You say you want a revolution
Via Leo in the comments, here’s a thread at Hannity.com:
This cannot be parodied.
February 26, 2009 4:13 pm
Posted in: Clown Shoes, I Read These Morons So You Don't Have To
180 Comments
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180 Responses
Bulworth - February 26, 2009 | 4:15 pm · Link
I’m a little disappointed the Secession vote isn’t carrying the day.
Dave - February 26, 2009 | 4:30 pm · Link
And John’s Peak Wingnut Theory takes another major blow…
Max - February 26, 2009 | 4:32 pm · Link
It’s a little difficult to conduct an armed rebellion when your fingers are coated with Cheetos dust.
Comrade Stuck - February 26, 2009 | 4:32 pm · Link
The Bats are busy in the wingnut Belfry.
Martin - February 26, 2009 | 4:33 pm · Link
No ethnic cleansing? What a pussy.
cleek - February 26, 2009 | 4:33 pm · Link
hey Sullivan, there’s your fucking 5th column!
Mazacote Yorquest - February 26, 2009 | 4:35 pm · Link
"One big circle around the sun" got no votes?
Carnacki - February 26, 2009 | 4:35 pm · Link
Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but does Sean Hannity’s site look a little gay?
The leaning silhoutte, the manly man mugging?
Michael - February 26, 2009 | 4:35 pm · Link
The Swollen Prostate Regiment of the Chairborne Ranger Division is coming to save us from unAmerican Communists. The can give the war cry of "WOLVERINES" and "Stop Porkulus!" as their Medicare-bought electric chairs whirr them up to storm the White House fence. Some will manage to wheeze their way over and will survive, as the White House guards will be laughing too hard to shoot straight.
CHAIRBORNE!
Gravenstone - February 26, 2009 | 4:35 pm · Link
/gobfuckingsmacked
Granted, fewer than 20 respondents isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement (although it may represent a majority of Herr Hannity’s readership). But how is this not the very definition of sedition?
Mike in NC - February 26, 2009 | 4:36 pm · Link
Nice graphic, eh? "Hannity! Quit slouching! Take your hands out of your pockets, maggot! Now drop and give me 50!"
Scott - February 26, 2009 | 4:37 pm · Link
When Republicans are in office, dissent is treason.
When Republicans aren’t in office, treason is their only strategy.
Michael - February 26, 2009 | 4:37 pm · Link
The leaning silhoutte, the manly man mugging?
Like many of the accomplishment-free figures of the conservative pundit world, he looks like a total cockaholic – the lovespawn of Jeff Gannon and Ted Haggard.
estamm - February 26, 2009 | 4:38 pm · Link
The revolution will not be televised.
jenniebee - February 26, 2009 | 4:38 pm · Link
I can’t believe this, but I think I actually felt safer when my party was out of power and they were calling me a traitor.
Dustin - February 26, 2009 | 4:38 pm · Link
I wonder how brave these fools would really be if the US government decided they were actively fomenting a rebellion and not just venting out their ass. On second thought, I’d like nothing better than to see Hannity and this "honored guest" poster brought up on charges the moment some wingnut decides to take a potshot at a federal building. It’s not like the chances of such and attack are low; these guys are completely unhinged.
Speaking of which, Hannity’s forum moderators might want to read up on the law regarding advocating sedition.
lilly Von Schtupp - February 26, 2009 | 4:39 pm · Link
I do not know about teh ghey (my gaydar sucks!), but it definetly seems a bit self-absorbed.
Joshua Norton - February 26, 2009 | 4:40 pm · Link
It will be an uprising of epic proportions.
Or not.
Also.
cleek - February 26, 2009 | 4:41 pm · Link
well, he does look like a young Nathan Lane.
The Dangerman - February 26, 2009 | 4:41 pm · Link
I say let them secede; when they find out that Red States were typically getting back more money from the Government than they paid in, well, I just hope they remember to give us a courtesy flush.
Egilsson - February 26, 2009 | 4:41 pm · Link
I hope someone is perserving that thread, because it’s like permanent innoculation against any stupid lefty blog thread where someone says something stupid that is singled out as proof that democrats are violent or traitors.
It’s like an "I Win" button or something.
4tehlulz - February 26, 2009 | 4:42 pm · Link
Note that the question does not ask what the voter would actually do, just what is appealing; whoever wrote it realizes that the typical Hannity troll can’t be bothered to do that action thing and would rather let someone else do all the heavy lifting.
Fwiffo - February 26, 2009 | 4:43 pm · Link
Wow, DougJ, they just keep making your job harder, don’t they.
gopher2b - February 26, 2009 | 4:44 pm · Link
Stop and think about how great secession would be.
Yeah, you know what I’m saying.
gbear - February 26, 2009 | 4:44 pm · Link
4. Mass suicide by cyanide Koolaid.
b-psycho - February 26, 2009 | 4:45 pm · Link
Is it just me, or does Hannity look like he was hittin some damn good ‘dro before they took that banner pic? How any human being can squint that hard otherwise is a mystery.
Michael - February 26, 2009 | 4:45 pm · Link
That calls for some photoshopping.
"We can make more money with a flop than with a hit."
Indylib - February 26, 2009 | 4:45 pm · Link
If these asshats think "armed rebellion" will include the US military they are more fucking delusional than I thought they were, which is saying a lot because on a scale of 1 to 10 I already thought they had reached 644 or so.
NonyNony - February 26, 2009 | 4:46 pm · Link
@jenniebee:
I can’t agree. It’s scary I’ll admit, but thankfully most of these guys are all talk. On the other hand, when their "team" was in power we got two wars that have led to hefty casualties and heftier numbers of wounded in exchange for nothing. On the whole, I’ll take the guys with the flapping gums over the wars.
On the other hand – I bet it’s a pain in the ass to be working for the FBI these days. They have to be expecting another Oklahoma City attempt in the next few years. I hope they’re up for the challenge.
gex - February 26, 2009 | 4:47 pm · Link
What? No "Win At The Polls" option? I thought
freedomdemocracy was on the march. Did it march on out of here?gbear - February 26, 2009 | 4:47 pm · Link
5. Turn on, Tune in, Drop out.
(did I get that right? If you can remember the 60’s, you weren’t there…)
Zifnab - February 26, 2009 | 4:48 pm · Link
Military Coup, Armed Rebellion, War of Secession? Aren’t these three terms for – functionally – the same damn thing?
I would abso-fucking-lutely love to see the Cheetos brigades take to the streets in some serious fashion. Watching the right wing hordes line up and collectively shoot themselves in the feet (literally this time) would be too much fun to watch. You could definitely sell tickets.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist - February 26, 2009 | 4:48 pm · Link
Oooh – it’s up to 19 votes now!
The floodgates of rebellion have truly been not only opened but demolished.
bootlegger - February 26, 2009 | 4:48 pm · Link
@Gravenstone: It is the textbook definition of sedition. Via Webster:
sedition
Conduct or speech inciting people to rebel against the authority of a state
b-psycho - February 26, 2009 | 4:48 pm · Link
@Michael: LOL at "Cockaholic"...nice one.
Ash Can - February 26, 2009 | 4:49 pm · Link
Oh yes. Excellent. Good job, Sean. Keep this insanity in the spotlight, constantly. The more publicity the better. Make moderate/casual conservatives realize just what it is that’s slithering past their ankles as they wade into the movement. Impress upon real centrists (as opposed to "center-rightists" (TM)) just what’s infesting the right wing these days. And keep the rest of us on our toes.
And I mean it. If it helps us avoid another Oklahoma City, it’s well worth all the aggravation of having to see and hear this crap in the media.
gbear - February 26, 2009 | 4:49 pm · Link
6. Carrying pictures of Chairman Mao.
camchuck - February 26, 2009 | 4:50 pm · Link
From the (Hannity) comments:
I guess DougJ is now a "fringe element" for calling them out on murder and sedition fantasies.
valdivia - February 26, 2009 | 4:51 pm · Link
@Zifnab:
don’t forget tomorrow is the beginning with the demonstrations in the streets coordinated by twitter.
Zifnab - February 26, 2009 | 4:51 pm · Link
Country First!
Dustin - February 26, 2009 | 4:51 pm · Link
Bloody hell. I’m trying to read that thread and in the time it takes to read a page they add one more… I can see this’ll be a long night. Might have to go get me some popcorn, it’s starting to get funny…
Walker - February 26, 2009 | 4:52 pm · Link
@Indylib:
Glenn Beck stated that the US military would fight against Obama, and "serve on the side of the Constitution", in his televised secessionist war games.
Bill - February 26, 2009 | 4:52 pm · Link
All thoughts of Hannity are revolting. So what’s new?
SpotWeld - February 26, 2009 | 4:53 pm · Link
I am more and more convinced that right-wingers are fantasy gamers who just have horribly damaged imaginations.
Roger Moore - February 26, 2009 | 4:54 pm · Link
@Egilsson:
You’re forgetting IOKIYAR. When a Democrat says something against a Republican, it’s treason. When a Republican plots a rebellion against a Democrat, they’re protecting our freedom.
NonyNony - February 26, 2009 | 4:54 pm · Link
@camchuck:
WTF?
Someone is talking about armed fucking insurrection against the United State of America and this guy is worried about the fucking fairness doctrine?
What. The. Fuckity. Fucking. Fuckery. Fucktastic. Fuck. is wrong with these people?
Delia - February 26, 2009 | 4:54 pm · Link
I guess poisoning by cheetos takes too long and it mainly hits their own commandos.
bootlegger - February 26, 2009 | 4:56 pm · Link
At least the poster left this contradictory disclaimer:
Nevertheless, I am still very interested in your own preferred form of revolt.
Neverthelss, I am still very interested in whether or not Boehner was ever called Boner in high school.
Michael - February 26, 2009 | 4:56 pm · Link
Whenever I channel surf around Beck’s time, I have to make sure I’m not holding heavy objects. I’d hate to have to buy a new TV right now, and his sneering pasty face inspires me toward radical acts.
bootlegger - February 26, 2009 | 4:58 pm · Link
@camchuck: If you mean fringe on his leather jacket, I’m sure its true. Man I miss my jacket with the leather fringe.
Michael - February 26, 2009 | 4:58 pm · Link
I’m guessing he’s wearing a thong, as he’d have gotten accustomed to daily wedgies.
Zifnab - February 26, 2009 | 4:58 pm · Link
@Michael: Shame how he was forced to pull out and retreat to the FOX Noise network. I was afraid CNN was going to escape the sucking black hole of liberalism that is John King, Lou Dobbs, and Scary Werewolf Man.
EriktheRed - February 26, 2009 | 4:59 pm · Link
I used to be a regular poster there. It’s gotten a lot closer to FreeRepublic in the last year and a half.
Get a load of this thread, btw:
http://forums.hannity.com/showthread.php?t=1334471
Keith - February 26, 2009 | 4:59 pm · Link
Judging by the pics on Hannity’s site, he employs the same 4’2" cameraman who photographs Joe The Plumber for PJTV
Joshua Norton - February 26, 2009 | 5:00 pm · Link
Too bad “hold my breath until I turn blue”, wasn’t available. Anyway, expect the wingnertz to get lots worse before they have any hope of getting better.
I’m hoping for #3 so that the rest of the country can go “’K – see ya,” leaving the neo-Confederates stunned that no one wants to play with them anymore.
joeyess - February 26, 2009 | 5:00 pm · Link
I’d go over there and join the discussion but….......
joeyess - February 26, 2009 | 5:01 pm · Link
I also call Poe’s Law on that thread.
jibeaux - February 26, 2009 | 5:01 pm · Link
Now that’s a revealing little tete-a-tete.
Captain Haddock - February 26, 2009 | 5:02 pm · Link
I tremble before the might of the Level 11 Mages and their cohorts of chronic masterbators.
bago - February 26, 2009 | 5:04 pm · Link
Seriously, TWO full facials of Hannity on top of multiple forms of treason.
The projection is so strong they can show Red Dawn repeatedly on the surface of the moon.
Max - February 26, 2009 | 5:04 pm · Link
I’ve said many times that Hannity has a face made for gay porn, and that it would be a far more dignified and honorable career than the one he has now.
EriktheRed - February 26, 2009 | 5:04 pm · Link
@Dustin:
Hell, at least one of the moderators ( the one called Lee Kington) is one of the biggest fomenters of sedition on there. You think they give a shit???
Well, they might if someone from "higher up" taps them on the shoulder…
bootlegger - February 26, 2009 | 5:05 pm · Link
@Walker: I watched some of that and he actually had "experts" on to explain why the military would follow the Red State Strike Force in their assault on the White House. Beck too denied that he was advocating this action, he just, you know, sayin’.
EriktheRed - February 26, 2009 | 5:07 pm · Link
@joeyess:
But what?
If you were trying to post a link it doesn’t look like it worked.
bago - February 26, 2009 | 5:07 pm · Link
@EriktheRed: Uhm…
Apparently cancer and christianity have a 1:1 correlation?
OK…
bootlegger - February 26, 2009 | 5:07 pm · Link
@EriktheRed: This comment says it all
JasperTPaddlin' - February 26, 2009 | 5:07 pm · Link
This needs to be shouted from the rooftops…er…desktops & laptops.
Captain Haddock - February 26, 2009 | 5:08 pm · Link
I love how the figureheads of this Heartland Revolt all live and work in New York City.
Field Marshall Hannity will lead the revolution once he wraps up dinner at Nobu.
debit - February 26, 2009 | 5:10 pm · Link
@bootlegger
Not as much as I miss my surrey with the fringe on the top.
Gravenstone - February 26, 2009 | 5:10 pm · Link
@bootlegger:
My point, exactly.
And to the clown poster from the Manitee’s site excerpted above – seriously, sedition doesn’t bother you, but the fact the dirty stinkin’ libs might use it against you does? Priorities, motherfucker! Do you have them?
Comrade Stuck - February 26, 2009 | 5:10 pm · Link
@camchuck:
Of course. It will be filed under liberal Hoi Polloi by these Great Americans/wingnuts
jenniebee - February 26, 2009 | 5:12 pm · Link
@valdivia: which threads? I want to watch!
UPDATE: I couldn’t find the real threads, but I did find a Rockabilly Group and oh hey, a real thread! and it’s being offered up to Rick Santelli
Update 2: awww… MNteaparty (https://twitter.com/mnteaparty) no tweets, 1 follower. That’s so pathetic, it’s kind of sweet.
bootlegger - February 26, 2009 | 5:14 pm · Link
@Gravenstone: Fortunately a handful of the posters in that 120+ and growing thread mention that this is sedition, and the guy that started the thread keeps saying "I was just wondering, I’m not serious", but the fact that Beck and now the Hannity Drones are fantasizing about it should give us all pause. I say bring ‘em on. It would be too cool if we could just meet in the park with baseball bats and chains and get it on Outsiders style.
John PM - February 26, 2009 | 5:15 pm · Link
4. American – You know, the one that gave us the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.
I think I can make an argument that the poll and the various comments constitute Treason as set forth in the U.S. Constitution, and clearly these treasonous comments are being witnessed by more than two people. Thanks to warrantless wiring-taping, it should not take the Justice Department too long to find the posters of these treasonous comments.
I am not joking. This is too much. I cannot be snarky about this, especially when this follows the Glenn Beck "special report" on whether the U.S. Army would support rebellion against the U.S. government. Do they think that Democrats and "liberals" would not fight back? Do they think that only "conservatives" own guns?
JasperTPaddlin' - February 26, 2009 | 5:17 pm · Link
I think we should let them "secede." We can stick them on Midway. That should appeal to their war-pr0n streak, and they don’t believe in global warming and MSL rise, so how do we lose?.
JasperTPaddlin' - February 26, 2009 | 5:18 pm · Link
@bootlegger: Once they say it, they can’t un-say it.
Edit: nope, definitely Warriors style.
Wingnuts! Come out and play!
nylund - February 26, 2009 | 5:19 pm · Link
But have they named the upcoming war yet? My money is on "The War of Liberal Aggression."
Woodrowfan - February 26, 2009 | 5:19 pm · Link
C-PAC, come out andddd playyyyyyyy…
Cyrus - February 26, 2009 | 5:20 pm · Link
@bootlegger:
What is he bleeping out, there? What’s the missing word?
Shuttered? But why censor that?
Shittered? But that’s not a word! Neither is fucktered, pisstered or any other four-letter word that I can think of followed by "tered."
Thoughts, anyone?
jake 4 that 1 - February 26, 2009 | 5:22 pm · Link
I have got to stop checking this blog at work. Those sudden guffaws of laughter are so hard to explain.
Love the way the poll is absolutely SWAMPED with replies. I suspect military coup is scoring lowest because the Damp Pants Brigade thinks it means they’d have to join the military.
bootlegger - February 26, 2009 | 5:22 pm · Link
@Cyrus: I had the same thought and damned if I can think of anything. "Shattered" seems to fit but why censor that unless their censor filter detects "shat" as the past tense of "shit".
Tsulagi - February 26, 2009 | 5:23 pm · Link
I like the question phrasing…
Geez, with such appealing choices it’s hard to pick just one. Mmmmm, can I get a little secession with a side of armed rebellion to go?
gwangung - February 26, 2009 | 5:23 pm · Link
Boy, are they in for a surprise…
South of I-10 - February 26, 2009 | 5:23 pm · Link
I really want to laugh at this, but I just can’t. The Democratic party has been in power for 37 days and these idiots are advocating sedition?
El Cid - February 26, 2009 | 5:23 pm · Link
Do y’all see why I’m not joking when I mention the nearly unstoppable attraction to treason, sedition, and harming Americans found among our neo-Confederate Republican party?
Nobody, but nobody hates America and Americans like Republicans hate America and Americans.
Zifnab - February 26, 2009 | 5:23 pm · Link
@EriktheRed:
WOLVERINES!
Nothing says you’re ready to rock and roll like, "Oh shit, boss is coming! Minimize! Minimize! Delete! Delete!"
Comrade Darkness - February 26, 2009 | 5:25 pm · Link
What kind of choices are those? Where is: "attract alien invasion" and "racially targeted bio-agent"?
jenniebee - February 26, 2009 | 5:27 pm · Link
OK, for those of you who twitter, if you add #teaparty to your tweets, say the ones about really wanting a bagel or asking about home remedies for jock itch – whatever floats your boat, your comment will be added to the teaparty playaz main communication stream.
Not that I would ever do such a thing, all day long tomorrow for instance, or anything like that.
Cheers!
Zifnab - February 26, 2009 | 5:27 pm · Link
@gwangung: It’s obscenely stupid on its face. Who are the Red State Heroes going to rebel against? Their own state and local governments? Or are they all gonna hop in their Tahoes and drive from Tennessee to DC to bust a cap?
You think Pawlenty, Schwartzenagger, Jindal, Palin, or Perry are going to embrace armed insurgency in their own states? Or is this a Red State uprising in backwater Pennsylvania and upstate New York? I mean, who do these people think they are going to be shooting at?
scarshapedstar - February 26, 2009 | 5:28 pm · Link
22 Davids and counting have joined this Army. Vive la Wingnut!
EriktheRed - February 26, 2009 | 5:30 pm · Link
@bootlegger:
No, actually it wouldn’t. What would be cool, though, is to see them shit their pants when they see what it would really mean to get into armed rebellion.
Remember how things went back in the Clinton-hating 90s? The fringe anti-government groups found out the hard way that you don’t get very far if the majority of the public doesn’t appreciate your efforts.
gbear - February 26, 2009 | 5:30 pm · Link
@Cyrus:
hint: She-do-bee, S***tered, S***tered.
Joshua Norton - February 26, 2009 | 5:31 pm · Link
From what I’m seeing, it’s the batshit crazy wingnuts against the a-little-less-batshit-crazy wingnuts.
EriktheRed - February 26, 2009 | 5:35 pm · Link
@Cyrus:
They have a profanity filter on there and the word "shat" (because it’s the past tense of shit) is one of the words filtered. And it’s considered a violation if someone tries to put the word in anyway, even if it’s part of another, non-filtered word.
IOW, the word is "shattered".
GSD - February 26, 2009 | 5:35 pm · Link
We must demand that Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck and Joe the Dickwad put their money where their big fat mouths are by making them generals in this new civil war.
Suit ‘em up and send them into the bluest of blue states and tell them to bring it on.
-GSD
DougJ - February 26, 2009 | 5:37 pm · Link
But it’s okay to suggest murdering fellow citizens? What world they live in!
magisterludi - February 26, 2009 | 5:37 pm · Link
Idle thought- can you imagine if that asshole in TN, who shot and killed the Unitarians because they were liberals or democrats, had opened fire in a Baptist church instead and blamed the GOP for his sad state of affairs?
Just imagine.
Comrade Dread - February 26, 2009 | 5:45 pm · Link
It makes Stephen Colbert’s site look restrained.
No, not really. Despite the GOP’s perception of Democrats and Independents as a bunch of surrender monkeys, I (at least) would get pretty bitter and pissed off if the Red State Fuckwads started acting like a bunch of Al Qaeda and tried to disrupt my life.
I’m no fan of government, but if you’ve put up with or spend all of your time cheerleading during the last eight years, and only now (now that your particular party is out of power) do you discover ‘limted government’ and respect of the Constitution, and advocate rebellion as a remedy, then you are not a principled man. You are not a patriot.
You are an opportunistic cocksucker deserving of nothing but ridicule, scorn, and derision.
eric - February 26, 2009 | 5:45 pm · Link
@Comrade Darkness:
FTW
jwb2005 - February 26, 2009 | 5:45 pm · Link
What does it mean that so few of them seem willing to vote? It seems there are far more people writing replies to the thread than actually voting.
Zifnab - February 26, 2009 | 5:46 pm · Link
@magisterludi: They wouldn’t scream any louder. Hell, they’d probably have the guy on to replace Colmes.
Indylib - February 26, 2009 | 5:48 pm · Link
@Walker: Beck needs to check out the formal oath our military men and women swear to the Constitution. If the fucking idiot thinks they will join and insurrection against a legally elected CIC then he has never asked anyone in the actual military what their opinion is on this subject.
I am so sick of these wingnutty fucknuts thinking that because they have the verbal wherewithal to say the phrase "support the troops" that they have any flippin clue what the military does, thinks or how it operates. One idiot active duty jackass says something that’s going to get his ass court martialed and these eejits extrapolate it to believing that the entire military establishment will support an armed insurrection.
They are too fucking stupid to live.
EriktheRed - February 26, 2009 | 5:48 pm · Link
@DougJ:
Yes, their priorities are indeed fucked up. Which makes the thought of them being relegated to the fringe even more of a relief.
Comrade Dread - February 26, 2009 | 5:49 pm · Link
"Raise undead horde."
"Build robotic Terminator armies, but not the ones like Arnold, he’s a RINO. And not the hot chick. She’s a lesbian. Maybe Robert Patrick…"
sidereal - February 26, 2009 | 5:49 pm · Link
Hate to rain on the parade, but 1) it’s a poll created by a forum user, so it’s not Hannity or any representative thereof throwing it out there, and 2) the comment thread after it is actually pretty reasonable with an apparent plurality writing in ‘tax revolt’. I wouldn’t be surprised if the OP was a liberal trying to goad the forum regulars.
NonyNony - February 26, 2009 | 5:51 pm · Link
@Comrade Dread:
Yeah, well, I’d actually like to see these Fuckwads attempt to live the "Al Qaeda lifestyle". It’s not like those guys living in caves at the edge of civilization have all of life’s amenities at their fingertips either. I imagine the Red State Revolutionaries would cave faster than the rest of this country once they realized that the only way they were going to stay out of government custody was by hiding in the mountains and living off squirrels and berries.
bootlegger - February 26, 2009 | 5:52 pm · Link
@EriktheRed: Of course, that’s actually what I meant. If they had to face off against actual people they’d shit their pants and run for home.
bootlegger - February 26, 2009 | 5:54 pm · Link
Check out this headline at Salon
Or is he just a liar? What mental state allows someone to condemn the very tactics he pioneered and spent years exploiting?
By Glenn Greenwald
Glenzilla FTW!
Mike in NC - February 26, 2009 | 5:55 pm · Link
Hey, you gotta go with what your good at…
bootlegger - February 26, 2009 | 5:56 pm · Link
@magisterludi: And may I point out, as a proud Unitarian, that the men jumped the shooter and beat him down while another dude shielded the children and took a bullet. At Virgina Tech a commie terrorist loving prof took a bullet to protect his students. Where were the Yellow Elephants and ROTC? Shitting their pants under their desks.
bootlegger - February 26, 2009 | 5:56 pm · Link
@magisterludi: And may I point out, as a proud Unitarian, that the men jumped the shooter and beat him down while another dude shielded the children and took a bullet. At Virgina Tech a commie terrorist loving prof took a bullet to protect his students. Where were the Yellow Elephants and ROTC? Shitting their pants under their desks.
The Grand Panjandrum - February 26, 2009 | 6:07 pm · Link
Those 18 voters must be related to these guys.
Leo - February 26, 2009 | 6:08 pm · Link
@sidereal: There’s no doubt that armed rebellion is a minority position within the Republican party, and probably even in that thread. But there is some serious defense of these options in the thread as well. It’s a debate with people on both sides. And that is pretty fucking noteworthy if you ask me.
Scott - February 26, 2009 | 6:10 pm · Link
I imagine the Red State Revolutionaries would cave faster than the rest of this country once they realized that the only way they were going to stay out of government custody was by hiding in the mountains and living off squirrels and berries.
Hell, I remember that loon whose post-inauguration hunger strike ended after three days when he got a craving for a Big Mac.
Conservatives as Revolutionaries « Torteya - February 26, 2009 | 6:13 pm · Link
[...] Conservatives as Revolutionaries Posted on February 26, 2009 by torteya …whoddathunk? [...]
Polish the Guillotines - February 26, 2009 | 6:13 pm · Link
Move over, Whiskey Rebellion: The Bud Lite™ Rebellion is in the hizzy.
Joshua Norton - February 26, 2009 | 6:15 pm · Link
I think it could be a large minority, though. That’s why it’s a safe haven for the gun loons who shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a loaded weapon. Ever. The pinky dinks in their wife beaters and baseball caps just love the bang-bang shoot’em up overt machismo of the whole concept.
Cain - February 26, 2009 | 6:16 pm · Link
@Michael:
Bastard. Now I got to clean my monitor.
cain
Svensker - February 26, 2009 | 6:20 pm · Link
@jenniebee:
According to Sadly No, the Tea Party event in Pittsburgh has been canceled due to, wait for it….rain. Oh, the humanity! Do the Steelers know about this?
Scene from the TeaPartyRevolution:
Gen. Washington: "Are the men loaded in the boats, Sgt? We need to cross the Delaware swiftly under cover of night if we’re to succeed."
Sergeant: "I’m sorry sir, but we aren’t loading the boats."
Gen. Washington: "What! Why not! The battle for our Republic hangs in the balance! Get those men loaded!"
Sergeant: "Well, sir, the weather chappie thinks it’s going to start raining and the men… Ummm, the rain kind of puts a damper on the morale, if you know what I mean, sir."
Gen. Washington: "Rain, hmmm? Dash it." Pauses. "Right, sergeant, get the man tucked snuggly into their tents. The Republic will just have to hang on a little longer. Gosh, some hot tea would hit the spot right now. Ha! None of that now, of course. Guess I’ll just have to settle for a bowl of piping hot Philadelphia Pepperpot Soup. See to it, sergeant, if you don’t mind."
All exit, stage left.
Memnison Journal » Feel the dumb: - February 26, 2009 | 6:22 pm · Link
[...] the racists who don’t really think Africans can be Americans doesn’t hurt, either. Some are riled enough to talk up secession, armed rebellion and the like. After all the damn kill-the-socialist stuff last fall, I’m only partly [...]
JGabriel - February 26, 2009 | 6:23 pm · Link
@EriktheRed:
So … they’re gonna lead a Glorius Armed Rebellion against the Commie Liberals, but none of the soldiers can say "shit" or "fuck"?
That’s just all kinds of awesome.
.
Jay in Oregon - February 26, 2009 | 6:29 pm · Link
@John PM:
Yes. SATSQ.
TenguPhule - February 26, 2009 | 6:32 pm · Link
This is Balloon Juice.
We parody EVERYTHING.
Tonal Crow - February 26, 2009 | 6:40 pm · Link
They forgot to include (4) Drinking plutonium Kool-Aide and jerking off in mom’s basement to reruns of "24", then choosing one of (1)-(3).
celticdragon - February 26, 2009 | 6:42 pm · Link
I agree. I hope the FBI is ready for the next wave of shootings in Democratic Party HQ’s and bombings of federal buildings.
Joshua Norton - February 26, 2009 | 6:43 pm · Link
Well, the first armed wingnut whacko to come through my door is in for a rude surprise. I may be progressive, but I’m not suicidal.
John PM - February 26, 2009 | 6:45 pm · Link
@sidereal: #106
1) Yes, but you know that if something similar appeared on Daily Kos or some other liberal site, even if not authored by the site owners, Hannity, Beck and O’Reilly would be all over the site calling them America-haters. Indeed, IIRC, this happened at least once during the presidential campaign where O’Reilly took a comment from thousands to a post and claimed that the entire site hated America, were commie pinkos, etc., etc., ad naseum. If I were Hannity’s lawyer (and you could not pay me enough to do that), I would advise him to remove that poll post haste and warn people not not post any other shit like that. I would actually use the word shit in my memo to him, after I hit him over the head with a legal dictionary several times.
2) So tax revolt is better than armed revolution? The Colonials during the Boston Tea Party destroyed property in order to protest taxation without representation. A tax revolt would very likely lead to some kind of armed standoff, so people advocating a tax revolt still appear to be advocating violence against the federal government. Also, what are they going to protest, the largest f-cking tax cut in American history? Assholes.
Left Coast Tom - February 26, 2009 | 6:46 pm · Link
@ErikTheRed
You mean the Cheetos Brigade can select their sedition choice from a menu but they can’t type swear words? This should be funny.
John PM - February 26, 2009 | 6:47 pm · Link
@Jay in Oregon: #123
Sorry, I am revealing my ignorance. What is SATSQ?
Cain - February 26, 2009 | 6:55 pm · Link
@John PM:
Simple Answers to Simple Questions
cain
Chris Johnson - February 26, 2009 | 6:57 pm · Link
Granted Balloon Juice can parody anything, but it’s still only very darkly funny, as all those people are allowed to own guns. I personally think that’s just a risk we have to run as a free society, and besides the quickest way to get these guys to run amok IS to try and take their guns away- but the prospect of them randomly going on a psycho spree and hurting somebody ain’t that funny.
Funny would be them shooting themselves in the foot- not shooting some innocent bystander or hapless government clerk. That’s not funny, that’s just bullshit, and that’s more or less the best we can hope for as a worst case scenario.
We do have a society, of sorts. Randomly shooting Democrats is not considered part of a First World political process.
Bubblegum Tate - February 26, 2009 | 7:03 pm · Link
@nylund:
This comment is made of 100 percent win.
Conservatively Liberal - February 26, 2009 | 7:11 pm · Link
Fuck John! I scrolled down the front page and damn near punched my laptop screen when I saw InsHannity. I know you put stuff up like that but seeing his fugly mug on BJ was still a shock. The actual content of the page is not surprising at all given the tone that wingnutz are adopting.
Sadly, I fully expect some unhinged wingnut to go berserk and kill in the name of their cause now that the wingnutz have been marginalized. Shit like this will only encourage some nutjob to act on their own and become a martyr. Of course, as usual people like InsHannity will deny any part in encouraging these nuts but I have a feeling that they really hope shit will happen.
As said above, nobody, but NOBODY, hates America and Americans like the Rushublican party hates America and Americans. Absolutely.
Fuck! Matthews just went off on Issa about his referring to the Democratic party the "Democrat party". Chris called him on the pettiness of that shit and asked him to stop it and save it for the stump. Then he cut Issa off in responding and said ‘let me go to Barney Frank for some English’.
Fuck yes! Call them on this childish shit with name calling.
Ash Can - February 26, 2009 | 7:12 pm · Link
@sidereal:
Change I can believe in.
Origuy - February 26, 2009 | 7:21 pm · Link
I’m thinking that if any of those idiots are planning a stupid and pointless action, they’ll do it on April 12, the anniversary of the day Confederate batteries opened fire on Fort Sumter. Of course, they won’t actually do it at Fort Sumter; you need to take a boat to get there and they probably would get seasick.
Steve V - February 26, 2009 | 7:25 pm · Link
@celticdragon:
What gets me about this is that it is ONLY OBVIOUS to anyone who lived through the 1990s that the crazier righty elements will soon be cooking up violent plots (if they aren’t already). In fact, given Obama’s race, his policy ambitions, and the vicious right wing demonology that has so quickly developed around him (he isn’t really American!), the powderkeg out there is if anything much more primed for violence than it was in the 1990s. But the "leaders" of the right, be it Hannity or Limbaugh or their online equivalents, or even their most closely allied politicians—all of whom know full well what they’re playing with—are all but coming out and cheering it on!
gil mann - February 26, 2009 | 7:29 pm · Link
Criminy, a 100-plus comment thread about the GOP twitterevolutionaries with a bunch of "The Warriors" references and nobody makes the obvious joke?
Fine. I’ll do it.
Can you Digg it?!
Will - February 26, 2009 | 7:31 pm · Link
Where’s the "assassination fantasy" thread?
delosgatos - February 26, 2009 | 7:36 pm · Link
I’m actually surprised Sean allows threads like this to exist. Talk of sedition and murdering fellow Americans will be the rich fodder of the fringe elements who will demand the fairness doctrine, mark my words.
So… "Talk of sedition and murdering fellow Americans" is mainstream, and only fringe elements would find it troubling?
Strange brew. Peak wingnut, indeed.
celticdragon - February 26, 2009 | 7:41 pm · Link
Sadly, I have no doubt that some of the wackos are already jerking off to the prospect of "saving" America with the Red State Strike Force in some sort of Beer Hall Putsch.
Polish the Guillotines - February 26, 2009 | 7:53 pm · Link
@celticdragon:
Edited for greater accuracy.
Ella in NM - February 26, 2009 | 7:53 pm · Link
@EriktheRed:
OMG it is "shat-"
!
Hahahhahahahahhahhhahaaaa
!
Help me get up off the floor now please…...
Xanthippas - February 26, 2009 | 7:57 pm · Link
Is there a possibility that maybe this time, we could force them out of the Union?
binzinerator - February 26, 2009 | 8:26 pm · Link
@Zifnab:
Oh, I’d say maybe people perceived to be liberals, especially ones found in churches? Since a wingnut foamer of that target audience has already gone and done exactly that…
Comrade Stuck - February 26, 2009 | 8:33 pm · Link
Hannity in full Battle Regalia.
Hob - February 26, 2009 | 8:40 pm · Link
My money’s on secession, based on the number of respondents. I mean, it takes way more than 3 guys for a military coup, and 8 guys will generally be outnumbered an armed rebellion (unless they’re rebelling against their moms). But 7 guys could totally secede, any time. They may have already done it.
binzinerator - February 26, 2009 | 8:41 pm · Link
@binzinerator:
that target audience = Hannity’s audience.
Sorry, confusing choice of words. The Hannity-style rightwing dirtbag targeted liberals specifically in his terrorist attack.
Conservatively Liberal - February 26, 2009 | 8:43 pm · Link
Olbermann will be covering this, tune in!
Conservatively Liberal - February 26, 2009 | 8:53 pm · Link
Hannity won the WPITW award for today…lol! BillO will have to settle for second place with Dennis Miller and some other wingnut.
JWW - February 26, 2009 | 9:38 pm · Link
The only legal secession would be the State of Texas. They still have that right under law.
They may also have certain advantages to do so. They would not ever think such a thing because, their honor to this nation is the same as the heartland and the southern states.
Being the western coastal states and northeast coastal states now dictate, the heartland and Texas will bide their time.
They will wait for all of you fools to grow old and collect all the bennies you can.
It is so sorry because there is a chance one of you may be in the top 10% of income earners. When that happens, send me a picture of your smile….
bayville - February 26, 2009 | 9:44 pm · Link
If this is how the crazies are acting after 37 days of the Obama administration, imagine what the hyperbole will be in 6 months?
David Johnson - February 26, 2009 | 9:46 pm · Link
Where’s the choice "One in which we line up all right-wing religious nut-jobs and shoot them"...I’d vote for that.
Bloodstar » So, this is what the Conservatives are Discussing - February 26, 2009 | 9:58 pm · Link
[...] HT: balloon-juice.com [...]
Stevious - February 26, 2009 | 10:01 pm · Link
Wolverines!
John Cole - February 26, 2009 | 10:02 pm · Link
That is kind of silly. Hannity probably has no clue what these idiots are doing on that forum. It is nutpicking at its best. The only reason Doug probably posted it is because of the three options, which included secession. Hence the “you can’t parody these guys” remark.
Hannity is a jackass, but you can’t fault him for those idiots. That is like blaming Kos for every idiotic diary or the Obama campaign for stupid shit people wrote there.
JWW - February 26, 2009 | 10:05 pm · Link
bayville,
Add up the credit card bills in 37 days and those already proposed to be spent in the near future. The counrty will soon be a home owner defaulting on a loan, only that loan will be owned by another country.
It’s not easy for an illitarate to understand(you). We are currently writing checks we can’t cover. We can print all the bills we want, but if the bill says $100.00 and it is worth only $25.00, Guido will work out the remainder.
SLKRR - February 26, 2009 | 10:10 pm · Link
@JWW:
Oops. I guess somebody forgot to tell Abe Lincoln about that…
Hell, not only should Texas secession be legal, it should be mandatory.
JWW - February 26, 2009 | 10:15 pm · Link
John,
You are alive, I had this strange feeling somebody was filling in for you.
If I were to offend you, would I be banned again. Please guide me. I beg of you, show me mercy.
By the way can you help me with a little cash, maybe a card I can swipe for the bare essentials, maybe(a new car, beer, personal trainer).
JWW - February 26, 2009 | 10:28 pm · Link
SLKRR,
I guess you are a scholar, though not a good one.
When you let go of your ass cheeks, find a book to read. Maybe you should start with "See Spot Run".
It is a lack of words in the Texas Constitution that allows them to be the best stewards of the state.
Chi-city - February 26, 2009 | 10:36 pm · Link
I really can’t stand the smugness, intentional stupidity, and arrogance of Hannity. I am sure he would say the same for me. I hope my politics are one of inclusion, while I feel like his are one of lining his pockets. I am not sure what credentials he has but the IGA needs their bagger back.
Comrade Kevin - February 26, 2009 | 10:47 pm · Link
@John Cole:
That was the actual point of Olbermann’s putting it on the list. He specifically mentioned that.
TenguPhule - February 26, 2009 | 10:53 pm · Link
We’ve been doing that since Ronald may his soul be shit out of demons forever Reagan.
The difference is, this time we’re actually back on the payment plan to pay that outstanding debt down.
DougJ - February 26, 2009 | 10:56 pm · Link
Actually it was the coup that caught my eye.
bootlegger - February 26, 2009 | 11:03 pm · Link
@John Cole: Probably not, but Bill-O and the rest of Faux News (I can’t pin Vannity specifically) did call Kos a "hate-site" because of a few kook posters, not diarists or front pagers, just posters. We’ll see if Bill-O says the same about Vannity’s fans or Stormtrooper Beck. Bill-O claimed he would delete such things from his website, which is interesting for a self-styled Champion of the Constitution.
bcwbcw - February 26, 2009 | 11:21 pm · Link
Given Hannity’s economic views the last should be
"war for recession"
Radio One - February 26, 2009 | 11:40 pm · Link
You know, I really do want to see an opposition party emerge from this. I really do. I don’t want a one party system governing our country. I want to see a Republican party that can raise legitimate complaints against this administration.
Americans deserve a decent opposition party. What the Republican party is offering right now is pure shit.
Rome Again - February 27, 2009 | 12:18 am · Link
@John Cole:
Sounds like Hannity is too busy to moderate his own forum (which is his forum, since it has his name on it).
If a diary on Kos went up during the Bush administration that called for such, and it wasn’t snark (and perhaps even if it was), it would have been pulled.
Rome Again - February 27, 2009 | 12:21 am · Link
@Radio One:
Who says it has to be Republicans?
Another opposition party will arise after the Republican party is left in the ashes.
joeyess - February 27, 2009 | 1:02 am · Link
@EricktheRed
Like I said:
I’d mosey on over there and join the discussion but…....
Egilsson - February 27, 2009 | 9:34 am · Link
John, it’s the hypocrisy, again.
O’Reilly and Hannity have repeatedly gone after Kos and HuffingtonPost for poster comments – not even editor diaries.
This is way beyond that. We have a thread talking about treason and coups and armed rebellion, and it’s still there.
Where are O’Reilly and Hannity now?
It’s worth highlighting this over and over, because they just gutted one of their own stupid talking points. I don’t expect it from them, but I’d love to this filter out more.
I agree that you are not responsible for the stupid comments I or other posters may make, but if you were to argue that other websites have that requirement, then it would apply here after all.
I said at early in this thread, they have now just innoculated all lefty blogs from criticism based on some stupid poster comment.
That’s actually significant.
MH - February 27, 2009 | 10:46 am · Link
@JWW:
Ho ho ho! Good one, rightwing-impersonator, but I know it’s you! Come out from hiding!
Teebob2000 - February 27, 2009 | 1:41 pm · Link
@Carnacki: The leaning silhoutte
THAT’S where I recognize that from: he looks like a creepy dude at teh adult bookstore who hangs around in the back, in the dark, by the video booths, giving his best come-hither gestures.
Or so I’d imagine it to be…
rapido - February 27, 2009 | 5:57 pm · Link
some very ethereal, constitutional law thinking going on over there. glennzilla needs to weigh in on this.
billy bob - February 27, 2009 | 7:25 pm · Link
Lets all move to Arkansas and create our own country! Call it Freedomland! viva la revolution!
Kevin - February 27, 2009 | 8:56 pm · Link
"I’m no fan of government, but if you’ve put up with or spend all of your time cheerleading during the last eight years, and only now (now that your particular party is out of power) do you discover ‘limted government’ and respect of the Constitution, and advocate rebellion as a remedy, then you are not a principled man. You are not a patriot.
You are an opportunistic cocksucker deserving of nothing but ridicule, scorn, and derision."
Beautifully put.
Jeff - February 28, 2009 | 1:00 am · Link
As of this writing, "Armed Rebellion" is ahead with 40%; less than one in four support a military coup. The rest (about 36%) support a war for secession. (85 votes total)
Donald - February 28, 2009 | 11:52 am · Link
Sean Vannity has now flushed that embarrassing bit of truth down the memory-hole
jonnybullet - March 1, 2009 | 10:00 am · Link
Sean, you’re a right wing boilerplate talking point automaton tuned into the doofus network. What you are allowing is and or implying is subterfuge, treason, anarchy along with unpatriotic rhetoric. You are a fool, a hypocrite and a shameless self righteous pampas jackass self promoter who’s intellectual wattage couldn’t power a fire flies ass. You need to sit down and shut up and stop trying to start an insurrection before you cross the line, actually you did that already. What would you have said if Olbermann had mentioned that about Bush’s administration 2 yrs ago? Well we all know the answer to that don’t we Mr stooge.
disappointed - March 18, 2009 | 2:35 pm · Link
what a bunch of statist idiots – falling for the Hannity, neocon domcrats vs republicans, conservatives vs liberals – us vs them bullsh!t
The government regardless of republican or democrat crontrolled is stealing the country blind, selling you into slavery and telling you they are "saving" you the whole time and you believe it.
Hannity is a tool and so is huffington, Obama hasnt provided more freedom or backed off on the war stance of Bush in anyway, in fact its really hard to tell the difference between Obama and Bush except in the area of overly reactinary religious BS like stemcells.
But in the end you are just as abused, controlled and enslaved by the pretend black man in the presidency today as you were by the pretend texas redneck who just went home. The only difference is a the group whos drinking the koolaid today is liberals instead of neocons.
Farsider - March 29, 2009 | 12:02 am · Link
People disregard cable/talk show talkers like Sean Haircut at their own peril. You make think his blusterings that of a simple buffoon, but like it or not, Sean Haircut has a lot of influence with his audience. Somebody out there is liable to hurt somebody because this man’s influence. It’s time to start working on sponsors of his program.