Looking in the Mirror
This is depressing because it is such a realistic portrayal of our discourse:
I’m surprised I didn’t see Captain Ed in there.
(via)
August 27, 2009 5:54 pm
Posted in: Republican Crime Syndicate - aka the Bush Admin., War on Terror aka GSAVE®
52 Comments
52 Responses
freelancer - August 27, 2009 | 6:02 pm · Link
I wonder if in this (slightly) fictional universe, they flushed copies of House of Leaves down the toilet.
SGEW - August 27, 2009 | 6:03 pm · Link
“We could use Griffons, but we don’t use Griffons, and that’s what separates us from the terrorists.”
Spot on.
General Winfield Stuck - August 27, 2009 | 6:08 pm · Link
Lmao. That video is a national treasure. The Minotaur was only 11 feet tall, not the reported 20. Perfecto!
BR - August 27, 2009 | 6:10 pm · Link
Bush: ‘Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over’
That can never be read enough times.
What I don’t get is how the media can be so impaired that they can’t recognize what they’ve become when satirized by The Onion or by Stewart/Colbert.
Faux News - August 27, 2009 | 6:10 pm · Link
There is something very erotic to that photo (according to our Republican Faux News viewers). Let me just say that if there is ANY Minotaur on man sex about to happen former Senator Rick Santorum (Wignut-PA) will be on it right away!
Not with OUR tax dollars you liberal hippies!
Tim - August 27, 2009 | 6:12 pm · Link
The Onion hits it again. Between the Onion and the Daily Show, I don’t see much of a reason to check the “respectable” news sources anymore.
Zifnab - August 27, 2009 | 6:15 pm · Link
@Tim: Cheers to that. If I’m going to listen to a paid actors blather nonsense disguised as news stories between expensive graphic animations and goofy commercials, at least let the actors be comedians.
joe from Lowell - August 27, 2009 | 6:16 pm · Link
John Yoo’s often-misunderstood Minotaur Memo was actually an effort to clarify what sorts of Minotaur attacks went beyond the law.
The definitively proves that the goring, trampling, and axe-boarding were legal, moonbats.
joe from Lowell - August 27, 2009 | 6:18 pm · Link
BR,
I read that story at the time, and thought it was way overboard.
Giant deficits? Another Iraq War? I thought they were laying it on a little thick.
Heh heh. Heh. Heh.
Sob.
LoveMonkey - August 27, 2009 | 6:21 pm · Link
You knew it was me, all along.
Tim - August 27, 2009 | 6:24 pm · Link
Re: the preview photo, I thought the video was going to be about Randall Terry’s group pretending to kill a senior citizen to pay for health care.
Terry’s colleagues put on a skit with a man in an Obama mask pretending to whip a bloodied woman, who kept saying, “Massa, don’t hit me no more. I got the money to kill the babies.”
Terry himself dressed in a doctor’s lab coat and pretended to stab a woman in a gray wig.
“There’s no way to pay for this thing without killing granny,” Terry explained.
(from
The Hill)
Tim - August 27, 2009 | 6:26 pm · Link
@Tim: Sorry, I messed up the blockquote.
tgeb - August 27, 2009 | 6:27 pm · Link
You goddamn dimlibs, minotaur goring is no worse than a purple nurple. Also it is an essential part of our national defense and we would all be killed by the sand elves if not for our brave CIA demigods and their unstoppable killing machin… er “Enhanced Questing Techniques.”
I say we give all the minotaurs enchanted battle axes and let our ۥnd amendment loving citizens carry them onto airplanes as carry-on luggage.
smiley - August 27, 2009 | 6:28 pm · Link
OT and personal but have any of the academics here ever been contacted by an academic headhunter? I was today. I’m just a lowly professor (associate) at a fairly obscure regional private university (though I’m fairly well known in my obscure field of study). They contacted me about whether or not they can market me as a possible department head at other universities. I told them I’d get back to them. Curious.
Violet - August 27, 2009 | 6:28 pm · Link
“...but you have to remember what it was like after 9/11.”
“That flesh-hungry half-man, half-bull kept us safe from the terrorists.”
“Frankly I think it’s sad that the words ‘neverending labyrinth of pain’ are synonymous with one loose cannon minotaur.”
Holy cow, this is spot on. Did they take those lines straight from the cable blab-fests?
@Tim: Agreed. Who needs “real” news when the fake news does better reporting.
LoveMonkey - August 27, 2009 | 6:29 pm · Link
@smiley:
That was me, it was just a joke.
.
.
Alright, I’m kidding.
smiley - August 27, 2009 | 6:31 pm · Link
@Tim: Blockquote does not like paragraphs. Remove the spaces between paragraphs or add additional [p] tags. I find the former a lot easier.
Tim - August 27, 2009 | 6:31 pm · Link
@smiley: I’m not really an academic, just a HS teacher, but that sounds pretty exciting. Regardless of what happens, it’s gotta feel good to be noticed.
freelancer - August 27, 2009 | 6:33 pm · Link
@BR:
HOLY SHIT.
Tell me that the Onion didn’t retroactively slip that article into their archives.
SGEW - August 27, 2009 | 6:36 pm · Link
@freelancer: Nope. I still remember reading the copy of that article my friend from Colorado gave me – that was when I knew that we were truly fucked.
We warned you! We warned you all! But did you listen?!?
Tim - August 27, 2009 | 6:37 pm · Link
@smiley: I don’t seem to be able to edit it. :(
Tim - August 27, 2009 | 6:40 pm · Link
@freelancer: That was a frighteningly and hilariously foresighted article.
Leelee for Obama - August 27, 2009 | 6:41 pm · Link
@SGEW: Molly Ivins tried before the election, and I wouldn’t have voted for GWB at gunpoint, in any case. The Onion has now lapped reality so many times I’m a bit dizzy. They are wicked clever.
Ann B. Nonymous - August 27, 2009 | 6:45 pm · Link
Incredible attention to detail. The minotaur has a memoir (of course), Labyrinth of Secrecy, by Asterion with Robert Brinks.
The ONN came up with a historically accurate minotaur name, a plausible fake ghostwriter’s name, a book cover mockup using exactly the right typeface for that sort of political expose, and then they dubbed it with a sample from the audiobook, ‘courtesy of Simon and Schuster’: incomprehensible taurine snorts and bellows. In response, the former Bush administration figure scoffs, “that’s completely unsubstantiated.”
But my favorite still is ‘Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested in Manslaughter Loopholes’.
lamh31 - August 27, 2009 | 6:52 pm · Link
Watching the public viewing of Senator Kennedy’s body. Much of the family, including Ted Kennedy’s wife Vicky, is still there, and are greeting the public mourners as they come in. They are even going so far as to give the mourners hugs if they ask.
For all their quirks, and richness, that family stays classy when it comes to public service.
Mnemosyne - August 27, 2009 | 6:58 pm · Link
@Zifnab:
IIRC, the Onion hires people with journalism experience to do their TV segments because the cadence of TV news is very specific. That’s how they can get things so spot-on. I think that at least some of their actors still do the news on small local stations in the Midwest.
Mnemosyne - August 27, 2009 | 7:01 pm · Link
This is one of my favorite videos:
“Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?”
Make sure you watch all the way to the end.
smiley - August 27, 2009 | 7:02 pm · Link
@Tim:
Please don’t describe yourself as “just a HS teacher.” We depend on you. Every layer builds on the previous. You have a tough job. How often to you catch your students texting while you teach? I catch it often. I don’t know where you are but please keep trying to teach them. They don’t know how much you’re trying to help them. Maybe they will one day. Keep trying to be Mister Holland. I am, but with limited success.
Litlebritdifrnt - August 27, 2009 | 7:09 pm · Link
Testing
Litlebritdifrnt - August 27, 2009 | 7:11 pm · Link
@smiley:
That made me smile, my DH is a High School Band Director.
joes527 - August 27, 2009 | 7:12 pm · Link
No laughs at the video. It is way too accurate to be funny.
I’m still in awe of what the Onion did after 9/11. The “Holy Fucking Shit” edition was an amazing mix of humanity and satire. Those guys are genius.
Laura W - August 27, 2009 | 7:15 pm · Link
Depressing?
That was the funniest thing I’ve seen/read/heard all day! I snorted into my hands, it was so good! It takes a lot of snark for me to snort into my hands, just so you know how high that particular bar is.
LauraW, + 2.5
Everything is incremental.
Litlebritdifrnt - August 27, 2009 | 7:25 pm · Link
test
El Cruzado - August 27, 2009 | 7:26 pm · Link
It’s off-topic for this thread, but http://www.theonion.com/conten.....rough_town is still my favorite.
beabea - August 27, 2009 | 7:27 pm · Link
@Mnemosyne
Would the reverse also be true? Because it sure seems as if CNN hires people with Onion experience. Except maybe they were let go by the Onion because the CNN people are absurdly non-funny.
Crashman06 - August 27, 2009 | 7:29 pm · Link
Working for the Onion must be the most awesomest job in the world.
handy - August 27, 2009 | 7:30 pm · Link
Classic! I didn’t know the Geneva Convention prohibits axe-wielding bovine monsters with teeth over 9 “.
pcbedamned - August 27, 2009 | 7:32 pm · Link
Actually, Captain Ed and Co’s newest talking point is that Obamacare is going to pressure people to circumcise their male children
freelancer - August 27, 2009 | 7:34 pm · Link
@Crashman06:
I think it would come in a close third behind Astronaut and Mythbuster.
General Winfield Stuck - August 27, 2009 | 7:38 pm · Link
@pcbedamned:
That Ed, Pun Master.
r€nato - August 27, 2009 | 7:39 pm · Link
@freelancer:
Anna Paquin’s panties has them all beat.
freelancer - August 27, 2009 | 7:44 pm · Link
@r€nato:
Dammit you’re right!
Crashman06 - August 27, 2009 | 7:45 pm · Link
@r€nato: Winner, right here!
freelancer - August 27, 2009 | 7:50 pm · Link
@pcbedamned:
@General Winfield Stuck:
Captain Ed, Funke flunkie:
http://the-op.com/media/image2.....8;cat=6200
Whatever happened to his linguistic attachment to the word “Porkulus”? He couldn’t go two posts with out using it. Now? Nada.
Debbie(aussie) - August 27, 2009 | 8:59 pm · Link
oh my gawd! Absolutely perfect.
Tim - August 27, 2009 | 9:34 pm · Link
@smiley: Smiley, thanks for getting me told. As the year begins (at my new job, no less), it felt good to be upbraided like that.
Martian Buddy - August 27, 2009 | 10:06 pm · Link
@pcbedamned: I’d feel a lot more comfortable laughing at that if I didn’t have this sinking feeling that “ACORN will hack your son’s foreskin off with a rusty butter knife” will be the next variation of the birther/deather insanity.
LoveMonkey - August 28, 2009 | 1:11 am · Link
God, I am adorable.
hamletta - August 28, 2009 | 2:32 am · Link
@freelancer: Oh, no dear. That was in real time.
I thought it was over the top myself. Molly Ivins had written a “just lie back and think of England” column, and I thought, well, how much harm can he do?
Like joe from Lowell says, “haha. Sob.”
Redhand - August 28, 2009 | 7:22 am · Link
The part about Dick Cheney’s reported personal involvement in planning the labyrinth was absolutely priceless.
Seanly - August 28, 2009 | 9:09 am · Link
I, for one, welcome our new minotaur overlords!
Rosali - August 28, 2009 | 9:47 am · Link
I’m late to the party but this Onion piece on opposition to health care reform really captures the level of arguments made these days.