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Beer Pong Herpes

by John Cole

Keep this segment in mind whenever you see any reporting on Fox News:

The Colbert ReportMon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Beer Pong Herpes Outbreak

Too funny.

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March 4, 2009 10:36 am Posted in: Clown Shoes, Media  19 Comments

19 Responses

  1. T Paine - March 4, 2009 | 10:43 am · Link

    Bacteria balls. Mmmmmm….

  2. Throwin Stones - March 4, 2009 | 10:46 am · Link

    That is frakkin funny.

  3. dmsilev - March 4, 2009 | 10:48 am · Link

    Bacteria on the ball? This isn’t another Limbaugh post, is it?

    -dms

  4. kid bitzer - March 4, 2009 | 11:01 am · Link

    there’s also the minor detail that herpes is a virus, and so not a bacteria at all.

    but that won’t bother fox news.

  5. El Cid - March 4, 2009 | 11:03 am · Link

    Unrelated: I expect imminent apologies from the League of Traitorous Republican Southern Senators to U.S. auto companies and the UAW:

    Honda, Mazda May Apply for Japanese Government Loans (Update1)

    By Makiko Kitamura and Tetsuya Komatsu | Bloomberg

    March 4 (Bloomberg)—Honda Motor Co., suffering from a 38 percent plunge in U.S. auto sales in February, may ask to borrow money from Japan’s government to lend to U.S. car buyers.

    The amount of the loans and timing of the request to the state-owned Japan Bank for International Cooperation haven’t yet been determined, spokeswoman Akemi Ando said by phone today. Mazda Motor Corp. is also considering a request for government loans, spokesman Toyota Tanaka said today.

    Honda and Mazda would follow Toyota Motor Corp., Japan’s biggest carmaker, in seeking loans from the government as the global recession hammers auto demand. U.S. auto sales in February slid to the lowest rate since December 1981, led by a 53 percent plunge for General Motors Corp.

    “Things look pretty grim at present,” said Edwin Merner, president of Atlantis Investment Research Corp. in Tokyo, which manages $3.1 billion. “By the end of the year, the year-on-year figures should start improving unless the world economy gets much worse.”

    Free market! Damn UAW! $70/hr! Inefficient! Welfare! Socialism!

  6. Cris - March 4, 2009 | 11:04 am · Link

    My turn to say what everybody says in these situations.

    Why is the most responsible journalism—you know, with fact checking and such—coming from Comedy Central?

  7. Aqualad08 - March 4, 2009 | 11:09 am · Link

    Honey, I swear, I probably got it when I was playing beer pong at Joey’s the other night…put down the knife, please! Seriously, the was a report on FOX news about it…why would I lie? Why would THEY lie?

  8. Zifnab - March 4, 2009 | 11:15 am · Link

    Keep this segment in mind whenever you see any reporting on Fox News:

    Man, I wish it was just Fox. The entire news media went into a feeding frenzy on this. Fox’n’Friends just managed to win the title of Biggest Asshat in the Asshat Parade.

  9. Tsulagi - March 4, 2009 | 11:17 am · Link

    Now the RSSF battle plan makes sense. They’re counting on their balls bacteria covertly taking out the targets. That’s the hidden genius.

  10. R. Porrofatto - March 4, 2009 | 11:20 am · Link

    Official test for "BPH": a Pabst smear.

    (Well that’s what Fox just told me.)

  11. Svensker - March 4, 2009 | 11:20 am · Link

    Shouldn’t we be able to work in a teabagging reference here?

  12. Incertus - March 4, 2009 | 11:25 am · Link

    I just loved that herpes got turned into Doocys at some point in that segment.

  13. Apsaras - March 4, 2009 | 12:47 pm · Link

    Welcome to Fox News, where we hire a busty doctor to tell people not to eat stuff that hit the floor.

    Why are these people so opposed to the quote unquote nanny state? They really look like they could benefit from it.

  14. TenguPhule - March 4, 2009 | 1:18 pm · Link

    Why is the most responsible journalism—you know, with fact checking and such—coming from Comedy Central?

    Because reality has surpassed parody.

  15. Stannate - March 4, 2009 | 1:54 pm · Link

    I like the Tay Zonday reference at the end.

  16. JGabriel - March 4, 2009 | 2:24 pm · Link

    Beer Pong seems to require a very elaborate setup for a drinking game.

    Whatever happened to good old-fashioned Quarters?

    .

  17. Brain Hertz - March 4, 2009 | 11:30 pm · Link

    The real message that Fox should have been promoting would be to make sure that the beer is IPA. It has more hops in it, which kills the bacteria on the ball.

    Oh, yes, almost forgot. What the f!ck?

  18. Royston Vasey - March 5, 2009 | 12:07 am · Link

    Now don’t confuse this sexually transmitted disease with herpes simplex 1. Herpes simplex 1 are facial cold sores!!

    The strain of herpes complex type 2 (HVP) is a sexually transmitted disease of the genitals, and is transmitted by direct skin contact.

    Hmmm, I thought this was common knowledge. Obviously not.

    RV

  19. jane - March 5, 2009 | 1:26 am · Link

    awww shit, chocolate rain!


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