12:10 am · Link
I bet Willie gets the good cheeba. Yup, I bet he does.
I love that old guitar. Hard to believe he’s the guy who wrote Patsy Cline’s “Crazy”. I’d give anything to hang out with him, burn one and listen to him tell stories. What a life.
ellaesther - October 28, 2009 | 12:12 am · Link
@asiangrrlMN: Isn’t it funny how many women (and, I suspect, gentlemen of a certain persuasion) are hot for Joe the Biden? It’s just such an indication that what we’re told is “attractive” often has very little to do with what is, actually, attractive.
I tell you what: I just swing the one way—but that Administration has it going on for just about any inclination! (And I will not sue you over Michelle Obama’s official status. Official-shmofficial! Say I).
soonergrunt - October 28, 2009 | 12:13 am · Link
@nalbar: Wow. Nalbar FTW
ellaesther - October 28, 2009 | 12:15 am · Link
@cmorenc: Dude. Gender stereotypes are not… helpful. People can be adults and take each other as they are, and people can also be adults and realize that living with another human being generally changes one. And the two need not be mutually exclusive, nor gender-specific.
asiangrrlMN - October 28, 2009 | 12:16 am · Link
@Bad Horse’s Filly: Cool! I mean, sucky for you.
@cmorenc: That’s why i don’t want to marry at all. All the preconceived notions of what marriage should be. No thank you.
@ellaesther: Yeah, I have never found the Brad Pitt types to be attractive. I mean, look at my number one hottie: Alan Rickman. I rest my case.
asiangrrlMN - October 28, 2009 | 12:18 am · Link
@ellaesther: Ok, you said it much more eloquently than did I. Yeah, what she said!
Bad Horse's Filly - October 28, 2009 | 12:18 am · Link
@asiangrrlMN: I knew I liked you. I LOVE Alan Rickman. Man he is hot in a way I cannot even describe.
Incertus - October 28, 2009 | 12:22 am · Link
My uncle has been Willie’s bassist for about 40 years now, and he told me a story about a show they did years ago. It was a festival, and they didn’t get to go on until about 4 in the morning, so when Willie asked the promoter how long they should play, the promoter (shitfaced drunk at this point) said “play till the sun comes up.” Bee said they would play every song they could remember, and then about once every ninety minutes, they’d look at each other and shrug, and play “Whiskey River” again. He said they must have played that song ten times that night.
ellaesther - October 28, 2009 | 12:23 am · Link
@Incertus: That.Is.AWESOME!!
Genine - October 28, 2009 | 12:24 am · Link
Nice post.
CaseyL - October 28, 2009 | 12:24 am · Link
Cole, did you have your brother put the phone by Lily’s ear so you could talk to her? Did she get excited and bark and bark when she heard your voice?
(The very first time I ever left kitties at home while I went on vacation, I swear to you I called my number and talked to the answering machine so my babies could hear me. I did this more than once.)
Steeplejack - October 28, 2009 | 12:26 am · Link
@John Cole:
Just about to go to bed (early shift tomorrow), checked BJ one last time and saw that. LOL. And for the win, sir. I have definitely been there.
Holiday pro tip: Willie’s album of Christmas songs, Pretty Paper, is teh awesome. He has a very good voice, and he does very good arrangements of some holiday standards. (Also see Stardust, where he does standard standards.)
Short Bus Bully - October 28, 2009 | 12:26 am · Link
Willie is king. Thanks for that link, made my day.
Going to go dig out my old “Willie Sings Kris Kristofferson” right fucking now. Good times are ahead.
Fulcanelli - October 28, 2009 | 12:26 am · Link
Gawd, listen to the gals going off on this Alan Rickman fixation. Next you’ll be talking in girl code about his mad Dark Arts skillz and what’s in the core of his wand.
I am sooooo jealous. lulz…
Katie - October 28, 2009 | 12:27 am · Link
I would marry you for your cat.
My fat cats can attest to my adoration for chubby felines.
asiangrrlMN - October 28, 2009 | 12:27 am · Link
@Bad Horse’s Filly: No doubt. It’s just…elusive, enigmatic, erotic, enticing…yum. I am well-known for my love of Mr. Rickman.
asiangrrlMN - October 28, 2009 | 12:28 am · Link
@Fulcanelli: What? Me and BHF are just bonding over Snape’s potent potions…
Bad Horse's Filly - October 28, 2009 | 12:29 am · Link
@Fulcanelli: I have to admit never seeing any Harry Potter past the first one. But my love of AR started with Sense and Sensibility. I have no explanation why or what it is about him. It just is. Tis the mystery of chemistry, I suppose.
ellaesther - October 28, 2009 | 12:30 am · Link
@asiangrrlMN: Hey, you should hear me go on about American culture’s infantalization of the married man, as evidenced in sitcoms and commercials! Or not, because I even bore myself on that one, I’ve gone on about it so often….
Little Macayla's Friend - October 28, 2009 | 12:32 am · Link
Wouldn’t it be wise to get Lily one of these:
http://www.engadget.com/2005/0.....am-system/
After a couple more days of phone calls, maybe your brother would like to get you an early Christmas gift.
Brachiator - October 28, 2009 | 12:34 am · Link
How ‘bout a Hard Headed Woman?
or maybe a Factory Girl
asiangrrlMN - October 28, 2009 | 12:35 am · Link
@Bad Horse’s Filly: I only watch the Potter movies because of Alan Rickman. I admit it, I fell for him while watching him be Snape.
@ellaesther: Oh, I am right there with you on this one.
asiangrrlMN - October 28, 2009 | 12:38 am · Link
@Bad Horse’s Filly: I call the Potter movies pr0n for me because I like Jason Isaacs and David Thewlis, too.
Incertus - October 28, 2009 | 12:39 am · Link
@ellaesther: It took me the longest time to get used to the reaction I get when I tell people that, but yeah, it’s really cool.
Bad Horse's Filly - October 28, 2009 | 12:39 am · Link
@asiangrrlMN: He was great in Love Actually, one of my faves. Have you seen An Awfully Big Adventure, he was amazing in that.
bago - October 28, 2009 | 12:43 am · Link
Does all of this talk involve exploring the tributaries of my venerated pubic option? I actually am in DC you know…
anon - October 28, 2009 | 12:43 am · Link
Can somebody please explain why the word ‘dithering’ has become such a popular word in the last week? I swear to go I’m going to dither my head into a wall if I get around to it…
asiangrrlMN - October 28, 2009 | 12:44 am · Link
@Bad Horse’s Filly: He was the best part of Love, Actually. I totally bought him and Emma Thompson as husband and wife.
An Awfully Big Adventure was difficult to watch, but really worth it. Yes, he’s amazing in it.
Have you seen Dark Harbor?
He’s really good in that, too, and there’s full frontal!
Bad Horse's Filly - October 28, 2009 | 12:44 am · Link
@Fulcanelli: Re: Open Thread, I think that restaurant set up in the street for the Feast of St. Anthony, the picture you linked to looks so familar. Now that was a day of food.
Good night all, off to shovel one last time before bed. Now I haz a sad.
NobodySpecial - October 28, 2009 | 12:44 am · Link
Indeed, as a male, I also am irritated at the media’s ability to only give us Comediaint’s As Clueless S.O. or Man As Eye Candy With Benefits.
asiangrrlMN - October 28, 2009 | 12:45 am · Link
Dark Harbor. It is a link. damn italics.
Bad Horse's Filly - October 28, 2009 | 12:45 am · Link
@asiangrrlMN: Hmmm, before shoveling I must add that to my netflix queue.
asiangrrlMN - October 28, 2009 | 12:46 am · Link
@Bad Horse’s Filly: Can’t. They don’t have it.
asiangrrlMN - October 28, 2009 | 12:47 am · Link
@Bad Horse’s Filly: Plus, the scene in which it happens should not be in the movie. I struggle with that, obviously.
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal) - October 28, 2009 | 12:47 am · Link
Been there and I hope I never have to be there again, my better half willing. She loves me as I am and I love her as she is, no head games and no drama, and we are still going strong after 23 years and two kids. I really never thought it would ever happen and yet it did. We didn’t get married with the idea of changing each other yet over the years we have changed, all on our own and on our terms.
I wish everyone could be as lucky as I feel I am but unfortunately that isn’t how it works.
asiangrrlMN - October 28, 2009 | 12:48 am · Link
And, I am going to bed, too. Hopefully, I will dream of Mr. Rickman, and he will not die in my dream.
Comrade Darkness - October 28, 2009 | 12:48 am · Link
I either want to slap you or shed a tear. I can’t make up my mind which.
slag - October 28, 2009 | 12:49 am · Link
@cmorenc: Yeah. And when the woman marries the guy, he leaves the seat up all the time and can’t stop scratching himself in public.
WTF? Have I unknowingly timewarped into the 1950s?
asiangrrlMN - October 28, 2009 | 12:49 am · Link
@DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal): Aw, that’s simply lovely. What a nice sentiment for me to read before I toddle off to bed. Kudos to you, Sir, and to your lovely bride.
General Winfield Stuck - October 28, 2009 | 12:49 am · Link
@Fulcanelli:
Man, I don’t get this either. But who knows what wymen like. I’ve spent too many hours trying to figure it out and got nuthin’ at tall./
Brachiator - October 28, 2009 | 12:51 am · Link
@asiangrrlMN:
And yet, and yet, guys like Brad Pitt, or Britain’s Russell Brand, attract with uncommon ease.
The universe ain’t fair. But it has a helluva sense of humor.
Anne Laurie - October 28, 2009 | 12:52 am · Link
@Bad Horse’s Filly:
For me, it was his Metatron (Voice of God) in Dogma. I love a man who can convey such disillusionment & world-weariness and yet still be capable of love and hope.
Mark S. - October 28, 2009 | 12:52 am · Link
I was in a Clash mood today. My two favorites:
(White Man) in Hammersmith Palais
Rudie Can’t Fail
Incertus - October 28, 2009 | 12:53 am · Link
@asiangrrlMN: This is all I will say about Alan Rickman—I have never seen him be bad in a movie. He’s been in some bad movies, but he was always good in them. (I have not seen every movie he’s made, so I could certainly be wrong on this.)
Brachiator - October 28, 2009 | 12:53 am · Link
@Brachiator:
Cripes! I meant to write, “attract women, and quite a few guys, with uncommon ease.”
Where’s a good edit option when you need it?
Comrade Darkness - October 28, 2009 | 12:55 am · Link
Clearly, we need cloning and we need it now. Just so Filly and Asiangrrl can both, OH, gosh and Anne too(!) can all have a copy of Alan Rickman.
Anne Laurie - October 28, 2009 | 12:55 am · Link
@bago:
Dude, if you’re looking for people to admire your pubic option, you’re posting on the wrong blog.
(I know, I know, but somebody hadda do it.)
slag - October 28, 2009 | 12:55 am · Link
@General Winfield Stuck: Well, based on this thread, it seems like womyn like Alan Rickman. So, I’m guessing one way to figure it out would be to read/listen to what those zany inscrutable womyn say.
Seriously. It’s the 1950s in here. Bon nuit.
General Winfield Stuck - October 28, 2009 | 12:58 am · Link
@slag:
Reckon so.
Lesley - October 28, 2009 | 1:00 am · Link
Please video tape the John Cole and Lily reunion when it happens.
For the Internet.
gwangung - October 28, 2009 | 1:01 am · Link
@Anne Laurie: Well, sometimes the obvious has to be said…
bago - October 28, 2009 | 1:05 am · Link
@Anne Laurie: It’s almost like intentionality had a concurrent orbit with my textual response. In a tangenital note I do walk around DC with the book on Semantics.
Bubba Dave - October 28, 2009 | 1:31 am · Link
John: Could be worse. I was in Chicago last week (6PM, about to leave the office to go to an OfA phone bank, and a VP walks up to me and says “We’ve got a crisis in Chicago, so you’re taking the next flight out. No time to pack, expense some clothes once you get there, GO!”) and my cats were alone. Razzle misses me, but as long as she gets fed it’s not a tragedy. Murphle is scared of almost every human. So Wednesday afternoon I get a call from my friend Dan (the nearest guy when I got tagged—I threw him my keys and told him when they get fed and when Razzle gets medicine) and he tells me, “Yeah, I fed them and everything—but man, I have never heard such terror and despair as when Murphle meowed at me when I was standing in your bedroom doorway. I mean, pitiful.”
I reached Guilt Alert Level Red and maintained it until I got home a little after midnight Saturday. Damn cats.
Colette - October 28, 2009 | 1:33 am · Link
I would like to have my own personal Alan Rickman clone right now, please, because the Bay Bridge is closed due to parts of it falling down and I am on the wrong end of it and I am sleeping at the office tonight.
bago - October 28, 2009 | 1:37 am · Link
@bago: Remember you are talking to humans.
Colette - October 28, 2009 | 1:39 am · Link
@bago: Humans who have spent the last 15 minutes giggling about possible definitions of “tangenital” and practicing using it in a sentence.
bago - October 28, 2009 | 1:40 am · Link
@Colette: That sucks. I was in SF three weeks ago and dealing with the fallout then.
bago - October 28, 2009 | 1:42 am · Link
@Colette: Well, anyone from LA who can say Tan Genital without giggling…
Chuck Butcher - October 28, 2009 | 1:48 am · Link
I’m still waiting for Gus to forgive me over the week in FL.
Anne Laurie - October 28, 2009 | 1:49 am · Link
@Colette: Owww! Hope you have the opportunity to shower in the morning, or at least change. And that your devotion to duty is properly rewarded…
Ash Can - October 28, 2009 | 1:51 am · Link
@Bad Horse’s Filly: Tunch is probably noisily raiding the fridge as we speak.
@ellaesther: As far as I’m concerned, the whole damn Obama Administration is fifteen pounds of pretty in a five-pound sack, but that may just be my personal biases talking. Even my rumply ol’ homeboy David Axlerod looks good with the Oval Office wrapped around him. Oh, and I’d go gay for Melody Barnes. On the spot. Just sayin’.
@Incertus: Hmm.. 4 AM plus 90 minutes times ten…divided by 6…carry the—Jesus, those guys were playing till happy hour! In Fiji!
@Fulcanelli:
You said it; we didn’t.
bago - October 28, 2009 | 1:57 am · Link
@Colette: If I catalogued the nights I spent at Expedia and Microsoft…
Ash Can - October 28, 2009 | 1:58 am · Link
OK, my comment at (or around) #75 is stuck in moderation purgatory. Once it makes its appearance, the night-owl crew can make a game out of figuring out what exactly, buried in the text, got the comment sunk-ass sunk. Have fun, all.
Brachiator - October 28, 2009 | 1:59 am · Link
@Colette:
Damn. This is serious business. I love the various bridges of the Bay area.
Meanwhile, in Australia, they recently had a picnic on the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
sognforaday - October 28, 2009 | 2:07 am · Link
It’s called a
hookerescort. Look it up in the yellow pages. Since you’re on the company dime, chalk it up as “promotion”.Cole, if you’re seriously typing the above, you need to get laid. I’d suggest the above forementioned yellow pages.
sloan - October 28, 2009 | 2:20 am · Link
Nice. He’s had that guitar forever and loves to open with Whiskey River.
Yutsano - October 28, 2009 | 2:40 am · Link
I’m here but I’m kinda dealing with aging on Friday. So uhh yeah I pretty much got nothin’.
MNPundit - October 28, 2009 | 2:48 am · Link
You know, I’ve come to a conclusion. I just don’t like animals much.
I’m glad she means a lot to you though, think how happy you’ll be when you come back and she comes running to you Cole. She will be happy too.
It’s good you can both share that moment.
anie - October 28, 2009 | 3:11 am · Link
The Alan Rickman thing – for me it’s his voice. I could listen to him all day, or all night for that matter.
SiubhanDuinne - October 28, 2009 | 3:18 am · Link
@Bad Horse’s Filly
@asiangrrlMN
@All other Rickman fans
I’m a member of this club too. My all-time favourite (maybe because it was my First Time) was Rickman’s role as the slimy weasely clergyman Obadiah Slope in the BBC’s “Barchester Chronicles.” Gorgeous period stuff, well worth finding. Also, no one has mentioned “Truly Madly Deeply” opposite Juliet Stevenson, another wonderful part for him.
Tattoosydney - October 28, 2009 | 3:24 am · Link
Just ducking in to say that I spent some time reading the comments on the Cutest Dog “blog“, and that with the notable exception of our Sylvia, they ARE ALL FUCKING INSANE.
I hope Bitsy has some serious muscle protecting her.
That is all.
Tattoosydney - October 28, 2009 | 3:29 am · Link
@asiangrrlMN:
Hey! That’s MY list.
SiubhanDuinne - October 28, 2009 | 3:41 am · Link
@Tattoosydney
Not only insane, but semi-literate, most of them. That was a depressing exercise, which I shall not repeat.
I do kind of miss the daily routine of votingforbitsy, though.
MikeJ - October 28, 2009 | 3:59 am · Link
@SiubhanDuinne: I’d love to know the story behind some of what went on, but I can’t STAND reading the WEIRDLY CAPITALIZED rants about how THINGS are SO unfair.
I know the owner of one dog was buying votes in mafia wars. I can understand the contest can’t police the whole internet, so I can understand them saying that they weren’t even going to try. Their argument that all voting in the real world boils down to bribery I found disingenuous and insulting. There’s a difference between voting for your best interests and straight up tit for tat vote buying. (Which reminds me I need to get some more tat for swapping.)
Is there anyway to understand this charge:
without reading thousands of posts by angry, illiterate douchebags?
JackieBinAZ - October 28, 2009 | 5:24 am · Link
Here’s the snarky bastard with a poem.
2th&nayle - October 28, 2009 | 5:28 am · Link
@MikeJ:
Without regard to the current ‘cute doggie voting’ dust up, I’d have to say that considering the supposed crucial issue of campaign funds as a prerequisite to getting elected, they might have a point. I mean it might be considered bribery at the subliminal level. Otherwise, why would campaign funding be an issue.
This is my first attempt at block quote so please bear with me.
2th&nayle - October 28, 2009 | 5:31 am · Link
@2th&nayle: I don’t believe it! Woo Hoo! Now if I can just remember how I did it! haha!
Ash Can - October 28, 2009 | 7:57 am · Link
@Colette: Gah. I hope you found a comfy place to sleep, at the very least, and that you make it home today.
SiubhanDuinne - October 28, 2009 | 8:10 am · Link
@MikeJ / 3:59 am
Short answer: No, I don’t think there is. And I’m equally confused, but I didn’t even try to read more than a handful of the posts and I don’t know the players (human or otherwise) anyhow except for our gal.
Maybe someone will write a nice clear journalistic account one day when it’s all over.
SiubhanDuinne - October 28, 2009 | 8:14 am · Link
@Ash Can
Hey, did your comment ever get unmodded? The one you said was at around #75? I looked for it a couple of times but never saw it, and I was so looking forward to playing a nice round of Find the Hidden Forbidden.
Ash Can - October 28, 2009 | 8:25 am · Link
@SiubhanDuinne: Nope. It’s still languishing. I must have said something really awful.
I’m kidding—it wasn’t any more obnoxious than usual for me. Maybe it was the crack on Tunch that it included…
R-Jud - October 28, 2009 | 8:44 am · Link
@Incertus:
Honestly, he’s been in a LOT of bad movies. I think the last ten years have been pretty shitty for him in terms of the projects he’s chosen, with very few exceptions. I don’t know if it’s his taste or his agent’s, or if it’s just what’s been offered to him, but the material he’s worked with doesn’t match up to his talent. I can see the appeal of Harry Potter—ten years of steady work, good pay—but what’s he had to pass on, I wonder, so that he could continue grumbling in a wig?
When I was 19 I saw him live, as Antony, with Helen Mirren as Cleopatra. The critics weren’t pleased, but I sure was.
BigSwami - October 28, 2009 | 9:19 am · Link
Whereas I personally am looking for a woman who defends me before I can say a word – perfect for a drunkard.
Cheryl from Maryland - October 28, 2009 | 9:24 am · Link
For early and delicious Alan Rickman, see Quigley Down Under, with Mr. RIckman as the baddie wearing black leather pants.
CaseyL - October 28, 2009 | 11:31 am · Link
Ditto on the Rickman love. Not that I want to itemize or anything, but along with the voice it’s his eyes that get me.
I’m glad to see Truly Madly Deeply get a mention: I think it was the first thing I saw AR in that he wasn’t a villain.
(Not that there’s anything wrong with AR as a villain. Nope. (wipes drool off chin) Uh Uh. )
But it was a nice surprise to see he doesn’t have to bring Teh Ebol to be sex on toast.
Scuffletuffle - October 28, 2009 | 12:21 pm · Link
To all the AR fans, I’m in the club, too.
Check out Search for John Gissing…
Also, barber’s chair in Sweeney Todd, lying back…
(wipes drool from chin)
cmorenc - October 28, 2009 | 2:50 pm · Link
@ellaesther
Even less helpful is to indulge politically-correct stereotypes that right-thinking men and women will always tend to react the same ways to situations, because they don’t. This observation has nothing at all to do with equality or the suitability of women for powerful positions (my wife is an ob-gyn physician and can take care of and think for herself just fine). I’ve got two pretty darn strong-minded daughters on their way toward successful careers.
One of my primary hobbies is soccer refereeing at very competitive levels, and one of the things you darn better understand to do this very well is to have a good grasp of which notions about differences between the sexes are completely full of crap (i.e. that women shouldn’t be expected or allowed to play a rough, physical game), and which you darn better well be aware of (when male players get pissed off about something that just happened, they tend to retaliate very quickly, whereas while female players will sometimes also retaliate quickly, they’re more likely to bide their time harboring a grudge and wait patiently for a good opportunity to lower the boom on the alleged miscreant opponent). This is something not just acknowledged, but actually taught by top-level female referees in referee classes.
Back to the main topic, I GUARANTEE that if you compiled lists of women who actively undertake efforts to “change” [reform] their significant other in significant ways at some point after they’re in a committed relationship is MUCH MUCH longer than the list of guys trying to to the same for their female partner. Doesn’t have a thing to do with equlity or stereotypes, but rather this is something I and lots of other folks, male and female, have objectively observed over countless instances.